Why so many tattletale nurses?

celtchick68 · Jun 9, 2012

I'm sure that there is a fair amount of women out there who just have it in their nature to be this way. It's one of the things I hate about women--that need to tear apart another woman. Often I think it's jealousy, sometimes just maybe the only way a woman can make herself feel better. Whatever the issue I hate it.

That being said...In the nursing world this can be a true safety issue. The person making that error that results in another "tattling" doesn't want to be called out for making a mistake--especially when that mistake can cost his/her job. Plenty of times people are Perfect Snowflakes and refuse to admit to that error. I'm not a "snitch". I'm also not covering for the errors of another. I'm a patient advocate. If I see an error I bring it to the attention of the one who made the error. If they are unwilling to address that then perhaps it needs to be addressed elsewhere. People don't learn from their mistakes if they don't know they've made one or if they're being covered up. Bottom line is that I'm not going to lose my job over your error and I'm not going to allow your error to harm a patient. If that's tattling then we should all do it.

nickola · Jun 9, 2012

Very well put! It does seem that people are two-faced & passive-aggressive-- dramatizing things & making mountains out of molehills!!-- all very sick, dysfunctional behavior. Too many times management doesn't see this though, & don't get the full picture. If you don't "join in" you become a target. I am weary of this behavior which is so rampant in my workplace.

caliotter3 · Jun 9, 2012

I find it to be a function of immature people who can not fathom the process of showing up their coworkers by using outstanding job performance against them. Remember that whining about the failures of others is often a diversionary tactic to fend off managers, especially the naive ones, from looking too closely at your shortcomings.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Jun 9, 2012

I think he already knew the purpose behind the triangles. I think it was a sarcastic question where one already knew the answer.
Click on the triangle = tattle (after all, this thread is about tattletales)

Ah. Well, they say no good deed goes unpunished...

anononurse · Jun 9, 2012

That's the way the world is now, except in my own way I try to change it. I don't need to pass you just because your car is in front of me. I don't need a big atta boy for doing what I should. I don't need to rush in front of you in the grocery store so I can be first to check out. I don't need to tell you what my GPA was in nursing school to say I deserve a job instead of you. I don't need to try to catch you doing the slightest thing in a different way so I can try to tell on you. Trying to get you in trouble to prove I am the superior nurse. I don't need to pick your post apart and declare you are terrible and say you are bad. I see it in life, I see it at work, I see it on AllNurses. I believe in, "What goes around, comes around." So in my own little way I try to make the world a little gentler and kinder place to be. I gave up on the me, me, me people long ago, they will never change, it will always be what's in it for them, not for their fellow man/ coworker.

I agree, and I'd like to add: Just b/c I'm quiet & reserved doesn't mean I'm any less of a nurse!! Not all of us are loud, over-exuberant, or boisterous. I prefer to work with low-key professionals who quietly do their job w/out the fanfare. There are enough pushy, aggressive, showy "super nurses" vying for the limelight!!

nickola · Jun 9, 2012

A few years ago my manager told me that another nurse had complained about me b/c she didn't like my tone of voice when I greeted her one morning as we passed in the halls!! The complainant considered my greeting "hostile" LOL!! I guess "Morning ______ (insert name) " was testy in her mind somehow. After a good laugh my manager told me she thought the other nurse was being hypersensitive- she is one who also makes a daily pest of herself re: scheduling, & getting "hours" pushing herself into areas where help isn't needed or appreciated b/c she is part time & wants a full time position. She is annoying beyond belief, w/an abrasive personality, but fortunately our manager has her number & takes her rants w/a grain of salt, & is well aware that this person fabricates & exaggerates situations to put others in a poor light & make herself look better. What's funny about this type of person, is they complain about EVERYone, even their "friends" & management, but it takes a while to figure it out. (Luckily this particular person finally left for a fulltime position at another hospital).

orthonurse55 · Jun 9, 2012

i'm sure that there is a fair amount of women out there who just have it in their nature to be this way. it's one of the things i hate about women--that need to tear apart another woman. often i think it's jealousy, sometimes just maybe the only way a woman can make herself feel better. whatever the issue i hate it.
that being said...in the nursing world this can be a true safety issue. the person making that error that results in another "tattling" doesn't want to be called out for making a mistake--especially when that mistake can cost his/her job. plenty of times people are perfect snowflakes and refuse to admit to that error. i'm not a "snitch". i'm also not covering for the errors of another. i'm a patient advocate. if i see an error i bring it to the attention of the one who made the error. if they are unwilling to address that then perhaps it needs to be addressed elsewhere. people don't learn from their mistakes if they don't know they've made one or if they're being covered up. bottom line is that i'm not going to lose my job over your error and i'm not going to allow your error to harm a patient. if that's tattling then we should all do it.

i agree with most of what you have said. but most of the annoying back-stabbers do not have the decency to come to you first to discuss an error, or what they perceive to be an error. they go behind your back and gossip or go to the supervisors. those are the ones i can't stand to work with!

and as far as working with men vs. women, or who does this the most? i would much rather work with men! most men will come to you first, hash it out in the open and then it's done and over with! many women will not do that. i happen to be a woman who will do that, because i think it is the only health way. and it is also the best way for us to work together as a team and for our patients to get the best care!

