all_over_again

I've been clean for about 12 years now and have been thinking about getting my license reinstated. This is really discouraging. I don't want to risk getting a deadly disease in order to make a living taking care of people with said disease. I should have known better. I'm not making much money, but I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I don't go to work wishing I'd die. Thank you for your post. I'm back to reality.

I was in a contract with HPRP. After 5 years of sobriety and a contractor turn-over, they wanted me to go through IOP. I couldn't afford it, so I left nursing. I'm sober and happy. I work at a law firm that defends insurance companies against injury "victims". I am respected by my coworkers, I don't have to worry about working around opiates (my drugs of no choice), and I don't have to be embarrassed or humiliated by group meetings or supervisor reports. The repercussions of dropping out are losing your license to practice nursing in the state of Michigan and every other state in the union. Do what you have to do, but be prepared for some serious backlash.

Hats off to you! It is SO hard but so worthwhile.

So many people could be saved from this disease if it weren't for the weird way some facilities do wastes. In one hospital, the waste had to be recorded at the Pyxis when the med was taken out even though there wasn't any place to waste it. In another, the waste was done after the dose was administered. Some nurses have replaced the missing med with water or saline after using the drug themselves. An empty vial would be cause for concern, but isn't proof positive that your wife is diverting. However, the used syringe and wipe makes it clear in my mind that she used the med herself. No one has to know. You can insist that she get help and use some FMLA time. If that doesn't work, then you can resort to more drastic measures. Some people are able to recover more easily than others. Make no mistake, though: If she doesn't get help, she will die. I nearly did. Good luck. A_O_A

I left nursing. I couldn't bring myself to put up with the terms of my monitoring agreement, knowing that getting a job would be next to impossible once I completed it. I work in a law firm now. I make about a third less money but there's very little stress and it's an opiate-free environment. Win-win. I'm been off of opiates for six years now. I don't know if that would have been the case if I had gone back to bedside nursing. Plus, I still get to use my education and experience in nursing for the personal injury cases.

You aren't crazy. Your rights are being violated. Many courts have found this to be the case. I think it's only a matter of time until SCOTUS will take it on. In the mean time, it wouldn't hurt to send anonymous letters to the ACLU et al. It may not help in the short term, but it may pave the way for a less punitive course of "treatment" for other nurses with dependency issues. But seriously, go to the meetings for now. You might be doing the right thing if you complain, but you won't be doing yourself any favors career wise.

They set the cut-offs sufficiently high to prevent false positives. As far as whether they test for etg, are you willing to find out the hard way? Unfair as it may seem now, you either play by the rules or you don't keep your license.

HPRP is a career killer. There's no silver lining. They aren't there to help. Honestly, I think they exist solely to prevent nurses from being nurses. Do not be honest and do not throw yourself at the mercy of the board. If you can afford an attorney, get one and let him or her do your talking for you. You will NOT get a fair shake unless you do. Even then, you're on shaky ground. Having written that, assuming that you are going to bust your behind for a job, the only advice I can give is to play along. If they say jump, you say "How high?". Go to every meeting you can. Find Jesus. Try to stay off the RADAR. Save your money, because at some point, they are going to find a way to gouge you. I don't play well with others so I work in a law firm now. Good luck to you! AOA

When I was practicing, I was told that if a nurse fails to report a DUI, s/he may find himself in a great deal of trouble. As DUI is a criminal charge, I would consider consulting an attorney. It's better to be proactive while you still have a license and you presumably can afford counsel. I would get into some kind of treatment ASAP, even if you don't feel like you are an alcoholic. It's much harder to be objective about your own condition than you might think. It is optimal to stay as far away from a board mandated recovery program as you possibly can.

I'm glad you are comforted by caring for dying people. I must be weird like that.

I'm glad that it worked out for you. My first job was in hospite respite care and oncology and I think I suffered something akin to PTSD as a result. I know we're all headed there, and I am grateful that there are people who are able to be supportive to patients and families who are dealing with the anticipated loss. I think I would have done better in community health nursing but its water under the bridge now. I'm doing medical records reviews for law firms and its a good fit so far. Good luck to you anyway. I don't go out of my way to be abrasive. I'm just a "glass half empty" person and I work really hard to avoid the stressors that drove me over the edge 5 years ago. I'd do whatever I could to spare someone else the same misery. Besides, for people who have struggled with addiction, hospice care could bring on a "kid in a candy store" effect. No thanks! Regards.

Sorry that you want a pat on the back. The truth is difficult and ugly.So be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. I prefer to fight with my eyes open .Regards.

It is a covered disability if the nurse self reports before being caught being sick. Kind of ironic. You have to report that you have a disease before you've fallen so far down the rabbit hole of addiction that you don't know your orifice from a hole in the ground.

