Leave you family for nursing?? - page 2

Hypothetical question....If you've tried for 3+ to get into nursing school (grades are great but it's so competitive in your area) would you apply for a program out of state? You are married with 3... Read More

  1. Visit  Esme12 profile page
    2
    Quote from MrChicagoRN
    When I read this, I thought the challenges faced by many couples who have jobs in different cities and must maintain long distance relationships. It can be done, but it definitely puts a strain on the relationship.

    How far apart is apart? Can they easily see each other every weekend? She'll be with the kids and other family. What will his support system be? Are there other options? Online, transfer of majority of most coursework done locally?

    It can be done, but it is a huge challenge.
    True but that is for a job, income and benefits and they face the same challenges. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder.
    anotherone and Fiona59 like this.
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  3. Visit  Julesmama28 profile page
    2
    Absolutely not! I'm in nursing school now, I have kids and a hubby who travels for his job. It is hard! I cannot imagine how hard it would be, and how much we'd grow apart if I was in another place for 3 years. Our marriage is strong, but I'm sure we wouldn't last.
    jtmarcy12 and Fiona59 like this.
  4. Visit  lindseylpn profile page
    0
    When I was in LPN school I had 2 classmates that did this. I'm in Tennessee and one woman came from a state in the northeast, schools in her state had 3+ years waiting list and cost 3 times as much so, she came and lived with her sister and went to school here. She went home to her husband and kids on holidays and long weekends. The other woman came from North Carolina and lived here with her Mom, she went home to her husband every weekend. I'm sure it was hard but, it worked for them.
  5. Visit  hiddencatRN profile page
    1
    Quote from litebrightgirl
    Now here's another question to throw into the mix. What about those who go to med school? They do this all the time and no one really says anything. Is it a double standard for nurses?? Just playing devil's advocate....
    Most doctors I know brought their families with them.
    anotherone likes this.
  6. Visit  DutchRN09 profile page
    1
    Many residents end up divorced as well, there is an interesting documentary on PBS about this very thing.
    jtmarcy12 likes this.
  7. Visit  echoRNC711 profile page
    3
    I absolutely love nursing but let's take a reality check. It is a job not an identity. If you love your job/ future job more than being with your spouse then there was a whole lot more wrong with your marriage before this question came up.
    levzahav9, jtmarcy12, and Fiona59 like this.
  8. Visit  One1 profile page
    0
    Agreeing with all the "nos". Also, nursing school is hard as it is, leave alone having to take care of the kids as a "temporary single mom".
  9. Visit  studentnurse50 profile page
    4
    litebrightgirl:

    I was separated from my family for 6 months towards the end of my schooling. It's a long story, but to make it shorter, my spouse is military and got orders to move. We discussed it at length, prayed and made the decision for my spouse and children to move to the new duty station while I rented a room. The bottom line is even with a super supportive spouse and finances that allowed this, nursing school is extremely hard. If you, your children and husband have a great support network, that makes a difference. If not, seriously consider the impact of very hard days at clinical/classes and not having your spouse there for support. Also, CrunchRN has some valid points. Only you and your family can decide what is right for you.
    We made it through and are stronger for it-but not every family/relationship makes it through such a separation. Our two teenage children suffered quite a bit-I won't go into details other than to say one of my children was being beaten at school almost every day and I didn't know it because I spent 10-12 hours per day at school in classes and then studying in the library afterwards..... Unfortunately, this was the least of what happened in my absence. In hindsight, if I had known this was going to happen, I would have postponed my schooling until the kids graduated. Having said that, we were stationed on the opposite coast from where our families and friends live, so, we didn't have that support network. Anyway, blessings on making the choice that is right for YOU and YOUR family
    jtmarcy12, Dezy, not.done.yet, and 1 other like this.
  10. Visit  Crazed profile page
    2
    Nope. Moving the kids and then moving them back is a bad idea.
    jtmarcy12 and Fiona59 like this.
  11. Visit  mind_body_soul RN profile page
    2
    Nursing school in itself seems to cause marital issues even without the distance. My classmates and I all agree that our significant others "just don't get it", especially when it comes to the time commitment that nursing school requires. Other nursing students are the only ones who can understand your stress, exhaustion, messy house, seemingly random emotional breakdowns, the list goes on. My nursing program is considered "part time" credit hour wise, but its anything but! With classes, clinicals, studying, paperwork, etc I probably spend 8-12 hours a day on school, including weekends. That has put a ton of stress on my marriage. I have to remind myself and my husband when we are arguing that school is only temporary and we both have to make some sacrifices so that I can make it through. And, I am doing it for BOTH of us, not just myself.
    FecesOccurs and jtmarcy12 like this.
  12. Visit  SarcasticLVN profile page
    1
    I saw marriages and relationships break up during nursing school.. Thought my relationship was strong because my partner was supportive.. Well a week after graduation we broke up.. And I will honestly say the stresses and time nursing school takes is a big reason for our breakup. I say go for your dreams because even though I miss my ex I would not do it any other way cause I'm a nurse. As far as moving.. I think that's a decision the couple has to make.
    anotherone likes this.
  13. Visit  Spidey's mom profile page
    1
    I say no also. Family first.
    jtmarcy12 likes this.
  14. Visit  37 C profile page
    1
    Quote from litebrightgirl
    Now here's another question to throw into the mix. What about those who go to med school? They do this all the time and no one really says anything. Is it a double standard for nurses?? Just playing devil's advocate....
    Medical School leads to many divorces, even when the couple still lives together. They may do it all the time, but very often no good comes of it as far as their relationship is concerned.

    It might be better if both halves of the couple are in med school, so they both know what the deal is, and neither will (hopefully) be very demanding of the other. Still, with so much time spend not focusing on the relationship, it's difficult.

    Nursing school may be hard, but it ain't med school.
    anotherone likes this.


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