Why do we eat our young? - page 5

I'm a float pool nurse at my hospital so I bounce around, a lot. Wherever they need me, I go. So I'm pretty well known around the hospital, favorably, thank goodness. The past few months, I was... Read More

  1. Visit  BrandonLPN profile page
    5
    Quote from SantaRN
    I taught student nurses at a community college for a few years......I totally understand locking the door while she cried. I had only a few strict rules I held dear- one of them was they were never to cry out on the floor, and if they had to cry- do iton the way home or in the bathroom -but they had to hide all evidence that they had been crying before they came back out to do patient care. There is something in the water in nursing units, I swear.If some of the crusty old nurses would see a student cry, it was like they were an easy mark for the rest of the semester. I think some of the staff actually enjoyed making students/new grads reach their breaking point. I don't understand it to this day, but I know that kind of abuse exists and thrives in certain units. I certainly don't have any answers on how to put a stop to it, especially because we all know those attitudes and behaviors are out there and yet it shows no signs of ending anytime soon :-(
    Or maybe they're just crying because they're emotionally brittle people. Maybe they need to work on that.
    mclennan, Altra, anotherone, and 2 others like this.
  2. Visit  OCNRN63 profile page
    5
    I've found that for the most part people treat you the way you expect them to treat you. Yes, occasionally people are thoughtless or insensitive and that's their nature. It's just been my experience that if you go into a situation expecting trouble, you're probably going to get it.
    Rose_Queen, mclennan, wooh, and 2 others like this.
  3. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    11
    Quote from llg
    Why do some people eat our young? For the same reason we eat our old, and middle aged, and our leaders, and our followers ... and everyone else. The health care industry is a stressful one. Lives are at stake. People stress about that. They are also overworked and may be dealing with a host of other stresses in their lives. etc. etc. etc. Our world is stressful and sometimes, not pretty.

    For many young nurses, their first RN job is their first indepth experience with an adult workplace. There are books written about the struggles that young adults face when they go from being a "shielded" student to being held accountable as a responsible adult. That life transition can be a stressful process in any field. Add the stress of lives at stake and shift rotations, and it is to be expected that the transition will be a stressful one for a young nurse.

    Much has been written about the phenomena of Reality Shock and Transition Shock -- both of which basically explain why the morale of new grads tends to plummet a few weeks/months after hire -- even when they receive reasonable treatment. Anyone not well-versed in these processes should do some homework. They explain a lot.

    Reality Shock: The new grads are confronted with the fact that their reality is not the "pie in the sky" fantasy of their dreams. They also discover that they are not the "perfect nurses" they thought they would be: they make mistakes and have a lot to learn. Confronting these realities causes them to feel disappointed, discouraged, and betrayed by a world who led them to believe that everything would be wonderful once they got a job.

    Transition Shock: Adapting to a new place, new people, new routines, new demands, etc. takes energy. Over time, the expenditure of that energy causes the new grad to feel tired and "drained" of the physical and psychological energy needed to cope with challenges. If they don't find a way to re-charge their batteries, they start to decompensate.

    I don't know the details in the case described in the OP, but to assume that this young nurse has been abused or treated unfairly based only on her meltdown is not fair to the experienced nurses who work on that unit. It is abusive to automatically blame them without giving them a fair "hearing." And being unfair to the experienced nurses is just as bad as being unfair to the new nurse.
    We need to stop assuming that everyone who is unhappy is the victim of abuse -- and stop battering the experienced nurses who are continually being blamed for everything unpleasant in the world of nursing.

    I wish the young nurse in the OP well. I really do. But I also wish the experienced nurses she works with well, too.
    This is so good it bears repeating. It should go in the stickie threads for the first year in practice forum. It should be cast in silver and mounted in the lobby of every nursing school. It should be part of every student's senior practicum.

