Giving the license up

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After much thought, I have decided to send my license back. I will call the Executive Director on Monday and my case manager to see about future options, if I were to ever want to get my license back. But, when thinking about sending my license back, I have a weird sense of peace in my heart and body and relief that I won't be spending every dollar I make on drug screens and that I won't have to constantly be contacting the Boards. I think I did achieve my goal. I got my license and in getting my license, I learned such a valuable lesson that has really changed my outlook. I figured out where my interests lie. We need greater service, education, and advocacy when dealing with mental illness. I want to change the world or at least Virginia (and perhaps Tennessee).

Also, I knew I would want to disclose what I have eventually and now, I feel comfortable enough with myself that I can publicly say or type it. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Yes, I have my days where I am moody, but I am also a beautiful spirit. I am kind, motivated, open minded, and passionate. I deserve to go and fulfill my dreams and be happy in life.

I am thinking that I can start saving my money, go to grad school and get an MPH, do some advocacy and other work I am passionate about, and eventually maybe if I can get the public health experience and get my PhD, I can still one day work for the CDC or NIH/NIMH as an epidemiologist or some other role. There's still a lot of hope for me, maybe just not in nursing. Thanks for your friendships. I might still lurk, but something in my heart tells me just let it go.

[h=1]"If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."--Tupac Shakur[/h]

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Specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.

I suspect you won't be able to be licensed in any other capacity (e.g. as a social worker or counselor) if you have surrendered another license. I strongly recommend you check into that before you send your nursing license back.

Catmom :paw:

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I don't know, that's why I am going to find out the details first. I am exhausted. I don't want to move, but I feel like I am spending way too much time begging. I think it is sad because I disclosed and I was completely honest the whole time, I am not doing anything substance abuse wise now and amazing things are starting to happen for me. I changed but the Board doesn't care.

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I agree with CatMom. Please think carefully before giving up a professional license. It may be very, very difficult to ever work in a professional capacity again or in any helping field if you have surrendered a license.

I am not trying to discourage you, but it may create more barriers for you in the long run. Best of luck whatever you decide.

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I just feel like no one at the Board cares that I have changed. I have not drank in 7 months and 23 days. I haven't had an urges to lately either. I want to actually get my life back on track, but I get doors slammed in face and zero help. Instead of studying for the gre, so I can go to grad school next fall, I am contacting Boards all the time begging. Maybe I will wait until after I ask the Commissioner and see what he says. I need a job. I cannot keep working for little money only to save it to spend on a UDS. It sucks not to be getting anywhere in life. I have a license but zero to show for it.

I'll look at my few options in VA. I am not expecting anything though.

Some days I am just so exhausted and all I want is to sleep and be hugged/cuddled. This whole process is emotionally draining.

Why is it even hard to get a license back when you voluntarily give it up vs the Executive Director sending you something saying give it back?

Maybe I can move a couple of hours away and drive back here and work with my volunteer stuff. I don't know. I just want something wonderful job wise to happen.

Maybe I am just tired...make that exhausted. Maybe I am just venting and frustrated. I just want a break.

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is this normal? I mean, to go through these feelings. Those of you who did make it through, did you ever feel like just giving up?

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

You should check with a nurse attorney about the license and end your speculation. They will be able to tell you. Good luck with all your future endeavors. You have so much to be proud of. Live long and prosper.....

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OMG! I think I might have made a break through!!! This morning I received an email telling me to send an endorsement application to TN BON with the fee and that I would have to go before the Board. I asked if the endorsement is still applicable if I want to stay in VA. I don't care to pay a (small) fee--hopefully, I can get it cheaper than an endorsement fee because I am not moving there. I also don't mind going before the Board to talk to them. But, I think I have made a breakthrough. We can only hope and pray.

This lady also told me that the Commissioner has nothing to do with it...I don't know.

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Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

My God Yes it's Normal! The punishment that's really not called punishment. I did it 21 months stocking shelves and freezers at Walmart after making $39/hr traveling. It's heartbreakingly frustrating- and it's too hard for anyone to do alone, that's why we flock to support groups, and have to be totally honest with one another.

I love your writing, and you are a beautiful spirit. There is no black line on you, and you are worth a fight! It sucks being broke, intimidated, and shamed- but it's only temporary.

If your dream isn't nursing- fine. You may be my child's Psychiatrist someday, but don't let an emotional decision cause that dream to die. Please, know they (BON) are not your friend. Google some support groups to attend in person- they are more than support- a peer group can give you excellent advice, and most important consult an attorney or LNC first.

I want your dreams to come true, and for you to be so happy it would make a Hallmark Card look cheap!! But remember before you call they are constantly judging our decision making skills.

I wish I had the magic answer, but I do feel your pain, and I hope everything works out soon!

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Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.
OMG! I think I might have made a break through!!! This morning I received an email telling me to send an endorsement application to TN BON with the fee and that I would have to go before the Board. I asked if the endorsement is still applicable if I want to stay in VA. I don't care to pay a (small) fee--hopefully, I can get it cheaper than an endorsement fee because I am not moving there. I also don't mind going before the Board to talk to them. But, I think I have made a breakthrough. We can only hope and pray.This lady also told me that the Commissioner has nothing to do with it...I don't know.
Keep your buds updated.
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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

Agreeing with the others...seek legal counsel about the ramifications of giving up your license before you do it. If you don't ask a lawyer, at least ask the BON/VA Dept. of Health Professions. Not only will surrendering impede your chances of being licensed elsewhere as a nurse because you'd have to disclose it to those states' BONs, you'll have to jump through a lot of hoops in order to get VA to reinstate you. Plus as another poster has said, surrendering your license may impact your chances of getting any other type of licensure.

It may be better to put your license on "inactive" status instead while you work through your feelings and focus on your recovery. How long are the terms left on your HPIP agreement? Nurses that I've known in the program found that once they completed the program or most of it, their chances of being hired improved.

But if you truly feel that leaving nursing is what you have to do...then that's what you have to do. I won't judge that, because only you can decide what is best for you and your recovery.

Best of luck no matter what happens.

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Thank you, Boston! That email from them gave me this little glimmer of hope this morning. I hope I can show them that I am a good person and I am trying so hard to get everything back together. I mean, I can't do anything about my past, but I am treated now and am on the "straight and narrow" so to speak and I wish people would give me credit for that and let me find a job.

I think part of the problem was/is also TN doesn't quite understand their role in this process (the special authorization thing). At least that's what I am getting the feeling of. I think if there was better understanding (which I am trying to explain it better, just in case they have other cases like this) then it wouldn't be so bad. Like I said, if they give me authorization then I don't care to pay a small fee (I don't think it should be as much as endorsing the license because the authorization is for a specific job, not for the entire state and I am not moving there) and I don't mind to go before the Board, but I just don't like the hatefulness, for lack of better words.

The key to getting people with mental illness and substance abuse and other issues back on track is giving them purpose and something to look forward to and live for. I mean, it's wonderful that people don't want people relapsing and using again or trying to commit suicide, etc. but if you cannot integrate these people back into society in a productive way, then all that work just does not matter because they will be back into that same position a short time later. So, instead of slamming doors in their face, sometimes you just have to give them a break. If they go back to their old ways, then it's on them, not you. Then, you have more of a point in casting them aside.

Just my thoughts.

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