Are-En-Fla · Jun 10, 2012

Wow, I guess I am really fortunate to work in a facility where I don't see this happening. I am a new nurse and was welcomed with open arms by just about everyone. Everyone works together as a team and I absolutely never got the "nurses eat their young" attitude. Veteran nurses always ask me if I need help as well as newer nurses. It is a small facility, our telemetry unit has 25 beds (all private rooms). If gossip is going on, it is behind closed doors outside of my earshot.

celtchick68 · Jun 10, 2012

orthonurse:

You're right, most back-stabbers do not have this basic common decency. Funny story: a new and young nurse I know was in the midst of her clinical rotation and saw a patient in a bed that was high up off the ground and an older, seasoned nurse who had been in with the patient walked out of the room. The student nurse chastised the veteran nurse for leaving the bed in that position as it was a safety concern. The veteran nurse looked back at the room, bed in high position, curtain partially pulled and stated to the student nurse, "You're right and when the lab technician who's in there drawing blood finishes with that patient it will be put back in a safe position."

A perfect case of someone not knowing the whole situation and jumping in to judge. I guess at least student nurse didn't go complaining behind her back but I thought it was incredibly rude to have behaved in that manner in the first place. (Student nurse said this loudly in the hallway near the nurses station for everyone to hear) Easier solution would have been to first go look at the patient, ASSESS the situation then if the bed had indeed been left in the high position lower it then maybe ask the veteran nurse about it alone. (which would have been a non issue in this case as student nurse would have discovered right off the bat that she was wrong.)

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 10, 2012

as always, i'm astounded by how many misogynists there are on allnurses.com. maybe it's astounding that i haven't caught on yet how many nurses, student nurses, pre-nursing students and wannabes actually don't like women, consider them inferior, etc.

"tattletales" are somewhat in the eye of the beholder, i think. if i tell the manager that sue made a med error, that's "patient advocacy." if sue tells the manager that i made a med error, that's "tattletaling." i realize it's not completely that simple, but i believe that most of those who find tattletales, catty women, backstabbers, etc. where ever they go are telling more about themselves than about the people they find.

morte, LPN, LVN · Jun 10, 2012

i would prefer to be told first....and if you are going to the ptb, that it be something important. not that i gave my patients their meds late, w/o mentioning that there was a code/fall/missing patient etc. therein lies the difference between advocacy and "tattling". a big part of this "mess" is the socialization of females, and perhaps innate behaviors. i have mentioned before that woman in the fertile years have a basic, primitive need to be on the good side of tptb, for their (the woman) and their offsprings very survival. these instincts don't just stop working/being.

as always, i'm astounded by how many misogynists there are on allnurses.com. maybe it's astounding that i haven't caught on yet how many nurses, student nurses, pre-nursing students and wannabes actually don't like women, consider them inferior, etc.

"tattletales" are somewhat in the eye of the beholder, i think. if i tell the manager that sue made a med error, that's "patient advocacy." if sue tells the manager that i made a med error, that's "tattletaling." i realize it's not completely that simple, but i believe that most of those who find tattletales, catty women, backstabbers, etc. where ever they go are telling more about themselves than about the people they find.

celtchick68 · Jun 10, 2012

As always, I'm astounded by how many misogynists there are on allnurses.com. Maybe it's astounding that I haven't caught on yet how many nurses, student nurses, pre-nursing students and wannabes actually don't like women, consider them inferior, etc.
"Tattletales" are somewhat in the eye of the beholder, I think. If I tell the manager that Sue made a med error, that's "patient advocacy." If Sue tells the manager that I made a med error, that's "Tattletaling." I realize it's not completely that simple, but I believe that most of those who find tattletales, catty women, backstabbers, etc. where ever they go are telling more about themselves than about the people they find.

Ruby

I guess my question asks why it's your business if Sue makes a med error? Why not allow Sue to report her own med error? Your statement doesn't read right to me. If Sue makes a med error and you tell on her you are tattling. If Sue makes a med error and reports you then Sue is a liar. I'm all about being a patient advocate but I'm also a big fan of personal accountability and allowing people to correct their own mistakes.

I think it boils down to how a mistake is discovered. I imagine a typical day doesn't allow me much time to watch what every other person is doing so how would I even know if an error was made? If another nurse comes to me to discuss a dilemma regarding her med error then by the end of the discussion it will be clear from my perspective that either she reports the error or I will.