Why so many tattletale nurses?

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 12, 2015

I couldn't agree more. Lazy nurses increase the work load on everyone around them and jeopardize the safety of the patients.

Please don't use your photo as an avatar and don't post under your own name. This board tends to be more anonymous than not. There's a good reason for that -- you don't want to be too identifiable. Sooner or later you're going to post something stupid, ill-advised, confrontational or just plain unpopular. When that happens -- and it happens to all of us -- you don' want your manager to be able to instantly identify you when someone prints out your post to show her. Or your professors. Or your preceptor. Or perhaps even your husband.

Here are some threads on the subject:

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/using-your-photo-816336.html

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/about-that-avatar-900567.html

https://allnurses.com/pre-nursing-student/please-dont-use-907925.html

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 12, 2015

In a field where human compassion and empathy for people should be an inherited trait in the nurse, one would think this quality would incompass all people, including fellow nurses. Unfortunatley, government has advertised nursing career to the masses through media and institutions, with no regard to the type of character, morals or values the nurse should have. The government needs a body to push pills and implement physician orders. In nursing school, the programs and books try to make you feel that your job is so important, with this vast amount of book knowledge you do not use once in the field. Moreover, media again, draws people to the field with words related to "job security, endless opportunity, good money."
So why so many bad nurses with bad attitudes? They didn't follow their own dreams in life! They where drawn to something that appeared enticing, protective and secure. When they got into the field, they hated their job, yet feel trapped. They whine, *****, complain to point the blame at anyone but themselves. He who points one finger forward, has 3 pointing back.
Nurses who love nursing are not included in my thoughts here. They are the greatest. Nurses who love nursing, love and help other nurses. They want them to be successful because they are smart enough to know, this builds a stronger work team and safer environment for everyone.
We must be willing to change ourselves before we can change others.
I did not mean to "*****". I agree with many post here. I am a previous manager of a fortune 500 company, with little tolerance for immature tattle tales. They would only come to my office once, before they realized that I put them on the pedestal for questioning. Such questions I'd ask. "So tell me, what did you do to help her?" It's interesting to watch a tattler reflect and realize she never reached out to help, rather attempts were made to destroy.

I think you've mistaken the real people who are nurses for some sort of super-people who inheirited unlimited empathy and compassion for others.

Nursing is a tough job, and there are days when I have JUST enough empathy and compassion to deal with my patient and his visitors and not enough left over for the co-worker who complains about being called in (YOU signed up for the call shift), who insists that she cannot take care of anyone in isolation, with "yukky" body fluids to clean up, on certain drips or with certain smells "because I'm pregnant, you know" (at any point in time, roughly 10-15% of our staff is pregnant, trying to get pregnant or nursing -- you can't ALL have the cush assignments with no smells) or that someone ELSE isn't pulling their weight.

I'm getting very tired of being told that because I'm a nurse, I "ought to have" unlimited amounts of empathy and compassion for everyone under the sun. You would't expect that of a physician, a lawyer or a janitor. I'm just as human as everyone else, and the fact that I make my living as a nurse doesn't mean that I am less human or more blessed with empathy and compassion than your basic corporate drone, rocket scientist or dog walker.

bhargrave15 · Jul 12, 2015

Oh good advice!

defying.gravity · Jul 12, 2015

If you google "Kathleen Bartholomew", you might find a lot of the answers you are looking for. Kathleen Bartholomew dedicates her career to researching, answering and helping with the questions you ask.

TriciaJ, RN · Jul 16, 2015

I wish people would tattle on each other where I work. Would be less staff sleeping on the job and pt complaints if that were the case.

I think the problem is that we don't know what's "tattling" and what's reportable. And managers who don't know, either. I've had coworkers who could hardly wait to run to the manager with all manner of stupid stuff. And very poor managers who bought in to the nonsense and encouraged this behaviour.

