Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

[General E. Speaking, RN]

Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

[SnowboardLovinRN]

Each time you are rude to me while I am passing report after a hectic shift I WILL remember next time when you happen to report off to me like a chicken with your head cut off.. and please do not think it won't happen. It IS the way of the world. You put off an err like you are going to write me up for something stupid? You bet your butt if you do the next time you give me report that is something that won't be forgotten!

Remember when receiving report it is never fair to judge the off going nurse, because you never know what happened through the last 12 hours while you were resting your pretty little head on your pillow. Ok, roll your eyes again... so mature.

And to those who graciously take my report when I've had a horrible day, thank you. Your respect will be returned and remembered.

[franciscangypsy]

* I wish you wouldn't complain loudly about how much you hate being here -- not only in the halls, but in patients' rooms. It puts me and the patients in a bad mood and it's getting to the point that I hate being at work when you're there

* Thanks for your bright smiles and generous help. You made a horrible shift that much better.

* Thanks for sharing your abundant knowledge; I learn so much from you

* PLEASE don't grill me about the smallest details in report if you're going to look it up yourself anyway. I believe in being detailed, but it's 8am already and I'm exhausted. You can easily look up labs from days ago on your own time without me sitting there watching you in frustration because I still have one more patient to give you. Please do me that small favor since I already helped you send off a pt to a test who wasn't even mine. And PLEASE stop running away in the middle of report for small things. They can be taken care of when we're done. I know you're trying to be thorough, but you are usually the first to want to get out early at the end of your shift because you want to spend time with your kids. I don't have kids, but I do have an urgent date with my pillow. So could we get this done with?

* Please don't leave your phone and pager on your computer and walk away from it. If someone needs you, they won't be able to reach you and someone may get hurt. Don't be offended if I hunt you down and hand them back to you. It's unsafe.

* Please don't riddle your every day conversation with strong language. I don't swear and don't appreciate it. I understand the need to vent and will let it go, but it does bother me. Thanks to those of you kind enough to apologize even though I don't say anything and am not meaning to give you dirty look (and I sincerely hope I'm not). I really do appreciate it. That kind of sensitivity is rare.

* You are an AWESOME charge nurse. It's a joy to work with you. Thanks for being so supportive and amazing. You're my hero and I want to be you, minus the whole charge nurse thing.

*Thanks to those nurses who received report from me on Thursday morning. I had a truly awful shift and gave the worst report of my life. Thanks for putting up with it and be so nice about it. It means a lot.

* Thanks to my aides. You guys bend over backwards for me and I really appreciate it.

* Please don't say horrible things about other nurses/aides/whoever when I'm around. I don't want to know. I'll figure it out for myself and I'd really rather not have a bad attitude toward them because of something you said. I have to work with them too and would prefer to have a good working relationship if it is at all possible. On the other hand, please don't be offended if I walk away when you start gossiping. I don't think I'm better than you. I'm uncomfortable and don't really want to know what you're saying.

* Please don't one-up me with horrible shift stories. I just finished having an awful shift, you reamed me over something that was passed on to me wrong, and I want to cry. I'm trying to vent and feel a little better for missing that one small thing and all you can do is mention how much more horrible YOUR last shift is. I'm sure it was awful and I'm sorry. Could you just listen to me for a second, though? I'll listen to you later. Really. I just need to feel better and you're not helping.

[coastalcattery]

Just because you're in the parking lot at 0700 does not mean you're "on time".

Why do you insist on first lunch and then always leave late for it, resulting in e everyone's lunch starting late?

In no setting is it okay to give a supp, put the pt on a commode, and then report off for your lunch. "But you said I always leave late for lunch"...

Okay, I feel better!

[GHGoonette, BSN, RN]

Ah yes...re deodorant:

"If you will insist on wearing a spray that smells like insecticide, kindly refrain from dousing the entire change room with it! Use your stinking deodorant very, very discreetly!"

Re "crowning glory":

"And please stop braiding your hair! I know you think it makes you look like a cute 50-year old, but neither I nor you have any idea what vermin you may pick up and which may be concealed by your tightly-woven locks!"

And no, I'd never have the heart to actually say anything like that....

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

And we wonder why nurses are so mean.

[NCRN2010, BSN, RN]

Can you shut up and take this report? I would like to leave now.

You are not the only one that works hard here, you just complain the most.

How many smoke breaks do you need??

You are real good at telling nurses how to do their job, but can you practice what you preach?

Nursing is not a fashion show. Take off all that jewelry and makeup.

Can't your husband/children make a decision without having to call here?

