Unprofessional Nurse

  1. This is just me venting about my mother!!! She has been a nurse for over 30 years and most of it a contract nurse. Lately she has been taking these contracts (that in the agreement either can discontinue at any time) and she works them for a week or two and then quits!! I think it is very unprofessional of her, but her being my mother I can't really tell her that or she will freak out on me! She always has a new excuse too. Its either the weather was too hot or cold, the air was too thin there, the traffic was too bad, and lately she has a problem with the computer charting! She is also a compulsive spender and has no sort of retirement saved up. I don't foresee her working too much longer but I don't know what she is going to do because I am in no position to support her. I feel that it is of her own making that she has no money saved up. I can't wait til I am a nurse...
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  2. 24 Comments

  3. by   nessajune21
    Quote from Katy-NursingStudent
    I think it is very unprofessional of her, but her being my mother I can't really tell her that or she will freak out on me! .
    I would think that because you are her daughter that you would be in the best position to tell her what you think.
  4. by   Katy-NursingStudent
    No, We are not close and we never have been. I really think she has some sort of mental illness. My grandmother on her side was bipolar schizophrenic and I think she might have it too. I am in a position where if I said something to someone about it, there goes her lively hood.....
  5. by   TheCommuter
    Quote from Katy-NursingStudent
    I don't know what she is going to do because I am in no position to support her.
    You are an adult and, therefore, have no obligation to support her.

    My father is 52 years old and has absolutely no retirement savings. However, he does have a beautiful sports car, as well as over $20,000 in credit card debt. It was his choice to spend nearly $40,000 on a car that is losing value when he could have saved for the future. It was his choice to rake up $20,000 in debt with nothing to show for it. I should not have to pay for his financial mess, and I won't. I'm an adult with my own life.
  6. by   MoopleRN
    It sounds to me like you love her/care about her/are thinking about her future (and how involved you'll be in that). It also sounds to me like you're super-frustrated/afraid her financial burden is going to fall on your (can't support that weight) shoulders.

    The solution? I don't see from your OP that you have one. Do the best you can with the resources you've got and let the rest go. Easier said than done? Absolutely! I wish I had a magic wand for you.... lacking that, use this as an opportunity to be the kind of nurse you want to be. You say you can't wait til you're a nurse... let's say you already are. NOW what?
  7. by   Nurse Salt
    Quote from TheCommuter
    You are an adult and, therefore, have no obligation to support her.

    My father is 52 years old and has absolutely no retirement savings. However, he does have a beautiful sports car, as well as over $20,000 in credit card debt. It was his choice to spend nearly $40,000 on a car that is losing value when he could have saved for the future. It was his choice to rake up $20,000 in debt with nothing to show for it. I should not have to pay for his financial mess, and I won't. I'm an adult with my own life.
    I think we may be long lost siblings...
  8. by   morte
    be careful and do some research, there are some states that will come after the children if a parent ends up on the publics dime.....
  9. by   Lovely_RN
    I would like to know this information because I am not going to pay my parent's debts. I can barely afford my own!

    Quote from morte
    be careful and do some research, there are some states that will come after the children if a parent ends up on the publics dime.....
  10. by   RNsRWe
    Quote from morte
    be careful and do some research, there are some states that will come after the children if a parent ends up on the publics dime.....
    There are? If this is true, just let them try: I have no interest in paying for a lifestyle I didn't lead. Since I am not responsible for their adult choices, I'm sure not going to be paying for their choices. Media would love my story if any gov't type people EVER tried...
  11. by   Katy-NursingStudent
    Oh I was just saying that I can't wait to be a nurse because I know exactly what NOT to do with my money! Atleast one thing is for sure, even though she hasn't, I have definitely learned from her mistakes!!!
  12. by   morte
    Quote from RNsRWe
    There are? If this is true, just let them try: I have no interest in paying for a lifestyle I didn't lead. Since I am not responsible for their adult choices, I'm sure not going to be paying for their choices. Media would love my story if any gov't type people EVER tried...
    they would simplye put a lein on your property and garnish your wages....but remember this is for money owed the state not private debt
  13. by   DA314
    I don't think the government can come after you for your parents' expenses, just as they couldn't come after a parent for their adult child's expenses.

    However, when the parent passes away, I wouldn't expect to get anything. Any life insurance and assets will be first applied to creditors, then you get what is left over.
  14. by   TheCommuter
    Quote from DA314
    However, when the parent passes away, I wouldn't expect to get anything. Any life insurance and assets will be first applied to creditors, then you get what is left over.
    Also, if the parent(s) owned real estate at the time of death, probate court would ensure that any profits from the sale of the house (estate) would go toward paying any outstanding debts. Any heirs would be left with nothing.

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