First of all, I was so anxious to write a response that I didn't even read through all of the posts. OHHH Girlfriend,, i do have a lot to say here.
You love him, right? How long have you been married?
Right now, you really need someone by your side that will support you. He needs to support you emotionally, physically and financially. You do NOT need a man who will drain the life out of you.. you are already vulnerable to losing everything. You are working hard to keep your head above water and he is the tow underneath, getting stronger, trying to pull you down. I'm sure he's not doing it purposefully, but he is doing it nonetheless. He needs to know this. He needs to know that your sobriety depends partly on him being the man that you need him to be right now.
At this point in your life, you are trying to recover. You've saved your life, but yet it hasn't been long enough for you to be able to save his too. He needs to be strong for himself and for you. Until you build up the strength and are on dry land, you're not strong enough to drag him out of the water. You'll be sucked down with him.
If you two love each other, you will find a way to work all of this out. But if you don't have enough love there, it might be best for you to go it alone, at this point. But only you can know what is best for you. If at some point you feel that it is too much to handle, ... don't ever EVER use drugs or drink. That will not solve your problem and I think you already know that. But if it gets worse, it may get to a point to where you lose control over your recovery.... don't let that happen, don't let yourself get to that point.
In my opinion, you did the right thing by posting here, in this forum. You were right because other people may not understand the toll it is taking on you as a recovering addict. Stay strong,, and ask for help if you need it,, we're all here and we want to help you if you need us...
We might all have advice on what you should do, but you have to decide on your own what you will do or how you will cope with everything.