How should I go about going to job interviews having two little kids?

estrogen · Jul 4, 2005

Here is my response after reading everyone else's and it is a double edged sword taking your children to an interview.
I have had people call me and ask if they can bring their children to an interview for which I appreciated the call first. Having been a single parent for many years I know how that feels but I made the choice to be a single parent and wore that hat. I usually am pretty candid and have a conversation about day care issues when that person calls. I have had people bring their children who are trying to move forward in a good direction trying to lay a foundation for a better life for themselves and their children by finding a job. This can be a boon to an employer if that person is dedicated to you because you have given them a chance to work and meeting them in the middle by letting their children come with them. I have found this to be a common situation for home health aides who many times have less resources to pay for day care, a sitter or many times have no one else to help them until they get money coming in to pay for child care. That person can be thankful to you as an employer because it shows you are flexible as you ask your employee to be as flexible with you.
The double edged part is I have done this and found that hiring someone that brings their children to an interview, ends up in the same boat with no day car and cancels alot of work they accepted. That has a bad taste for the employer and they tend to not try that again. I would say 75% of the time it has worked out as an employer and 25% of the time it has not.
I usually have a box of items to keep kids busy at times like this. Puzzles, books, crayons etc and that works well and the single parent sees compassion by an employer that says they understand the difficulty of the situation the single parent is in.
I have done many home health aide inservices where children were present. I allow that if the children are well behaved and the topic is of a non-offensive nature. If the topic is offsensive or unsuitable for young ones I tell the parent that this month the topic is not appropriate for children to hear and other arrangements are made for that employee.
My goal is to hire a hard working, flexible, compentent caregiver.
I have seen nothing offensive about this thread at all.
I hope this assists you.
renerian

What a great post. Thank you so much for that. And thank you so much for being a understanding, wise, loyal, generous and broad minded manager. I wish I worked for you. :flowersfo

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Jul 4, 2005

I know it is very hard to split between having to be with your children and an interview. The only suggestion I have is to find a trusted friend/family to maybe watch you little ones for a short time. If that is not an option you can try daycare (there are some that charge by the hour) you might want to check into that.

I am sure you also understand that you cannot bring them to your interview no matter how well behaved they are. The interviewer will get the impression that you are not going to be able to be commited to your job or that you are going to constantly be out etc...

For everything there is a solution except for death. Ponder and you will find the answer :)

Good luck to you

KaroSnowQueen, RN · Jul 4, 2005

I feel for you. I have five children, stair-stepped in age (now 25,25,24,23,22) and it was hard to find daycare. But I felt that bringing that many little kids to an interview would make it hard for me in several ways, one that it would give the employer a bad first impression, second that they would act up and I couldn't give complete attention to my interview.

I don't have much advice that anyone else hasn't given, but I would find some way to work around this.

My DH is a hiring specialist and he would turn down anyone who brought kids to an interview just because it points to future problems with attendance, lack of daycare issues, etc. I know that may not be fair, but that's the way they train interviewers to assess the situation.

Maybe the odd hours interview would be best for you, it never hurts to try! I hope it works out for you.

estrogen · Jul 4, 2005

Well, thank you to JessicaGmz, KaroSnowQueen and all the others who had some understanding, supporting a practical advice, instead of fiercly and with animocity preaching something that I allready know (as stated on several occasions). To those, I'm sorry that I annoyed you with venting my frustrations... I know (as statetd on several occasions), that I can't afford to bring my kids to any interview (which doesn't make it right though, at least in my opinion) and I won't. I wish more people (nurses) were as tolerant, open minded and willing to understad the circumstances as renerian. The world would be a better place.

I put in my four week notice last night. Scared to death, but I did it... I know I will figure out a way, but it saddens me to think, that there might be a mom somewhere in a similar situation with less resources than me, who will not get off of wellfare this year, because of something as simple as this.

RainDreamer, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2005

You're welcome :)

I wish you all the best of luck!

renerian, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2005

Thanks for the compliment but I am not so great. I just try hard to be flexible. I have several excellent mentors that I learned alot from. That is health care.

Glad I could help.

renerian

lifesaverwv · Jul 4, 2005

In response to the post to Estrogen about not playing the "Mom Card". You said you were upset with nursing Mom's who needed to take "pump breaks" I'd much rather relieve someone who is trying to keep her baby healthy than to be working my butt off while people who smoke take excessive breaks. For some reason they can't go smoke without taking a buddy. Several of us non smokers have complained to administration that this goes on, but the biggest offender is the Co-ordinator of the unit so nothing is done!

I feel better now that I've vented :)

mstigerlily · Jul 5, 2005

When I started working 12 hr days (for orientation) my son was 11 months old and being gone from 5am-8pm, I needed to pump. But I rarely found time to pump more than once, usually with a sandwich in front of me unable to eat it! My son is older now (16 months) and we just nurse mostly morning and night now, and working nights is better. I don't know HOW these moms have time to pump 4-5 times a day!!! Most of us have a hard time even taking lunch sometimes.

I agree about the smoke breaks though - often you have to go waaaay downstairs and outside to do those, that kills a good 15 minutes.

Melissa

In response to the post to Estrogen about not playing the "Mom Card". You said you were upset with nursing Mom's who needed to take "pump breaks" I'd much rather relieve someone who is trying to keep her baby healthy than to be working my butt off while people who smoke take excessive breaks. For some reason they can't go smoke without taking a buddy. Several of us non smokers have complained to administration that this goes on, but the biggest offender is the Co-ordinator of the unit so nothing is done!
I feel better now that I've vented :)

TypicalFish · Jul 5, 2005

I would like to find a new job and there are plenty out there in the local newspaper, but I have no idea how to go about going to all the job interviews... I am currently working night shift, so I don't really have any day care for my 5 y.o. and my 11 month old except one day a week and that's when I absolutely need to sleep and not run around doing job interviews.
I can't take them with me, can I? I don't have any family close by to watch them either and my hubby is at work all day.
I need some serious advice. Any experiences?

You should never bring your kids to an interview; It's not discrimination, it is just something that is not proper business behavior for a woman or a man. I have three kids-I had them all in a 4-year span-so I know where you are coming from-but an interview is your ONLY first chance to prove to the company that you are going to be a positive addition to their company. If you can't come to an interview without bringing your kids, it would appear to the company that you are unable to plan, organize, trouble shoot-and even more importantly it would appear that you do not respect the interviewers time; I know that I am not articulating this well-but it is just the way it is-you have to be your best for an interview, you have to wholly committed to the interview, the interviewer and the job that you want-you can not do this with kids in tow.

Also, you need to realize that you are entering a female-dominated field, where childcare issues run rampant, where for every childcare issue you have,so do at least 100 other women-which is why employers have to be so careful about not allowing anyone special treatment for childcare issues-it causes a lot of resentment among co-workers. It would be a big red flag to an employer if you can't arrange childcare for a 2-3hour interview.

I am so not "flaming" you-I really support your efforts; I have been there and done that-I once didn't get a job that I really needed because my "friend" never showed up to watch my kids; I knew I was toast either way; cancelling or showing up with a 4yo, a 2yo and an infant, so I cancelled and was told to not bother rescheduling. But I kept trying and got another, better job. I never had family close by either, but I did network with other moms at my son's pre-school/kindergarten, as well as church. I also convinced dh to take one day off-it was an investment in our future-for a day I had an important interview. I was able to get two interviews in that day-one arly AM and another (after a pitstop home) in mid-afternoon. It's really hard to accomplish everything, but you can do it with some planning, and having Plan A AND Plan B, maybe even Plan C!