Help here - page 2

I am not in the medical field so be patient with any miss use of terminology. I am here because I have an issue with my wife who is a nurse. I am under the belief that she is diverting or taking meds from work. She is an... Read More

  1. 11
    Quote from carrimarie1010
    I don't like your statement "I hate to turn my wife in as that is a hard thing to do." Turn your wife in and I hope you are ready for divorce and I hope you are ready to lose her income all together. Do you realize that if she is diverting that felony charges could be filed against her? They were me....I was diverting wasted meds. Took me 2 years and several thousand dollars to get them dismissed. I once dated a guy who constantly threatened to "turn me into the board" it was after I was clean and had been clean for 2 years. Trust me, I got sick of it really fast. I will just tell you that saying those things makes you seem like a bully to me....not a concerned husband. I hope you are not discussing your wife and her possible diversion to RN's in meetings or your sister. They can anonymously turn her in without your knowledge or gossip with other nurses and ruin her. You are betraying her trust if you are doing that.

    You need to figure out how to talk to your wife. Your behavior is just sneaky. Going thru her lab coat, clearly a lot....and her bag, talking with people about her then threatening to "turn her in" is all wrong. As long as you are going at her the way you are she probably views you as a threat and as I stated before, a bully. You should be worried about her life. She can OD just like anyone else. The more you bully her and go thru her things the more you will push her away. Figure out another way to handle it.
    WOW!! Gonesilent13 comes here for some answers and guidance and you go all squirrel monkey on him. That was totally uncalled for. All I see from your reply is "Hide, Lie & Deny".

    I honestly do not find his "Behavior Sneaky". He is "Concerned" as he should be. He clearly stated he was in recovery himself, so I will go out on a limb here and say he know's the tricks of the game.

    Yes, he needs to figure out how to grab this issue NOW and try to get things moving forwards, before something that can't be fixed happens. But you totally come across the wrong way.

    If you carrimarie1010 are in recovery than you should know how important it is to talk about things and you should also know how the whole dependant/co-dependant things works. If his wife "IS" using how is this going to affect his recovery?

    Personal I would rather see him reach out for help and get it, than his children becoming wards of the state because Mommy & Daddy relaped and both died.
    #NurseB, BCgradnurse, uRNmyway, and 8 others like this.

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  2. 6
    Quote from TXRN2
    GoneSilent: it makes sense to me. and, no-she should have empty or partly empty vials & used sharps in her pockets or bag. might happen on occasion, but not very often. i can only imagine how difficult it is being on "the other side" of this issue. you are in a difficult situation. if you confront her, she will probably lie- i know i did until absolutely backed into a corner- & that was by my employer- so i knew i had been caught. i don't, however, know what you should do- maybe some of the others here can give some advice on that. it would be most beneficial if she could get help without having to alert the board of nursing- but it is imperative that she get help before she harms herself, her children, or a patient. good luck- please keep us posted.
    Sorry, But his wife should NEVER have used needles, empty or partly empty vials in her pocket, bag or purse.

    I have been so slammed at work that I have tossed things into my pocket, but I have never tossed a used needle in my pocket. That is just plain asking for trouble. As for the vials, I have always made sure before I clocked out I would check my pockets. One would be suprised how many times I found a note in there and needed to write a patient care note or let someone know something.
    BCgradnurse, poppycat, sharpeimom, and 3 others like this.
  3. 1
    I once came home with a stool softener a patient had refused in my pocket. It shook me up.... No narcotic pain meds nor needles should be found in the pocket of your wife!
    BCgradnurse likes this.
  4. 1
    I once made it halfway home with the set of PCA pump keys in my pockets. Totally forgot to return them to the pyxis. I'd verified PCA settings with a coworker on one of my patients PCA (new syringe) and checked on my other patients (still asleep but breathing ) one last time prior to report time, charted my 6A rounding on my patients and logged off the computer I was using. Followed very shortly by one of my coworkers rapid responsed one of their patients, a situation which went downhill quickly. Nothing like ending a shift with a code, helping to document that and transporting a patient to ICU... Followed by report. Luckily my day shift relief had had the same group of patients the previous day (she only wanted changes/updates not a full report). That would be the THE day I hadn't checked my pockets prior to leaving! Incredibly thankful it was only the PCA keys that had hitched a ride in my pockets leaving work.

