Giving the license up - page 3
After much thought, I have decided to send my license back. I will call the Executive Director on Monday and my case manager to see about future options, if I were to ever want to get my license back. But, when thinking about... Read More
- 1Dec 3, '12 by Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, RN Senior ModeratorQuote from subeeI have to agree with that: the first year should be spent focusing on you and your recovery.I'm with Cheryl. You are in very EARLY recovery. 7 months is not far out but the early period is the worst because you're still short on coping skills and long on shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, etc.
You've heard the advice often given to widows? Don't make major life or financial decisions during the first year - you're still not over your grief enough to be rational re: your self interests.
Plus, many employers will not touch an applicant with "only" months in recovery...that may be why they are hesitating when you apply. One of my former facilities would hire people in recovery but they had to have at least one solid year under their belt. If you apply with a year or more of proven clean time, you may find employers to be more open.
- 0Dec 3, '12 by mcat45you need to hang in there; I am veterinarian turned paramedic/RN (pending short preceptorship completion); I have seen professionals from vets to mds to RNs go thru hell in getting license issues resolved; you seem very "grounded" and wise, and think you have genuinely corrected a problem (who among us lives in glass houses? we all do-none are perfect!) you have a career, don't "shrink away"! Fight for it! again, no one is perfect! You have a right to your profession, and do not grow weary!
- 5Dec 3, '12 by catmom1, BSN, RNQuote from wish_me_luckI have to strongly disagree. Being clean and sober is not about external circumstances. Everyone on this earth will, sooner or later, face challenges beyond what they think they can handle. This is no excuse for relapse.I mean, it's wonderful that people don't want people relapsing and using again or trying to commit suicide, etc. but if you cannot integrate these people back into society in a productive way, then all that work just does not matter because they will be back into that same position a short time later.
I also wanted to respond to the part of your post that refers to suicide.
Besides believing that my recovery is in spite of, not because of, the punishments meted out by my BON and the nursing world in general, my impression of the board was that it was no skin off their noses if I had committed suicide. I would be just one less pile of paperwork to file and one less life to scrutinize to the nth degree. Being treated like a criminal when I had several years of sobriety was painful and humiliating, epitomized by the observed urine drug screens and the disgust shown me by some (not all) hiring managers.
I hope someday to get a nursing job where I can help other addicts. In the meantime, I am in recovery for myself and will continue to enjoy good health (hopefully).
Yours in bitterness,
- 3Dec 5, '12 by jackstemwish_me_luck,
I know exactly how you feel...the peaceful feeling thing. I'm a recovering opioid addict and former CRNA. After my last relapse I knew in my bones I could never return to anesthesia, and if I couldn't do that, I didn't want to return to nursing. I've been clean for 17 years and 8 months and 7 days...no small coincidence in my case. I have numerous friends in a similar situation who have been able to return and remain clean and sober. I think it's awesome they can do that. We need to do what's best for us and our recovery. I've been lucky in that I have begun working as a drug counselor a little over 5 weeks ago. It's the only job other than anesthesia that I truly love and that I look forward to clocking in every day. I encourage you to seek out your own path and pursue other possibilities. Your experiences can help others dealing with many of the things you've been through.
GOOD LUCK IN YOUR ENDEAVORS!! Keep us posted as you proceed on your journey.
- 3Dec 5, '12 by wish_me_luckThanks, Jack. I am hanging on to it for now. But, I am going to fight for the authorization in TN all the way. I finally also got issued my pharmacy technician license. I look back on what I have had to fight for and get through and it's those small victories that get me through and give me hope.
- 1Dec 6, '12 by BostonTerrierLoverRNShould we close the thread before you change your mind- that way we have you word, lol!
All of us in your position have wanted to tie our license to a brick and ...... through a BON window, in fact sometimes I wanted to do that before my addiction
- 0Dec 6, '12 by wish_me_luckYou want to close it and I can update in a new thread? Or should it stay open and I can update in this thread? I am going to look in VA, but still go in January because I have no idea whether I will get anything in VA. Just because I apply, doesn't mean I'll get any job offer. I can PM you instead on the update, Boston, if no one else is interested.