What's the weirdest thing management has said to you?

Nurses Relations

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Based on the thank you card thread, what's the most bizarre thing said to you by management or administration? I can think of a few that will always stand out in my mind.

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When discussing our patient satisfaction surveys, our manager told me in a staff meeting, "Monkeybug, a patient would much rather have a nice nurse than a smart one. They don't care how smart you are, it doesn't matter. The "little things" are what matter! In fact, a family probably wouldn't care if you killed a patient if you were a really sweet nurse." My reply was rather colorful, and culminated with me saying, "give me the smart ***** any day if I'm the patient."

I had a negative survey once because the patient had rolling veins. The patient's comment was that I should have kept this from happening. I asked manager how I was to do this, for future reference. "Well, of course, you can't control rolling veins. But I'm sure if you just apologized enough, you wouldn't get these negative comments!" (my only negative that quarter, but enough of an issue to get called to the office)

I remembered another nutty thing the same manager said. At a staff meeting we were discussing the fact that 99% of the time we did not get a lunch break. At best, you might get to gulp down a few bites on the way through the nurses station. A nurse had finally gone to HR about it. HR told us to clock a "no lunch.". Manager said we should just think about a day when we didn't have a patient, or maybe got an entire hour, and "it would all even out." Excuse me, but it does not. I am not allowed to run to Target if I don't happen to have a patient. That time is not my own. I asked her what the Labor Board would say about her theory (it is such a pain when one of the nurses you are trying to screw is a lawyer!). We got an email shortly thereafter stating that we should write out a "no lunch" on the clocking error sheet.
"No lunch"... we all know what would happen. The nurses would continuously have to write no lunch, overtime would have to be paid, then the threats would come about all the overtime so you go back to working for free. I would also like to point out the giant elephant. Writing "no lunch" and even getting paid for it does NOT SOLVE THE ISSUE, HR!!! We want our break! Not because we are lazy, but because it allows time to recharge which allows for better care of the patient. It allows for Reduced stress, increased mental health of staff....Duh

If you call out sick and don't have a note, even for just one day, you don't get to use PTO with it. If you go to a doc appointment and come in late/leave early and don't have a note, you don't get to use PTO for it. If the doc decides to close the office the day before a holiday you have to use your PTO or not get paid. I got yelled at nearly every pay period for going into OT--by less than 10 minutes--and once I reminded her that I was the only one who actually showed up on time every day. I got the usual earful about 0.10 hour of OT (6 minutes) on the same paycheck that was short 16 hours pay because I'd had a death in the family and couldn't use PTO for the funeral. When I pointed that out--my 6 minutes OT is much less than the 16 hours of no pay--I was told that was policy and if I didn't like it I knew where the door was. I had the early lunch and got yelled at because when I'd come back from lunch and let the other nurses know I was back, they'd take a few minutes to finish what they were doing then go to lunch. It was my fault that the other 3 didn't drop everything and run to the time clock, or if both providers were still seeing pts and I couldn't relieve both nurses at the same time, it was my fault. I asked my manager if she wanted me to clock back in and drag my other nurses to the timeclock and she said yes.

Specializes in kids.

When most of the residents in the LTC

need a hoyer or sit to stand...

and there is demented exit seeking man who could run circles around most of us,

in addition to a scabies out break...

we were told that when the residents or their families complain about the things not getting done due to short staffing (minimal scheduled plus a call in) that we were to smile and tell them "We are doing things a different way today"

Yup that was to be our mantra....trying to brainwash us/them? I'm not sure...all from an admininistrator who has never taken physical care of patients before....

Yup, we sure do things differently that what is promised when they pay ginormous amounts of $$ to enter this Residential/LTC facility.......

When discussing our patient satisfaction surveys, our manager told me in a staff meeting, "Monkeybug, a patient would much rather have a nice nurse than a smart one. They don't care how smart you are, it doesn't matter. The "little things" are what matter! In fact, a family probably wouldn't care if you killed a patient if you were a really sweet nurse." My reply was rather colorful, and culminated with me saying, "give me the smart ***** any day if I'm the patient."

QUOTE]

The sad thing is that 80% of the time, this is true! Our management said the same thing to us when we received poor survey scores.

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.

That's nuts. Sometimes I wonder if managers realize what they expect from us. I was not issued a crystal ball and surveillance system when I was hired!

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
"No lunch"... we all know what would happen. The nurses would continuously have to write no lunch, overtime would have to be paid, then the threats would come about all the overtime so you go back to working for free. I would also like to point out the giant elephant. Writing "no lunch" and even getting paid for it does NOT SOLVE THE ISSUE, HR!!! We want our break! Not because we are lazy, but because it allows time to recharge which allows for better care of the patient. It allows for Reduced stress, increased mental health of staff....Duh

And the all important, not-passing-out-due-to-hypoglycemia! One of our nurses delivered a beautiful baby girl with a suck blister on her hand. Nurse said, "It's because I NEVER got to eat lunch, my poor girl was starving in there!"

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.

I have one child, and I nursed him for 15 months. I did stop pumping at 12 months when I could supplement with cow's milk because it was too much trouble to try to get pump breaks on our unit. Even though it's my legal right and part of hospital policy, I got very little support. One 12 hour shift I had gone 8 hours without pumping and I was in agony. Every time we had a delivery and I heard a baby cry I would leak a bit more, and it hurt to even move. We were so busy that no one could give me a break. Our manager (the same weirdo I've referred to here numerous times) was sitting at the desk doing paperwork. We had centralized monitoring, so all patient fetal monitor strips could be viewed in real time at the desk. I told my manager how long it had been since I pumped, and asked if she could please just watch my patients for 15 minutes. I also pointed out that I hadn't had a lunch, but all I needed was to run go pump. She looked at me and sighed and said, "I mean, do you really have to?" NO, I could just undo my nursing bra and hose you down right here for some relief, but that would be a waste of resources. One of the 8 hour nurses on her way out literally threw her bags down, marched back to the time clock and clocked back in, slammed herself down into a chair and said, "Please go pump, I cannot watch a mother in pain, and I'm not leaving until you've had a break." Manager didn't say a word, and I got some relief. BUT, because of the lack of pumping breaks (or any breaks) my milk supply dwindled and I had to take Motillium to boost my supply, costing me money and undoing all my weight loss efforts (domperidone, Motillium, makes you HUNGRY all the time).

Specializes in Tele Step Down, Oncology, ICU, Med/Surg.

Awe Monkeybug--so sad to hear about the reduced milk supply because you were unable to pump. I used Fenugreek myself when I started back at work to keep my supply up and then we shifted to night nursing which you know meant I was dead tired at work the next day. Sounds like you are a great Mamma and Nurse. Nurse Managers are LOCO

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Our NIH policy is to do a handoff NIH with the on/off going nurse doing it together. THe NIH assessments had been Q4. The first NIH I did I charted the NIH scale. The next day I am in line to pick up my son from school and the hospital calls telling me I didn't complete the stroke charting and need to come back to finish it. I let the mgr know that I had in fact done the stroke scale. She's said she saw that, but I didn't write the note that I completed it. So my response was "So I have to chart that I charted?" Yup.... we now have to chart that we charted.... makes lots of sense to me! I guess they just want it recorded that the 2 nurses did it together??

Seriously that is dumb. Management has lost all common sense. I am so lucky I have the manager I have.

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
Awe Monkeybug--so sad to hear about the reduced milk supply because you were unable to pump. I used Fenugreek myself when I started back at work to keep my supply up and then we shifted to night nursing which you know meant I was dead tired at work the next day. Sounds like you are a great Mamma and Nurse. Nurse Managers are LOCO

I tried Fenugreek without much results, then Reglan, and it made me want to crawl the walls. Very unpleasant drug! I did research and ended up ordering Motillium from a Canadian pharmacy. I had so much trouble with latch, nipple confusion, and supply that once I got good at it I didn't want to stop! I -let him self-wean. Every day I would think we were done, and then he'd drag the Boppy over and sign "milk" so it would continue. I actually did miss it when he got too busy and distracted to nurse. Thanks for the compliments. I tried for so long to have a baby, I want to do everything right and get the most joy out of parenthood that I can. I think I'm doing ok. He's 3 and reads on a kindergarten/first grade level, and he's chock full of personality. Last night I told him I saw him throw a toy at the cat, and he better not do it again. He said, "well stop looking at me and finish cooking supper!"

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
If you call out sick and don't have a note, even for just one day, you don't get to use PTO with it. If you go to a doc appointment and come in late/leave early and don't have a note, you don't get to use PTO for it. If the doc decides to close the office the day before a holiday you have to use your PTO or not get paid. I got yelled at nearly every pay period for going into OT--by less than 10 minutes--and once I reminded her that I was the only one who actually showed up on time every day. I got the usual earful about 0.10 hour of OT (6 minutes) on the same paycheck that was short 16 hours pay because I'd had a death in the family and couldn't use PTO for the funeral. When I pointed that out--my 6 minutes OT is much less than the 16 hours of no pay--I was told that was policy and if I didn't like it I knew where the door was. I had the early lunch and got yelled at because when I'd come back from lunch and let the other nurses know I was back, they'd take a few minutes to finish what they were doing then go to lunch. It was my fault that the other 3 didn't drop everything and run to the time clock, or if both providers were still seeing pts and I couldn't relieve both nurses at the same time, it was my fault. I asked my manager if she wanted me to clock back in and drag my other nurses to the timeclock and she said yes.

That's insane! So basically you have to pay a copay just to use PTO. Sometimes you need to be out from work when you don't necessarily need the care of a doctor. Patients don't need your germs if you have a stomach bug, but it's stupid to have to go to the doctor for it.

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
Seriously that is dumb. Management has lost all common sense. I am so lucky I have the manager I have.

My first manager RUINED me. She was as good as it gets, and she spoiled me. I expected all other managers to be as good as her. We were at a tiny rural hospital. As long as we did our jobs and the patients got good care, she didn't sweat the small stuff. You and your husband both working night shift and you didn't have anyone to keep your kid? She'd let you put them in an empty room overnight, as long as it didn't happen often. I also saw her come in at 2 am in a nightgown, scrub a c section because we were busting at the seams, and then go back home to bed and make it back at 8 am to help out again.

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