Nurses Rock Toon
Published Nov 23, 2012
I know there are a lot of outrageous excuses from patients. Please share them!
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Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP
4 Articles; 5,259 Posts
I have seen lots of sexually transmitted cocaine, as well as lots of toilet-seat gonorrhea. Mmmmhmmm.
PMFB-RN, RN
5,351 Posts
Still one of my favorites is for all the teen age virgins who come up pregnant. I like the public swimming pool excuse the best but also good is the "I barrowed my friends undwear".
CapeCodMermaid, RN
6,090 Posts
"My girl friend MADE me do it" said the 6' 3" man with part of an aquarium hose sticking out of his......
ChristineN, BSN, RN
3,465 Posts
A patient who had just been told she was pregnant "So nurse just exactly how did this happen and how long have I been this way?" ummm.
queenjulie, RN
161 Posts
How about, "I don't do cocaine! My girlfriend was snorting it off our coffee table, and I slipped and fell, and my face landed in a pile of it." Seriously.
Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN
2,365 Posts
Remember the Seinfeld episode with gonorrhea transmitted via tractor? Hahaha!
I've told this one before, but my favorite excuse is a tie...
A man was walking around his kitchen nude, as you do, and plum forgot about the empty Grey Poupon bottle sitting on the chair. One emergent colostomy later...I wonder if he learned his lesson.
The other gentleman was sleeping well when awoken by a vibration in his belly. He immediately knew what had happened - his silly cousin had slipped a vibrator in there as a prank. So, naturally, he had to get that thing out of there...using, what else...a fork! He actually didn't need a colostomy, just an ex lap.
I miss being an inner city surgical nurse. Really, and truly I do. :)
Lizzily
6 Posts
I love the one where she puts the blame on her friend, I got pregnant because "I borrowed my friends underwear". Teens say the stupidest thing to get out of trouble and they believe what they say justifies their actions, yet they still believe they know it all.
ComeTogether, LPN
1 Article; 2,182 Posts
I'm trying to stop smoking pot so I don't lose my kid. ( in response to why he would smoke the synthetic garbage that has been made illegal in our state)
"No day but today"
LilgirlRN, ADN, RN
769 Posts
"I have no idea how that got in there!" Mr. Smith there seems to be a long serpentine necklace in your bladder.
RURN2O11
39 Posts
Psychotic patient (who happens to be a practicing MD) has been drinking water & juice all night long. At 0615, pt states "I can't take my morning pills. I have dry mouth syndrome so I can't talk right now or take any pills."
kitty22
10 Posts
Dont prick me, dont have veins -
T-Bird78
1,007 Posts
Remember the Seinfeld episode with gonorrhea transmitted via tractor? Hahaha!The other gentleman was sleeping well when awoken by a vibration in his belly. He immediately knew what had happened - his silly cousin had slipped a vibrator in there as a prank. So, naturally, he had to get that thing out of there...using, what else...a fork! He actually didn't need a colostomy, just an ex lap.I miss being an inner city surgical nurse. Really, and truly I do. :)
Um, the words "cousin" and "slipped a vibrator" do NOT belong in the same sentence!!! And, in the belly? Really?