    I would agree with should definitely not be happening frequently. I know coworkers and former classmates who accidentally left work without wasting some of a narcotic or benzo, but returned to work, wasted the remainder with a coworker and moved on. Usually something crazy happened at the end of their shift to get them off track from wasting (generally a code or something like that). I don't put used needles in my pockets or personal belongings. I have no reason to put any needles in my pockets either... I know where I used to work, they ran audits of times medications were pulled from the pyxis and what times they were scanned at bedside for administration as well as the time for any documented wasting of medications.

    I would agree with others, it certainly sounds like your wife (original poster's) needs help. I don't know the best way to go about this though. I know the states I have been licensed in, the general public or family could report an issue or concern to the BON... But the BON in every state I've worked in takes narcotic diversion very seriously, as they should (they'd withdraw a licensee's right to practice until the investigation was completed). I don't know what would happen to speak to someone at her place of employment (manager, etc). I've seen these things cost nurses jobs and/or their license or restrictions... BUT, on the other hand that price is far less than someone else getting hurt because of a staff member's diversion. Particularly for the patients she'd care for and/or your family original poster. It certainly sounds like denial is an issue. I think you're certainly right to take it seriously.
    poppycat likes this.
  5. 0
    I have accidentally left insulin needles in my pockets, but they were still in the original packaging... there isn't any acceptable reason that a "used" needle should make it home with a nurse. Those go straight into sharps, not in your pockets under any circumstance (that I can imagine).
    As a student, I almost left the hospital once with a "refused" vicodin in my pocket. Thankfully I caught myself and promptly returned it to the Omnicell.
    A partially empty narc bottle/vial should never make it home with a nurse. As stated before, partially used narcs must be "wasted" and witnessed by another RN.
    I guess I could see how a completely empty bottle/vial could get left in your pocket, but as soon as the nurse discovers it it should go straight from pocket to trash... not into her/his bag or purse.... that is fishy.
    I am a new nurse and still working on my time management and organization skills, so I am probably a bit more sympathetic to things being left in one's pockets on accident.
  6. 3
    Also, at my hospital, Pharmacy is really on top of the usage and disposal of narcotics. If your wife's hospital is as watchful as mine, it is just a matter of time before she gets caught.
    Last edit by Callahan, RN on Mar 24, '13 : Reason: typo
    poppycat, Marshall1, and catmom1 like this.
  7. 0
    Thanks for all the helpful information. Denial has been the game for a long time. I wish she'd just go into a facility for 30 days and try and get right. Her fear of asking for help is that other nurses will know and talk bad about her. I had the same feeling for a long time as well. For me I just go to the point that I was miserable enough to not care. She was le go from her last job as a nurse manager. She always told me it was managment related Issues. Im begining to wonder if it wasnt somehing else. She's been a nurse for 12 years. She knows what's right by now. If I find another vial from her I'm turning it in myself. I should have snapped a pic of the other ones. I know I can't force he to get help but I am greatful for hearing how it's supposed to be done. She's very ****** right now about me asking. My response was not wrong being her track record, my deliver however may not have been on point.
  8. 0
    On so many levels and from so many view points this situation is scary, unstable and is not going to end well. I hope, before she or anyone she is taking care of, driving around or in close proximity to is hurt or killed she gets help.
  9. 0
    If she is involved in an accident on her way home from work, there will be consequences with such questionable 'items of substances' in her possession. There is no way to explain an open vial or used needle in your pocket. Patients's rooms have sharps containers in them. It would be especially difficult for a recovering person to explain this as so many people believe that once found guilty at any point, you will always remain as the number one suspect forevermore, guilty or not. So, I would suggest having her take the offensive approach with her employer rather than wait until she's placed on the defensive side.

    But on a more assuring note, hypodermic needles are in plentiful supply on nursing units and don't have to be signed out. So, I'm sure she's not using a needle that was used on anyone else. We all put unopened syringes in our pockets and carry them to patients rooms for different injections and I dare say no one walks out of the room with the used syringes.

    I wish you well in your struggles. I worked in detox for 7 years as supervisor and I remember all too well the frustrations that families had to go through.
  10. 1
    I agree with the above posts. There is no reason a needle would be in ones pocket even in an emergency situation it would likely end up on the floor. I just hope she isn't using and driving your kids around. Now that you have explained more... I understand your concern. I wish you could rationalize with her without having to turn her in but we all know how rational an actively using person is. I do wish you the best and will keep you all in my prayers.
    catmom1 likes this.

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