The flip side is nurses being unwilling to report serious offenses like theft, drug impairment, unsafe practice. Or managers blowing it off if it was reported. I even worked in a place where the same manager did both.

There are tattlers and back-stabbers everywhere. And inept managers.

TriciaJ, RN · Jul 16, 2015

I dunno.
By the way, what is that little yellow triangle down there in the lower left corner of all these posts for anyway?
:thankya:

Trust me, you don't want it to not be there.

TriciaJ, RN · Jul 16, 2015

The strategy is actually encouraged in nursing. It is uniquely powerful in nursing and I believe not a gender issue. Becoming influential: a guide for nurses by Eleanor J. Sullivan actually recommends that managers have "informants." The book suggests that new nurses provide this service to become more influential with the manager. My current manager encourages this behavior by deciding that the most accurate description of events is the first one to "tattle." A manager could stop this by having people begin by first talking with the offender. Then if that does not work, both talk to the charge nurse and so on up to the manager. The manager's first question should be "what did that person, the charge nurse and the assistant manager do and why was it not effective?"
In a nutshell, snitching is a leadership problem.

I bet Eleanor J. Sullivan didn't get invited to many birthday parties.

betterinthesun · Jul 25, 2015

I think a lot of it is just the pressure put on nurses in acute care settings these days. As soon as you hear about a negative event everyone immediately wonders (either out loud or to themselves) whose fault it is instead of wondering in general how/why the event occurred. I constantly hear co-workers talking about making sure they are "covered" an having to look out for themselves. I remember this one nurse coming on shift at 2300 was making a big deal about documenting and telling everyone she could that the PM shift nurse gave lovenox to a patient at 2200 but the patient was scheduled to have abdominal surgery early the next morning. She was just so adamant to point out that it wasn't her that did it but the previous nurse that did it. She wasn't actively trying to get the other nurse in trouble she was just so concerned that if she didn't do this someone might put the blame on her.

Nurse in White Snitched · May 3, 2020

Why would a professional nurse listen to a school teacher; and then go to her doctor and behind her back tell what was said. Why would this nurse involve herself when the teacher was dealing with her medical condition. This happened by a school nurse. Of course, the proof is what transpired as a result but the nurse went out of her way to disclose what was discussed. Can you believe the nerve? Did this nurse get a kickback??? A job??

This is unacceptable behavior. She could destroy this teacher’s life.

anononurse · May 3, 2020

Very sad that this happens more often than we know. Unfortunately gossip is not uncommon in nursing just like any other career. It takes integrity to be professional and keep your mouth shut. Sadly, many people in Administration or in leadership positions like to hear gossip on the personal life & trials of others. The boss’s BFFs or favorites are always the small minded, self-serving tattletales, and it helps the them score brownie points. Face it, there is no equitable treatment in the workplace, nor will there be until LEADERSHIP models professional behavior. Always keep your eyes wide open & your mouth shut unless it’s something you would want said about you. Many professional nurses have no integrity, and that’s not professional at all!

anononurse · May 5, 2020

On 6/6/2012 at 9:49 PM, TheCommuter said:
Here are my viewpoints on this issue. The nursing profession attracts a number of people with self esteem issues. Persons who have self esteem problems need an unusual amount of validation and ego-boosting just to feel better about themselves. Thus, the two-faced, backstabbing, tattletale, passive-aggressive behaviors proliferate.

Some nurses with low self esteems feel on top of the world by doing things that tear down their coworkers. For some reason, their egos are temporarily stroked while they snitch, tattle, and dramatize things.

A nurse generally has no desire to rip apart another human being unless his/her own self confidence is down in the dumps.

Very well stated! Sadly, codependency is rampant among caregivers.

Nurse in White Snitched · May 5, 2020

Thank you for sharing. She tampered with my trust and my medical care. I went to her, because I was scared and looking for advice and support about my treatment. I believe she may have said everything I discussed at this point. I feel so violated.