1. I am in deep trouble> I have been using again for the last two years. I keep meaning to go back to meeting and not pick up anymore but it never happens. It seems that when I get to work I have no control over keeping the **** out of my veins.
    When I am home I do not use anything. I know how this is gonna end if I do not stop again. I have had 10 yrs clean and 4 years and now I am in this again and cannot seem to stop.
  2. Visit pegleg2000 profile page

    About pegleg2000

    Joined: May '08; Posts: 7; Likes: 3
    Emergency Room


  3. by   TazziRN
    Pick up the phone right now and call your local NA or AA chapter. Have them send someone to take you to a meeting.
  4. by   aloevera
    the fact that you know you have a problem and WANT TO STOP...
    That is a big plus on your side...1/2 of you battle is won,,Please call someone in your area or go to a detox do not want to do this to youself....if you need to talk, we are here to surely do not want to hurt anyone at work while you are "high", you need to get help immediatly !!!!!
  5. by   pegleg2000
    I told my wife last night and am going to a meeting this morning. I have got to stop before I lose everything. Working on 4 days clean now.
  6. by   aloevera
    that is wonderful........keep with the meetings and remember
    ONE DAY AT A so very proud of have much to look forward to and can do it !!!!!!!

    Let us know how you are doing.........
  7. by   Silverdragon102
    One day at a time and although slow and painful at times with determination you will get there. Good luck
  8. by   pegleg2000
    Well I went to a meeting this morning. It was hard and I am feeling alot of anxiety right now about going back to work and will start to take naltrexone again. It has helped me in the past. Please pray for me and my family.
  9. by   aloevera
    I am praying for you and your are so lucky to have a family to support you, keep them in mind........
    Good Luck, God Bless you, You can do it.....
  10. by   Tweety
    One day at a time. This is bigger than you and you can't do it alone. Keep in touch.
  11. by   Dixiecup
    AT the risk of repeating myself, how can you do even one day at a time if you are hurting and in pain?

    Do you just suffer with the pain, then at the end of the day say, well, I've made it through one more day but I hurt like hell and probably can't even get out of bed tomorrow.

    Believe me I have tried this on numerous occasions and when the pain is just too much, I just don't make it through that day. I literally can't function.

    NO matter how good of intentions I have, when my body starts to hurt, it consumes me. I can't concentrate on anything but the pain. I can't get anything done, I'm in a bad mood with my family and at work. I just can't wait until the moment I can lay down to soothe the pain some (that's my main priority all day while I'm not using) just to get done what I have to get done so I can lay down and not move and maybe I won't hurt.

    What kind of a life is that?

    Yes, I've made it through another day, but what was the quality of that day. The days will not get better as time goes on because the pain will not get better as time goes on.

    I wish there was just a miracle or something to make the pain go away and I would be normal and happy and able to do things like normal people do.

    To top it all off, I have recently (well, I've felt it coming on for a while)began to get severe arthritis in my hands. I can barely tie my shoes or open a can of corn without severe pain. And writing kills my fingers. But I have as yet not taken anything for these knew aches and pains but added to everything else, they will soon bring me down even further. I try to ignore the arthritis stuff and pretend it's not really there, it's just in my head but I know it is, IT HURTS!

    It is so discouraging. When I take the pain medicine, I am fairly normal and can do my job and have a little happy outlook but when I try to force myself to go a day without them it's a living hell. (not withdrawl, just being in pain because I haven't taken my meds.)

    Sorry I'm rambling here but I just would like to know if there's a solution to this vicious cycle. Any advice or opinions out there?
  12. by   pegleg2000
    I am back to meetings and have not used since I first posted here. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. I had to start somewhere and get honest and I am grateful that it was here.
  13. by   Tweety
    That's so awesome to here!!! Congratulations.
  14. by   sissiesmama
    Quote from gimpbob1
    I am back to meetings and have not used since I first posted here. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. I had to start somewhere and get honest and I am grateful that it was here.
    Hey - congrats on your not picking up and going to a meeting. It is hard, my husband and I are both RNs and have been in recovery for 7 years. Keep going back to meetings and keep coming back here. You can find some great support in the recovery site here. Taz, Cat, Tweety and the others are great! You will stay in our prayers.