    I, for one, am getting verrrrrry tired of being arbitrarily placed in the "mean" pile because, as an older more experienced person, I try to explain these concepts to young'uns. We cannot be so supportive of new nurses as to sidestep the developmental needs they still have, as above. We cannot be their helicoptering parents (the one that hover), the snowplows (the ones that remove all obstacles), we cannot keep them from the realities of being working nurses, we cannot shelter them from the consequences of their own work performance. It is not a matter of "eating young," it is a matter of NOT swaddling, NOT coddling, NOT expecting less of them than was expected of us when we were new nurses. It's a matter of trying to bring them along; we don't have time to do it any other way.
    Esme12, Rose_Queen, nursel56, and 8 others like this.
  4. Visit  llg profile page
    4
    Quote from GrnTea

    I, for one, am getting verrrrrry tired of being arbitrarily placed in the "mean" pile because, as an older more experienced person, I try to explain these concepts to young'uns. We cannot be so supportive of new nurses as to sidestep the developmental needs they still have, as above. We cannot be their helicoptering parents (the one that hover), the snowplows (the ones that remove all obstacles), we cannot keep them from the realities of being working nurses, we cannot shelter them from the consequences of their own work performance. It is not a matter of "eating young," it is a matter of NOT swaddling, NOT coddling, NOT expecting less of them than was expected of us when we were new nurses. It's a matter of trying to bring them along; we don't have time to do it any other way.
    I am probably going to steal some of those phrases from you, GrnTea. Don't be surprised it you see them in some of my future posts. I hope you don't mind!
    Esme12, nursel56, wooh, and 1 other like this.
  5. Visit  anotherone profile page
    0
    Did not read every post. most of the new grads of recent in my unit are lazy (old and young 23-50+) with the worst being ones who have had previous "careers" less flexible ( before the flame throwers start this is my job, my observation on the people there not a description of every new nurse over 30) and poor work ethic. not to be blamed on texting 20year olds. i can not stand how most of them (young and old) will never ever answer a call bell or bed alarm but expect me or another "experienced" nurse to be at their beck and call for everything. sick of it. sick of precepting some who ignore advice, dont follow orders, and other bs. I do not precept from a far and will watch everything and ask queations. come on , do you want to learn or not? I know this specific to certain units .
    Last edit by anotherone on Jan 17, '13
  6. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    0
    Quote from llg
    I am probably going to steal some of those phrases from you, GrnTea. Don't be surprised it you see them in some of my future posts. I hope you don't mind!
    At your own risk.
  7. Visit  OCNRN63 profile page
    4
    Quote from GrnTea
    This is so good it bears repeating. It should go in the stickie threads for the first year in practice forum. It should be cast in silver and mounted in the lobby of every nursing school. It should be part of every student's senior practicum.

    I, for one, am getting verrrrrry tired of being arbitrarily placed in the "mean" pile because, as an older more experienced person, I try to explain these concepts to young'uns. We cannot be so supportive of new nurses as to sidestep the developmental needs they still have, as above. We cannot be their helicoptering parents (the one that hover), the snowplows (the ones that remove all obstacles), we cannot keep them from the realities of being working nurses, we cannot shelter them from the consequences of their own work performance. It is not a matter of "eating young," it is a matter of NOT swaddling, NOT coddling, NOT expecting less of them than was expected of us when we were new nurses. It's a matter of trying to bring them along; we don't have time to do it any other way.
    Me too.
    Esme12, nursel56, wooh, and 1 other like this.
  8. Visit  applewhitern profile page
    6
    I am an older, experienced RN. It "used to be" that I would get paid a hefty amount in addition to my usual salary to orient new nurses. Now, I don't get one extra penny. It can be a lot of extra work to orient new nurses, plus I usually have my own assignment to deal with also. Almost always, when I try to explain a procedure to a new grad, the first words out of their mouth is, "I know, we learned that in school." OK, at least pretend to listen to me because if I think you don't care what I have to say, it really makes me not want to help you. (Just because you had that in school doesn't mean you are proficient, and just maybe I can help you avoid mistakes.) Second, get off the cell-phone, texting, what-have-you! I really resent trying to help you, but you cannot be bothered enough to even look up at me because you are texting! I think you are engrossed in your work, but then I see you have a cell-phone in your hands! There have been many times I have wanted to discuss something with you, but I was put off by your constant texting and ignoring me. Sorry for the rant, but these are the two main problems I have with orienting new nurses.
    Conqueror+, nursel56, wooh, and 3 others like this.
  9. Visit  NurseGuyBri profile page
    1
    It's very sad that there is such a stigma around nursing eating their young. I really cant even say why it happens, but I do know we can stop it. That's all there is to it- Keep holding each other up and building strong teams and allies, and it will eventually stop. I for one am committed to fostering new nurses using social media and this website. Think about it - A website (allnurses.com) where nurses come together online and have discussions. It's beautiful, and it needs to spread! Thanks for this post!
    Nightingallow likes this.
  10. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    4
    A nurse who is way older'n me told me once, "No one will want to chew on you if you're tough."
    NurseGuyBri, wooh, BrandonLPN, and 1 other like this.
  11. Visit  monkey2008 profile page
    1
    I'm a new nurse, I'll be starting my first job next month. I somehow lucked out and was offered a position for a 6 month gn internship on the unit of my choice (micu/sicu) at a magnet hospital.

