all_over_again

I've been clean for about 12 years now and have been thinking about getting my license reinstated. This is really discouraging. I don't want to risk getting a deadly disease in order to make a living taking care of people with said disease. I should have known better. I'm not making much money, but I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I don't go to work wishing I'd die. Thank you for your post. I'm back to reality.

I was in a contract with HPRP. After 5 years of sobriety and a contractor turn-over, they wanted me to go through IOP. I couldn't afford it, so I left nursing. I'm sober and happy. I work at a law firm that defends insurance companies against injury "victims". I am respected by my coworkers, I don't have to worry about working around opiates (my drugs of no choice), and I don't have to be embarrassed or humiliated by group meetings or supervisor reports. The repercussions of dropping out are losing your license to practice nursing in the state of Michigan and every other state in the union. Do what you have to do, but be prepared for some serious backlash.

Hats off to you! It is SO hard but so worthwhile.

So many people could be saved from this disease if it weren't for the weird way some facilities do wastes. In one hospital, the waste had to be recorded at the Pyxis when the med was taken out even though there wasn't any place to waste it. In another, the waste was done after the dose was administered. Some nurses have replaced the missing med with water or saline after using the drug themselves. An empty vial would be cause for concern, but isn't proof positive that your wife is diverting. However, the used syringe and wipe makes it clear in my mind that she used the med herself. No one has to know. You can insist that she get help and use some FMLA time. If that doesn't work, then you can resort to more drastic measures. Some people are able to recover more easily than others. Make no mistake, though: If she doesn't get help, she will die. I nearly did. Good luck. A_O_A

I left nursing. I couldn't bring myself to put up with the terms of my monitoring agreement, knowing that getting a job would be next to impossible once I completed it. I work in a law firm now. I make about a third less money but there's very little stress and it's an opiate-free environment. Win-win. I'm been off of opiates for six years now. I don't know if that would have been the case if I had gone back to bedside nursing. Plus, I still get to use my education and experience in nursing for the personal injury cases.

You aren't crazy. Your rights are being violated. Many courts have found this to be the case. I think it's only a matter of time until SCOTUS will take it on. In the mean time, it wouldn't hurt to send anonymous letters to the ACLU et al. It may not help in the short term, but it may pave the way for a less punitive course of "treatment" for other nurses with dependency issues. But seriously, go to the meetings for now. You might be doing the right thing if you complain, but you won't be doing yourself any favors career wise.

They set the cut-offs sufficiently high to prevent false positives. As far as whether they test for etg, are you willing to find out the hard way? Unfair as it may seem now, you either play by the rules or you don't keep your license.

HPRP is a career killer. There's no silver lining. They aren't there to help. Honestly, I think they exist solely to prevent nurses from being nurses. Do not be honest and do not throw yourself at the mercy of the board. If you can afford an attorney, get one and let him or her do your talking for you. You will NOT get a fair shake unless you do. Even then, you're on shaky ground. Having written that, assuming that you are going to bust your behind for a job, the only advice I can give is to play along. If they say jump, you say "How high?". Go to every meeting you can. Find Jesus. Try to stay off the RADAR. Save your money, because at some point, they are going to find a way to gouge you. I don't play well with others so I work in a law firm now. Good luck to you! AOA

When I was practicing, I was told that if a nurse fails to report a DUI, s/he may find himself in a great deal of trouble. As DUI is a criminal charge, I would consider consulting an attorney. It's better to be proactive while you still have a license and you presumably can afford counsel. I would get into some kind of treatment ASAP, even if you don't feel like you are an alcoholic. It's much harder to be objective about your own condition than you might think. It is optimal to stay as far away from a board mandated recovery program as you possibly can.

I'm glad you are comforted by caring for dying people. I must be weird like that.

I'm glad that it worked out for you. My first job was in hospite respite care and oncology and I think I suffered something akin to PTSD as a result. I know we're all headed there, and I am grateful that there are people who are able to be supportive to patients and families who are dealing with the anticipated loss. I think I would have done better in community health nursing but its water under the bridge now. I'm doing medical records reviews for law firms and its a good fit so far. Good luck to you anyway. I don't go out of my way to be abrasive. I'm just a "glass half empty" person and I work really hard to avoid the stressors that drove me over the edge 5 years ago. I'd do whatever I could to spare someone else the same misery. Besides, for people who have struggled with addiction, hospice care could bring on a "kid in a candy store" effect. No thanks! Regards.

Sorry that you want a pat on the back. The truth is difficult and ugly.So be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. I prefer to fight with my eyes open .Regards.

It is a covered disability if the nurse self reports before being caught being sick. Kind of ironic. You have to report that you have a disease before you've fallen so far down the rabbit hole of addiction that you don't know your orifice from a hole in the ground.

Hospice for someone struggling with depression and anxiety? I don't think so.

But I should add that I am seriously underemployed! Not a perfect life, but not beholden to some dumbass socialworker with issues. LOL.