After much thought, I have decided to send my license back. I will call the Executive Director on Monday and my case manager to see about future options, if I were to ever want to get my license back. But, when thinking about sending my license back, I have a weird sense of peace in my heart and body and relief that I won't be spending every dollar I make on drug screens and that I won't have to constantly be contacting the Boards. I think I did achieve my goal. I got my license and in getting my license, I learned such a valuable lesson that has really changed my outlook. I figured out where my interests lie. We need greater service, education, and advocacy when dealing with mental illness. I want to change the world or at least Virginia (and perhaps Tennessee).
Also, I knew I would want to disclose what I have eventually and now, I feel comfortable enough with myself that I can publicly say or type it. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes, I have my days where I am moody, but I am also a beautiful spirit. I am kind, motivated, open minded, and passionate. I deserve to go and fulfill my dreams and be happy in life.
I am thinking that I can start saving my money, go to grad school and get an MPH, do some advocacy and other work I am passionate about, and eventually maybe if I can get the public health experience and get my PhD, I can still one day work for the CDC or NIH/NIMH as an epidemiologist or some other role. There's still a lot of hope for me, maybe just not in nursing. Thanks for your friendships. I might still lurk, but something in my heart tells me just let it go.
[h=1]"If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."--Tupac Shakur[/h]
