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I am in deep trouble> I have been using again for the last two years. I keep meaning to go back to meeting and not pick up anymore but it never happens. It seems that when I get to work I have no control over keeping the **** out of my veins.

When I am home I do not use anything. I know how this is gonna end if I do not stop again. I have had 10 yrs clean and 4 years and now I am in this again and cannot seem to stop.:banghead:

Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
I am back to meetings and have not used since I first posted here. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. I had to start somewhere and get honest and I am grateful that it was here.

Hey - congrats on your not picking up and going to a meeting. It is hard, my husband and I are both RNs and have been in recovery for 7 years. Keep going back to meetings and keep coming back here. You can find some great support in the recovery site here. Taz, Cat, Tweety and the others are great! You will stay in our prayers.

Anne:nuke:

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I am also thinking of changing jobs. Right now I work in a ER and am taking my naltrexone. The problem is I have a disability (LBKA) that most employers when interviewing me would not know if I did not tell them. The job I have now I did not tell them in the interview about it. But they were surprised when they found out.Thinking of taking a travelers position since most of the local hospitals do not seem interested in hiring me. I know that legally they could never say it is because of my disability.

I know the most important thing is to stay clean.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

Hey gimpbob1 - just wanted you to know we were thinking about you and praying for you. Let us know how you're doing. Keep going to your meetings.

Anne

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Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.

gimpbob1-----congrats!!!! You are doing wonderful, and with all the stress of working in the ER, too......You can be so proud of yourself....

Hang in there, remember One day at a time......you will make it....

Good luck on finding a new position.......what is LBKA?

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LBKA is left below the knee amputation.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

Hey gimpbob - wadn't heard from you in a while and just wanted to check on you. Please know you are NOT in this alone. Okease feel free to vent or pm me id you need it. PLEASE know you are NOT alone fighting this!!!

Anne, RNC God bless!!:paw::paw::paw::saint:

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Specializes in telemetry, med-surg, home health, psych.

Yes, ditto....hope all is well....I guess I have been in psych toooooooo

long......:no: Let us all know how U R !!

RNcPF :clown:

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Specializes in Trauma (rape), Sub. Abuse/Mental Health.

gimpbob,

prayers going up for you and your family. you know though that it takes far more that prayers to get clean and sober. we have to really want this, and i believe that at our cores, we all do. our loving god did not put us here to watch us suffer. i simply believe that he wants more for us.

however, the part that so many of us, certainly me, and me is the only person i can speak for--the part that i missed for so long was that i mistakenly thought that wanting sobriety was what i needed to do--my loving god would do the rest. boy was that wrong. after many near fatal attempts to cross the freeway with a blindfold on, i got the message that in addition to wanting health and sobriety, that i had to do the work as well. idle thought are just that. idle thoughts. faith without works is dead.

what a simple, yet elusive concept for me to understand. the day i finally got it though, was my first day of freedom. the few short intervals of clean time were only that clean time. no sobriety--no wonder i kept returning to the drink. once i put sobriety above all else, and got a taste of what true sobriety was, it got a little easier, one day at a time.

i heard in a meeting once, and this really resonated with me, (as so much in meeting does), everything i put in front of my sobriety, i will lose. this goes for my home, cars, job, children--all of it. without sobriety, i have nothing. with sobriety, i have everything. i have life.

wish these were my words, but someone much more profound uttered them, and they saved me from the etoh many times:

"when i joined the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous, i thought that god was going to open the gates of heaven and let me in. didn't happen. something much more wonderful did. he opened up the gates of hell and let me out."

again, my prayers are with you on this journey.

xoxo,

annie b.

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congratulations for getting to a meeting. Please keep reaching out, asking for help. One minute at a time if you need it

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Get into a rehab center. Now

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