Hospice for someone struggling with depression and anxiety? I don't think so.

But I should add that I am seriously underemployed! Not a perfect life, but not beholden to some dumbass socialworker with issues. LOL.

Jack, I'm soooo glad that you still care even though there is $ to be made from others' misery. Kudos to you. All I've ever wanted is to help without being traumatized myself. If the world were perfect, I would expect a competent person to make a case for my reinstatement without an exorbitant fee. Not gonna happen. Sober and healthy without BON help, AOA

I guess it's an "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" strategy. And I agree with you 100% that your outcome is likely to be more favorable if you have an attorney. The entire process is fundamentally unfair. When you're sick, you should get a doctor and get well. You shouldn't have to have a lawyer.

Attorney blah blah blah attorney... Yeah. We all know we need one but when we're working for 10 bucks an hour, it seems slightly less feasable. First off, attorneys are expensive. Mine wanted over $3000 for a retainer and then an exorbitant hourly fee. Job propects are super slim once you have an "issue". Secondly, having been involved with Michigan's program, I am so jaded since I have spent thousands on more education because it is a better financial investment than HPRP and countless recovery programs. Michigan's program has turned off more than a few good nurses and until there is federal reform, they will get away with more abuses. There's money to be made from our misery. I am about to graduate with a poli sci degree and a nursing degree and I'm headed to law school because I cannot fathom the breadth and depth of the discrimination that the individual state boards are allowed to get away with. I know this probably wasn't helpful but at least you have another perspective on the misery you are headed for. Namaste. All_Over_Again

Don't feel bad if you have to give up. There are many people who aren't nurses and they're perfectly happy. My feeling as of late is if they don't want me, I can do without them. I got one degree with no problem. I can get another (and I am doing that now) with no issues. If you always want to deal with stigma and discrimination in order to be a nurse, go for it! I admire you. If you are tired of the bureaucracy and can't cope with the red tape, don't feel bad. You have options. Stay clean and sober for yourself and your family and you will find your way. I am five years clean and working on another degree. I was so unhappy as a nurse that I had to be stoned on opiates to go to work everyday, so there was something really wrong with that whole scenario. I can help people in so may other ways and I have come to peace with it now. Dtermine your priorities, set your goals, and work your behind off to accomplish them. A Nursing career can provide you and your family with a good life, but there are other routes to happiness. Don't give up if this career is really what your want, but be realistic and spend time thinking about what is best for your heart and soul. All the positive vibes I can send to another person!!! All Over Again Rebel Without a Clue and a $10 an hour job

I cannot offer legal advice. What I can offer is reassurance that no one has requested unlimited access to my medical records. Ever. I have been a nurse since 2004. Nursing is a job, just like any other. Don't fool yourself and think you're special... You aren't. There as just as many people who want to be policemen and bus drivers et al who don't have sterling background histories but still want honest work. That is the American way. Although we are not all perfect, we still have a great deal to offer to American society. If one employer doesn't take you, another one will. Take that and run, Forrest! Run Forrest, run!

AA and/or NA are for those who don't want to think really hard about the evolutionary and genetic aspects of addiction. If you are religious and want to be subjected to addicts whose only outlet is addiction to Jesus, then by all means, join a program. If you don't buy into their higher power business, then they will assume something is wrong with you. They will argue, "But my higher power is a door knob, or g.o.d. (good orderly direction)", but ultimately, the program is based on a protestant interpretation of a supreme being, and not all of us can go there. You can argue, "But I only peed on some bushes!" Too bad. There is too much money to be made off of your so-called recovery. You are screwed. Find another career field or prepare for a financial ******. Make some money and find an atheist attorney who is ready to clean house with these BON morons. Regards, AOA aka DG

Find an attorney. In my humble opinion, the first physician you visited had no business releasing personal health information without your approval. Yes, his lack of confidentiality may have saved your life, but it may have also **** your career. There may have been a better way to get you sober without screwing you in the... (well, you know...) For some of us, our whole identity centers around our work. Good luck anyway.

I would first find an attorney and sue "John Doe" for defamation of character if I hadn't really smacked someone while applying lotion to his orifice. If you have been fired, then someone has a name somewhere and a subpoena will fish it out. Lawyers suck, but sometimes its the best you can do. Nursing ruins lives. Good luck.

This is one example of the many circumstances that keep me from putting my heart and soul back into a nursing career. Look into accounting. The hateful old crones who hold the keys to the nursing kingdom will smite you viciously.

Congrats to you for having such a resiliant spirit. I guess that nursing is in your heart, but don't be discouraged if the hateful old crones don't let you into the kingdom. There are other things that you can do with your education that won't leave you at the mercy of the uneducated and unempathetic. Keep on keepin' on. There is life after a bout with your BON.