Published Oct 8, 2010
all_over_again
114 Posts
After 3 and 1/2 years of sobriety, I decided to apply to have my license reinstated. I had a six month suspension. I thought I was way beyond the guilt/shame thing, but the denial letter brought it all back. "The nature of the conduct that led to your suspension... blah, blah, you skanky addict, blah, blah..." Okay. It didn't really read that way, but it might as well have. On the bright side, I'll get a hearing but I'm afraid it will be lots of money spent just to hear what a worthless clump of organic material I am.
I've served my sentence. I'm sober, generally happy, and gainfully employed. I am a mother of four healthy happy people and a wife to a grumpy, tired person. When do I get to be treated like an educated professional instead of a junkie reprobate?
LisaB19
40 Posts
All I can say is I'm so sorry. What state was this in??
SWS RN, ASN, RN
362 Posts
Dear all...
First things first...3.5 years of sobriety!!!!! That alone is a WONDERFUL feat.
For what it's worth, I don't know what state you are in, but in June, I had to go before the BON in Florida.
It was nerve wracking...but worked out ok.
I was there for about six hours and heard everything you could think of...the good news was, many, many people who had been suspended got reinstated.
I was not there to ask for reinstatement...it was another matter, closely related, and I was there to beg that they not take my license (over something that happened 9 years ago in another state)...they didn't...:) and I have to say, I did not at any time feel like they were looking down at me....I know that is hard to believe, but true.
I was honest and earnest....and they were fair.
SO, go ahead and appear...DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL ANY SHAME...
it's over...you are WINNING....for 3 and 1/2 years.
I think that they actually appreciate that .
THe people who did not fair so well, were the one's with excuses and who tried to BS their way through it. The BON saw right through that.
So....GOOD LUCK...let me know where you are and when you have to appear.
GO for it, it will be ok.
s
It is Michigan I am working with. I guess my next call will be to HPRP to see if they will let me in before my hearing. My license has lapsed so I won't be high priority if money is tight there.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Addiction is far easier to get under control than life-long self esteem issues. I really needed to vent. My family just doesn't understand why this is so hard. I'm nervous and cranky with everyone and things were going okay until I started thinking about nursing again. I lie in bed every night and wonder if the career is just wrong for someone like me.
Regards, A_O_A
lifeistweet
98 Posts
I'm from Michigan also and had to go before the board. I had a six month suspension that they extended to 1.5 years for hearings and delays. Then it has taken me a year to find a job. The board does not care about all that, that is part of their program. Be honest and tell them every little thing you have done to support our recovery, including your current job, etc. You can self report to the HPRP and start keeping records of your meeting attendance, calls to your sponsor, etc. and if you have sponsees. You may have a narc restriction for the first 6 months, but it may be better for you not to work around narcs anyway. I had an attorney, but I have a friend who went on her own and did fine. She was super organized and had everything written down and documented. If you can get an attorney I would suggest it. The board can be very rough especially if they feel they have the upper hand, which they definately do if you don't have an attorney. Focus on your sobriety. Good luck, it takes time but it can be done. Lifeistweet
llltapp
121 Posts
"All over again"
First of all, I LOVE your sense of humor and I am sitting hear literally laughing out loud "you skanky addict" lol. I know exactly how you feel. Trust me when I tell you, nothing can eat away at years of solid recovery and improved self esteem than to have to "revisit" your past in front of the BON. However, talk to supportive people, keep positive self talk going, ignore yourself when you start feeling like a lowlife lol. You are NOT. There are plenty of doctors, nurses, dentists, psychiatrists out there whose stories would probably put your to shame lol. You are not a criminal. You are a recovering person. Be honest and humble in front of the board and you will GO FAR. And, don't forget to smile at them :).
RNOTODAY, BSN, RN
1,116 Posts
I'm reading posts in this section, for hours now, and I've made a decision..... I am addicted to opiates, prescribed, never ever diverted, zero complaints of my work and my behavior was NEVER questioned. But, I know it's time I stop taking them. However , the conclusion I have come to is this: I will taper, cold turkey, whatever it takes , to get myself off of them , but I'll never EVER tell a single healthcare professional about it!! I'll never let ANY medical record even mention the word " addicted" .. It's simply way way too much, I'm not a danger to anybody, I don't and never would divert, I don't take them @ work. So, I'll do what it takes to make sure I have NO dealings with the BON whatsoever ... it's just not worth it.. that my decision, anyway...and I've been on them well over 7 years.... nope... no way am I dealing with the BON... besides... after all these years ? Then" buzz" or " impairment " is far, far, gone...