Torn to pieces - Pls help?

[fedupfinally]

My boss says she has received several complaints about me. Nobody has ever come to me with "concerns with my performance". I will be completely honest in this post since I don't know anyone here. Some of the complaints include:

1) "Leaving the floor for extended periods of time": The only time I ever leave my floor is to either pick up blood from the lab or during my two 15-minute break and one 30-minute lunch break. And I ALWAYS ask for permission before I go outside. There are two other smokers on my floor and they live with the same rules I do. Our nurses station is broken into two sections, with more computers to chart on in the back. Often times I go back there to chart. I'm not a loud and rambunctious person. Many times the charge nurse or secretary will call my phone and I walk to where they are and say "Are you calling me? I'm right back here!" LOL I encouraged my boss to look at security cameras to see my movements throughout the hospital. Besides, I'm too busy to wander around the hospital!

2) "She doesn't answer/carry her phone": Actually I am one of the nurses who DOES carry her phone. There might be the rare occasion where I have both hands in a "sticky" situation (ie inserting a Foley, etc) and I'm unable to answer the phone. But if that's a sin... I'd rather be a sinner than breaking sterility, dirtying my phone...

3) "She gives narcotics at night when the patient doesn't get them during the day": I remember once losing track of time and forgetting to get pain meds for a patient. Of course, I was written up for that. Now I give pain meds as the patient requests (according to drs orders) and now it's too much. I will give in and say that I may be more likely to give pain medications (I work on a post-op floor BTW) after seeing my mother suffer with horrible pain due to cancer which claimed her life this year. I don't want to see anyone suffering. But I suppose it's the numbers I should worry about.

4) "She's not witnessed when getting narcotics": Honestly, there are NO nurses on my floor that stand and wait for you to waste narcotics. So why am I the only one targeted? If that nurse is running through the nurses station and I need her to witness, she would fingerprint the Pyxis and run off on whatever she was previously working on.

5) "She didn't turn the bed alarm on such and such patient": Patient safety is of great importance and so are bed alarms. There have been occasions where I've walked in a room and an alarm isn't on. Whether I did it or someone else did it (for example someone taking my pt to the restroom and forgetting to turn on the alarm) it's hard to tell. But yes, tell me about it when it occurs! Does it really need to involve being written up over? Matter of opinion I suppose. Now if it's an ongoing problem, that's another story.

So basically the meeting with my boss was nothing short of a Salem witch trial. Seriously. And because I'm being accused of using drugs I willingly took a urine test. I do take Lortab on rare occasions and Klonopin on a daily basis so I know at least the Klonopin will come back. But I have a legit prescription. And ironically, I went on Klonopin after going to my doctor and breaking down over the stress of my job and a few particular employees. But apparently the process is to declare your prescriptions after your drug test comes back positive. Sounds weird to me, but that's how they said it's done. Oh, and I'm suspended until the drug test comes back.

So with all that being said I am SO hurt, SO betrayed, and SO mad. Alot like a grieving process. Even with a clean drug test I know my boss is going to fire me based on accusations alone. My job was always one good thing going for me in my life. Especially after losing my mother (in a deep depression over that still).

Has anyone ever been through this? What do I do? How do I feel? Even if I am allowed to return to work, how do I work as an efficient nurse knowing I'm walking on glass and I don't know who will make something up next? I don't recall ever doing anything to make any nurses or supervisors target me. I know I have probably been withdrawn since losing my mother, but I sure as hell am not doing drugs! I love my job too much!

[leslie :-D]

If you resign you can't get unemployment. Most managers, as previously stated will terminate you once they have gone to these lenghts to write you up and give days off. You can be terminated without official "write ups" for immediate termination offences like sleeping on the job, impaired on the job, and abuse towards a patient amongst others.

actually, there are times you can resign and get unemployment...

if you can convince unemployment that you quit under duress.

whether one quits or is terminated, always apply for unemployment if circumstances at the workplace were such, that to stay there would have been detrimental to your health.

they listen to both sides of the story...that's their job.

leslie

[DixieRedHead, ASN, RN]

I hope the OP will let us know how this turned out.

[fedupfinally]

Yes, I will update everyone along the way.

I thought you couldn't get unemployment if you quit or get fired? And the max amt on unemployment doesn't come close to the income I'd lose. But something is better than nothing right? Well let's see... I went through this same game (write ups, general complaints from "everybody") when I was first hired as a new grad. With a new employee, esp a new grad, you are with a preceptor and the number of pts you get is gradually built up. On day 2 I had the max number of pts. I did more running than learning. It makes me sick when I see a new hire now only have 3 patients their 2nd or 3rd week. So there was a lot I was still unfamiliar with. So I was forced back (to my humiliation) on orientation. So some ppl automatically had a bad impression of me. But like I mentioned in a previous post, there was one particular nurse who wrote me up almost daily. And again noone came to me personally with any "concerns". I told my mgr "How am I supposed to learn the right way when I'm never told what I'm doing is wrong?" I was being written up on pts I had 3 months prior. Of course, I wasn't able to remember THAT particular pt and therefore couldn't defend myself. I wasn't fired but every day before work I would almost have what you'd think was a panic attack. At first, my dr put me on Lexapro. Then switched it to Celexa and added Klonopin. I'm still on it to this day because withdrawals are brutal and intolerable. Finally I made her switch me to night shift. I couldn't deal with the day shift people anymore.

So now here I am 2 years later going through the same game. But this time they stepped it up and have added accusations of drug abuse. That's going too far. It's sick.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

You are being"watched" and targeted for lateral

violence.

Get out now.

[I<3H2O, BSN, RN]

Recently had numerous nit picking complaints that equated to NOTHING more than someone's personal vendetta against me. After putting up with the nitpicking for a year i recently found a new job!

[fedupfinally]

That's basically what mine is: nitpicking. My boss says it's from more than one person so it has to be true. No, I know ppl are very suggestive and you get it in one persons head that there's a problem things come out of the blue from everywhere. I don't believe I'm quitting. That's just not who I am. Setting myself up for something bad I'm sure, but damn I'm just trying to do my job!

[NaKcl, BSN, RN]

"You are being"watched" and targeted for lateral

violence.

Get out now."

I agree with this.

Here is my thought. If they do not appreciate your job, then they do not deserve your effort to work there. I would look for a different job.

You already have two years of nursing experience, you are much more marketable than brand new nurses.

There will be lots of other employers would like to hire you.

I understand you want to stay in same employment for a long time, and it is kind of scary to move your job to a new facility. but it is not worth to take antianxiety/antidepressant or any medications to work with that type of enviornment.

Nursing itself is a stressful job already and when working environment is like that, and all the negative vibes make even harder to work there. Whatever they are doing is their loss.

Here is one thing you might want to do. If your manager is actually accusing you of something that you didn't do, tell the manager that you want to have a meeting to discuss whatever they are accusing you about, but you want your manager's bosses to attend the meeting as well.

And, also mention this to your manager that you can sue them for their false accusation.

and save all the coversation(e-mails), between your manager and you, for your record.

Start looking for a different job.

Good luck!!!

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

Unfortunately, all it takes is one strong individual who doesn't like you, to contaminate an entire hall/floor/wing/unit.

Had it happen to me. Seen it happen to others. In order to make themselves feel good and just about their dislike, they attach ugly qualities that don't exist. They complain about things that aren't true.

I believe it's a self defense mechanism used by ugly people to explain why they're ugly "There HAS to be something wrong with you, to explain why you're their target." Of course I may be overthinking the whole thing. Some people are just plain mean for no reason.

Here's the bad news. In my experience it doesn't get better.

Good luck to you. Watch your back.

[Imafloat, BSN, RN]

Oh life in a dysfunctional unit, how I loathe thee.

OP, you need to decide what you want to do and do it. If you are going to leave, find a new job and leave. If you are going to stay, put on a hard hat and pack a lunch, because you're in for a long haul.

I have experience working in a toxic workplace so my observations aren't directed to you per se, they are what ive observed in my 25 years of being employed.

The drug test.... Let the drug test do the talking. Under no circumstance do you need to talk about your anxiety, your prescription meds, your home drug test, or your fears about the drug test at work or with your coworkers. I'm not saying you are guilty, but, a lot of times, this chatter can (and will be) construed as guilt. You know the saying, if the shoe fits wear it. You say you are innocent, so hold your head high at work and be innocent.

Don't trust anyone at work, unless you work with your mom or husband. Toxic workplaces are usually led by ineffective management. Toxic workplaces get a dog eat dog mentality. People clamoring to be awesome will sell anyone down the river if it makes them look better to management or raises their perceived status in the unit.

Take an honest look at yourself, this is hard to do. Are there any behaviors you have at work that may cause your coworkers to be mean to you. I don't want to seem like I'm being mean, but sometimes we do things we are unaware of. I used to complain about things that couldn't be changed. I realized one day how much one of my coworkers complained and how I didn't enjoy talking to her because she complained so much. Then it struck me that I complained a lot too! I felt the things I complained about were valid, but honestly, nothing was going to change, complaining just riled me up and probably made my coworkers avoid me. I decided to suck it up and deal with my job the 12 hours I was there without complaining. I ended up having more time to get things done and had more credibility.

[suanna]

LOTS of advice- My best guess- something about you or the way you do your job isn't a good fit for the culture of the floor you are working. It may not be your clinical skills. It may be something trivial or difficult to measure- I don't know you or your work so I can't say what to change. I can guess that when you get a laundry list of issues, most of which are fabrications, but all of which are offences that can document an inability to do your job safely, SOMEONE- maybe a lot of someones, want you gone. Look for a new job while you can still list your current employer as a reference. Odds are, if they are trying to document you out of the job, they will be happy to give you a glowing referal. (I had a boss that only wrote glowing letters of recommendation for staff she was desperate to get rid of). If you wait till they succeed in documenting you out, you will still be out of a job, but unlikely to be able to use your experience to get a new one.

[fedupfinally]

I finally decided to try sleeping, now that I'm awake with a clear head I am MEGA depressed. I can't believe this is real. It's tearing me up thinking I may never have the chance to work there anymore. There are so many people I'm friends with that I know are on my side. BTW I've only discussed the situation with 2 of my closest friends. They want out too, especially now. But I just want things back to the way they once were. Way before all this mess started. Doesn't help it's a dark, rainy day. I'm already depressed as it is. What makes things worse is I know I'm innocent. If I did do these things I could work on changing or something. As far as leaving the floor for a break, I already ask for permission from the charge nurse as it is. What would I have to do? Have them sign a piece of paper stating I did ask and this is what time I left and what time I came back? Have them write down times they "didn't know where I was" and document that I was in this pts room or that pts room? That's not a way to work. Seriously, if I had my way, I would have a big meeting with my manager and those accusing me if they chose to show their faces. I'll bet their tone would completely change because they are full of it. Man, I don't want to be depressed!!!

[fedupfinally]

Well just got word from my boss that I'm clear to come back to work! Drug test was 100% clean. No drugs. I'm so happy that the drug test was able to speak for me. I don't do drugs, don't steal drugs, nothing. She was much nicer to me but we're going to meet Monday to go over stuff. At least maybe she can listen to me better knowing some of the (drug abuse/stealing) complaints aren't true.