    As the start date get closer, I realize a few things every day: I'm thankful to have a job, I'm excited to start working, I'm terrified I'm going to cause harm, I'm acutely aware of how much I really don't know, I'm very aware of how unprepared I am to be a "real nurse", I'm going to be working harder than I ever have before since in addtion to working full time, I'll have to be studying full time to really grasp all that I see/do during a shift. I understand that I'm only going to get what I give, which applies to respect, work ethic and learning.

    I, like everyone else, worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices to go back to school as an adult (I'm a second degree nurse), I certainly do not think the learning stopped when I passed my boards, in fact the learning is really just beginning and is never ending.

    I think the whole discussion, for the most part, comes down to the type of person you are. If you work hard, are willing to learn, and respectful, for the most part, your coworkers will be the same. If you don't work hard, act like you have nothing to learn and don't put in the time and effort, that's what you'll get back.

    I don't know, just my $0.01, I'm not working yet so I don't deserve $ 0.02
    hiddencatRN likes this.
  12. Visit  Nightingallow profile page
    1
    So here's the recap...

    The original posting by jreynrn was about how she helped out a new nurse who had no support from other staff members. She was discussing her concerns of how other nurses were bullying the new nurse, or made the envirionment very unfavorable for her to ask questions. Many responses went on to congradulating jreynrn for reaching out to the new nurse. The next postings were of others trying to understand the nature as to why nurses this may happen.

    The irony of this thread is that it is starting to demonstrate what should not be done. There are some really good comments in the beginning of this thread that I feel is worth reading.
    NurseGuyBri likes this.
  13. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    1
    Quote from GrnTea
    This is so good it bears repeating. It should go in the stickie threads for the first year in practice forum. It should be cast in silver and mounted in the lobby of every nursing school. It should be part of every student's senior practicum.

    I, for one, am getting verrrrrry tired of being arbitrarily placed in the "mean" pile because, as an older more experienced person, I try to explain these concepts to young'uns. We cannot be so supportive of new nurses as to sidestep the developmental needs they still have, as above. We cannot be their helicoptering parents (the one that hover), the snowplows (the ones that remove all obstacles), we cannot keep them from the realities of being working nurses, we cannot shelter them from the consequences of their own work performance. It is not a matter of "eating young," it is a matter of NOT swaddling, NOT coddling, NOT expecting less of them than was expected of us when we were new nurses. It's a matter of trying to bring them along; we don't have time to do it any other way.

    OK, but I am wondering what this has to do with what the OP posted and the reality that is abusive behavior (nurse-to-nurse)--against young, old, new, whatever kinds of nurses. There is a socialized mentality of this that often prevails, and it's totally insufferable, and frankly, there really is NO excuse for it.

    Anyway that's the kind of thing to which I was referring.
    NurseGuyBri likes this.


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