Unprofessional Remark by Manager

[Nurse_Ratched]

While this is a seemingly trivial issue, it appears that I've gotten myself into potentially some hot water by accidentally calling the Nurse Manager unprofessional: long story short she did an audit of how often we properly charge out supplies to patients, and then made a list of people who do it properly. At the bottom of the list it said "If your name is not on the list then you don't help/work, or maybe the items were free on your shift". I, not knowing that it was her who wrote the statement, wrote her an email "I was reading the audit list in the break-room & I thought it was worded rather unprofessionally when it referred to people who fail to charge out items as people who don't work, don't help out or give away items for free. Yes I agree we need to charge all items, and I agree we, as a department, take a huge financial hit when items aren't properly scanned, but this is not an effective way to encourage people to scan out items." Now I'm being called into her office to "discuss this further". Funny thing is my name actually was on the list of those who properly charge supplies. I wrote her an email simply because many other nurses read her statement and were upset, frustrated and experienced a vast array of other negative emotions, ranging from feeling unappreciated to total hissy fits when they purposely refused to charge items out, "out of spite".

How am I the one who's wrong here??

If I was a N.M. and I said something that offended someone or was perceived as unprofessional/rude, I would want to know about it first-hand! I emailed her and only her about this, I have not discussed this with anyone else.

I'm starting to realize that she can be passive-aggressive, much to my dismay, because I like working in her department.

I need some pointers on what to say to her during our meeting to "discuss this".

Thanks!

LostAndConfused

[toomuchbaloney]

Be professional but honest with her.

You can't roll back what you said, now you have to walk that path and try to take some of the sting out of the words lest you feel the pain.

Good luck.

[Nurse_Ratched]

That'll take A LOT of lying & fake niceness..... I don't regret what I said, and I don't regret that I said it to her about her. Had I known it was her who posted it, I probably would have opened my email with "I need to talk to you about the audit list" and then said it to her in person that I thought it was an unprofessional remark. It's passive-aggressive BS to tell your staff nurses, who bust their butts everyday working through some insane volumes and doing a remarkable job, that they don't help/work or give stuff away for free. I didn't go to nursing school to be a medical biller. I went to school to be a nurse. Plenty of other facilities have medical billers that bill for all these items, staff don't have to worry about scanning/charging. I'm not a waitress and I'm not writing up a bill for my "customers".

[ritit123]

I will say that both my director of nursing and her assistant though brilliant and accomplished are both very unprofessional in the way they communicate with staff. I have never mentioned it to them, usually I just say yes and nod when I'm "in the office" but I as my superiors I have little respect for them as persons. Just as the poster above said, they are rude, passive aggressive and this never seems to get them anywhere. If anything they get so mad sometimes they literally turn blue and then it's gets very hard to keep a straight face. There was even one time when one of them was cursing me out so hard I wanted to give her a hug and tell her everything was going to be ok. Thank goodness I held back because she might have sent me home, she has a tendency to do that to people who **** her off.

[Nurse_Ratched]

ANd I was trying so hard at this job to keep my head low and my mouth shut! My brain-mouth-filter was clearly broken that day... Maybe I'll try that line with her.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Maybe she wants to discuss why you thought it was unprofessional, and gather ideas....or not.

The entire list idea--posting names in the break room?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?! Being embarrassed by having one's name on a posted list regarding what one does or does not do just causes everyone to get worked up, but not to change.

Perhaps this manager wants to address each person individually instead...

[TriciaJ, RN]

Rule #1: Be careful who you stick your neck out and go to bat for. Hissy fits and deliberately not charging items? Your coworkers are as unprofessional as your manager. When you meet with your manager, tell her you were really trying to be a "team player" and got drawn in to reacting to how upset everyone was. Tell her you realize their behaviour is unprofessional, but they were really feeling unappreciated. Ask her to show support (and tell her what that support would look like) and promise to encourage your coworkers to remember to put in charges. Hopefully she will see your calmness and professionalism, and you may be able to foster better relationships between her and the staff. Good luck.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

ANd I was trying so hard at this job to keep my head low and my mouth shut! My brain-mouth-filter was clearly broken that day... Maybe I'll try that line with her.

Tell her you were letting her know what the other nurses were saying and that you would like to help her engage the staff towards a better change.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Rule #1: Be careful who you stick your neck out and go to bat for. Hissy fits and deliberately not charging items? Your coworkers are as unprofessional as your manager. .

Who is having hissy fits? Who is deliberately, with intention, not charging out items? (I'm seriously asking, did I miss that? I went back and reread, and couldn't find where she said that)

If staff is not charging out items/charging them out inappropriately, the manager needs to figure out WHY - have people not been properly trained? What is the barrier to preventing them from doing it appropriately?

The manager absolutely was unprofessional, snarky and passive-aggressive. OP, good luck in that meeting!

[Nurse_Ratched]

My coworkers that the manager accused of "not working/helping" were deliberately not charging items. Yes, childish, I agree. But their childish behavior stemmed from great frustration & feeling completely unappreciated by the manager, and this was the only way at the time they could react. Thank you all for the replies. Going in with my head held high & sticking to my guns.

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Bottom line - you'll need to decide whether or not you believe it is your place to critique your manager directly. And it wouldn't hurt to acknowledge that your opinion on that point is not the one that will count in that upcoming conversation.

And ... how much this job is worth to you.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Ah yes - the "dead messenger" phenomenon. Incompetent managers must feel that the most effective way to hide is behind the bodies of all the people who tried to give them 'bad news' or tell them something that they did not want to know

As an ancient one, I have had the privilege to work with some really great managers. Their methods would typically be very different from the OP's situation. It would probably involve public, positive recognition for those who are doing the 'thing' correctly & one-on-one conversations with those who were not performing according to standards. The manager would investigate the situation to determine the 'why' of poor behavior and correct any systems problems first.... then (privately) addressing any behavioral issues. They don't engage in public shaming, power games or hissy fits.

They're an endangered species. SAVE THE COMPETENT MANAGERS!!!