I know you are diverting narcotics. You will be caught!!

Did you have to work hard to become such a ******, or does it just come naturally for you?

[nursel56]

And we wonder why nurses are so mean.

Didn't you tell us we were mean about 4 pages ago and state your intention to skip this thread and keep your opinion to yourself?

[MzMouse]

You are welcome; I was very happy to help. It would be nice if you would return the favor once in a while.

Before you grab your bag and head out the door for lunch could you at least look around and pretend you care that one of the rest of us might need help?

Stop bringing all of your personal problems to work each and every day. We all have things in our lives we are dealing with.

[TheCareerStudent]

Your here to work not get a date. :loveya:

[NurseGuy30]

--Thanks for apologizing for being snarky. I know it was a stressful day, so really--don't worry about it.

--I'm sorry it took me so long to realize what a good nurse you are.

--No, we don't usually get along, and there's some tension. But I've seen you work, and I know your a good nurse who takes good care of your patients. And I tell others that, too.

--Stop trying to look cute and chatting it up, I'm trying to tell you your patient looks ten times crappier than he did yesterday and has neuro status changes, and nobody else has noticed.

--Please listen when I bring up patient safety concerns. You know I've been proven right before, and it took you a while to clean up the blood.

--Yes, I know your having a conversation. Please take ten seconds to answer my question so I can help you care for your patient. No, I don't think his bladder will wait for you to finish.

--Please don't tell me that your patient satting 86% is fine because "he does it all the time." I'm not a nurse yet, but I'm not that ignorant.

--Thanks for putting oxygen on that patient who satted 86%, even though the patient wasn't yours, because our nutty coworker refused to.

--No, I really don't feel like going far outside of my CNA scope of practice to save you one or two minutes. Yes, I will have the nerve to refuse that request. So please don't ask.

--Those words of encouragement you have for me while I'm in nursing school--someday I hope I can repay you. It means more than you know.

--You're an awesome nurse. I hope I'll be that good.

--You really impressed me by the way you treat your neediest patients. I hope I'm as good a CNA as you are. I'm glad I got the chance to tell you this on one of your crappiest days, and I'll pretend I didn't hear your voice crack when you thanked me. I've got your back.

--I really don't care what the gentleman did or was accused of doing. Don't ever tell me you don't care whether your patient lives or dies. We're in nursing, not criminal justice. If you know something criminal he did, and it's obviously no danger to us, keep it under your hat. Stop googling his name.

--I'll be honest in dealing with you. If you snap at me, I'll bite back. I'll establish some boundaries. I will not ever hold a grudge. I'll ask for your help when I need it, whether or not I think you want to help me. I'll help you whenever I can, and tell you when I'm honestly too busy. I'll do my best to lighten your load. I'll be honest about any mistakes I make and bring up patient concerns I have. I hope you'll be honest with me in exactly the same way, and we'll get to respect each other. Maybe eventually we'll get to be friends. You wouldn't be the first.

--I'll pretend not to notice that you stayed a little late so you could walk out with and chat with me. But don't think I don't appreciate it.

--You annoy the crap out of me, because you're just like me. I know I annoy the crap out of you, too. But I'm glad we've gotten to be good friends.

--I had more fun at work today than I have ever had at any job, and it's because of you guys.

--Thanks.

[casi, ASN, RN]

Please don't chuck a hissy fit when I have to pass off three medications to be given. I had 24 patients on my shift, you only have 8. I had the shift from hell and am rather proud that I got the amount of work done that I did. Didn't you notice that I showed up late to report after the paramedics left with one of my residents?

When I am getting report for up to 27 patients I really don't need to know every blood sugar or every normal lab. Just give me the basics. PS I would really like to know in report when someone fell down within the last 24 hours and broke their arm. Finding out because I'm seeing a bunch of new orders in the MAR to order a shoulder stabalizer and then hunting down an x-ray report isn't really the best way to find out. But heck I knew that their HS blood sugar was 125!

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

-I really think you have severe mental issues.

- you might think everyone loves you, but you're dead wrong. Surgeons roll their eyes when you leave the room.

- the way you act at work makes you seem like an enormous ****. You are married with kids- and disappearing with the surgical residents when you are still on the clock is not right. Yes, it was me that made an anonymous phone call to the corporate ethics committee.

- Times are changing- people won't tolerate your bullying ways anymore.

- pick up after yourself- it is not in my job description to put your meds away, pick up your lead apron etc.

- thank you for being a decent human being and staying out of the drama. If more people do this, things might just change around here:up: