Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Nurses Relations Video Nurse Life

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You are reading page 8 of Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it.

MA Nurse

676 Posts

Specializes in NICU, Telephone Triage.

I would say "Please get your tubes tied." "How could you possibly think of naming your baby that?!"

NurseCherlove

367 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg; Psych; Tele.
allison2008 said:

We had a LOL come in once who had an asthma exac. And also was s/p hip replacement 6 something weeks ago. Her daughter flipped the "I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE IN NURSING" card to everyone in the ER. ER doc wrote orders for soma, norco, xanax and demerol and Med surg had a bed so we got her up to the floor quickly..

About 1930. at 2200 rapid response called to the room, pt unresponsive.. When ER staff arrived chg nurse asked the ER nurse what she had given her, and the answer was nothing, just Normal saline. Well the nurse on med surg had given her drug cocktail at around 2100. I guess her daughter, the almighty nurse, forgot to tell the nurse on Med surg that she already gave mom her meds at 2000 because she thought that the pharmacy didn't send them up fast enough. mom ended up on a vent. Sheesh.

WOW!! What an idiot!

NurseCherlove

367 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg; Psych; Tele.
clee1 said:
I actually did this:

At about 4:30am, I had had enough! :devil: Marching into his room and closing the door, I approached the head of his bed. Putting both hands on the mattress and leaning down to about a foot from his face, I said: "Mr. XXXX, let me share a little something with you. We've got your number! We know why you are here, and guess what? You ARE NOT getting any narcotics here today, nor are you going to be fed. The doctor didn't order you anything, and we can't give you anything w/o orders. So.... quit being a pain in the azz, stay off the call bell, and if you don't like it you can carry your drunk, dope-seeking azz out of here!":trout:

You totally rock! ROFL!

I get so sick of those drug-seekers!! I know they "have a problem", but Hell, why make it mine too?

NurseCherlove

367 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg; Psych; Tele.
dolce said:

To the very unhelpful family members who accompany patients: please do not try to engage me in conversation about your own health problems. If I wanted to hear about your health history I would have asked about it to you. Do not interrupt my health history interview with the patient to share details about your own history. Quite frankly, I don't care!
Grrrrrr!! I hate that! Just gotta jack those jaws and waste my time! Why in god's green earth would they think I care?!? Well, I do know why...I'm too dang nice and I hate that about myself. But I'm getting better and better all the time about that - maintaining my boundaries that is...Sorry sidebar there.

--I actually do say to the patients that make negative comments about the hospital and compare it to the excellent experience that they had at the last facility, "Why don't you go there next time?"

Good for you!

Rnandsoccermom

172 Posts

I hate it when every family member is a "nurse, doctor or lawyer".

I purposely use only medical terminology when they tell me that, then wait for them to ask what everything I just told them means. At some point they all fess up, I make sure they know my name too, so they don't try it again with me.

We have one nurse that told a family member "If your lawyer is competent, he understands what I can and can not do for your father legally, so why don't you go back and ask him again? I'm sure if he is a good lawyer he'll tell you exactly what I just told you." Shut that family member up.

lil' girl, LPN

512 Posts

Specializes in LTC.

To the most demanding, attention seeking, manipulative resident on the floor that asks me what is wrong with you today? I would love to say, well other than the fact that my guts feel like they are falling out because I am sick on my stomach but I had to come to work because it is MY weekend to work and if I miss a weekend day I have to make it up on my weekend off and you are ringing that call bell like I have nothing else to do there is absolutely nothing wrong with me! Ding, ding, ding!!!

bluesnurse

99 Posts

Specializes in Cardiology.

I work in an office setting, so the peeves are a little different, but I'd still LOVE to give it to 'em straight.

1. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. I will call in your rx refill to the pharmacy today. It will probably be near the close of business, after I've dealt with the 36 people who have been waiting months for an appointment, half a dozen triage work-ins, and umpteen add-on procedures. It's a shame your cruise to Hawaii leaves in 2 hours. Next time count your pills and plan accordingly ... a week or more in advance would be good.

2. Yes, I know you just saw Dr. A. and she changed the dose of one of your meds. Did you LISTEN to a word she said? Telling me the pill is pink is not useful information. Next time please bring a notebook or your secretary so I do not have to waste time hunting down the note and doing a review session on the phone.

3. If you do not understand the doctor's accent, again, do NOT call me 15 minutes after you get home complaining about "those &^%*& foreigners" and asking me for a review session. Either admit to him that you need clarification or choose from one of the 20+ other MD's in the group. Like now, while you're here.

4. Leaving repeated voice mails will not result in a return call any sooner.

5. I don't make the schedule. I don't control how long the MD spends with each pt. If you have a problem with the above, take it up with HER, no me.

6. Corollary: if it were *your* mother in there with acute SOB, 3+pitting edema, and a SBP of 76, would *you* like the doctor to move things along so the next person is not late for her hair appointment?

7. Don't tell me you quit smoking "15 minutes ago." It's bad enough we have to fumigate half the office when you leave.

8. Flattery, chocolate, and holiday gifts are much appreciated but they will not get you more samples. Some of them come three pills to a pack now and we only get a dwindling number. We know whether or not you truly need them.

9. Do not check your or your loved one's pulse and blood pressure every 15 minutes and call me every time it is marginally high or low. Even if it started out just fine, sooner or later one of our heads is going to explode!

10. Hugs are always welcome! Don't be shy! We actually do love most of our patients ... and we have the luxury of rolling the phones at 5:00

RN.38SPCL

58 Posts

Specializes in LTC, MNGMNT,CORRECTIONS.

I work in corrections. It is appropriate for me to say:

"Get out of here and don't come back, I hate your guts".

" You better really be sick, if you're not, you won't like the results".

" No you can't have Vicodin for a 3 yr old injury, are you nuts?"

" Yeh right, sure your kid dumped your bottle of Morphine in the toilet the very day you filled it; and you need another refill?"

" No, we will not prescribe sleeping pills for you so you can sleep your sentence away. We don't care if you can't sleep."

"I can't get a vicodin for my bad back, how is it you got 6 different doctors in 3 different towns to prescribe all this oxycontin for your back? All within a few days of each other?" No I won't refill the empty bottles you just had filled 4 days before you got arrested!"

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

Specializes in Making the Pt laugh..

No you ARE right, you don't realy need this procedure, we are only doing it for;

1/ I need the practice

2/ I have nothing better to do

3/ I am only doing this to look busy and avoid my paperwork

4/ There is a camera taping this and everyone is in the staffroom watching and having a giggle.....it's a slow day! :smackingf

kprnc58

4 Posts

Why are we afraid to talk to our pt's about their weight? It's time we treat their obesity as the disease condition it is, and educate them about the consequences of it: sleep apnea, diabetes, heart disease and osteoarthritis to name a few. It's obvious that many physicians are uncomfortable with this topic as well. I've cared for many pt's who were oblivious to the fact that their 300 lb. weight was the reason they were having a knee replacement at 40 y.o. and that they could likely improve the pain by losing weight. We are doing them a disservice by not talking to them about their weight.

BeachBayNurse

96 Posts

Specializes in Everytype of med-surg.

How much time I could save if I could just say a few words of wisdom:

1. I understand that you haven't had a bath in eight hours, however talk to management about letting me have time to go to the bathroom at least every eight hours, then we can talk about baths, linen changes, and if you really need to have the CNA shave you even though you will only be here for 24 hrs!!

2. Pain medication is not like candy, even though in both situations, alot is not better than some! I have seen a family bully a nurse into giving more than was safe, and then were totally shocked as why to Uncle Fred was very hard to awake:idea:

3. You have a clock in your room, please consult it before telling me you have been waiting 45 min for us after you called, if you cannot tell the difference between 5 and 45, you need a head CT!

athflvr

23 Posts

calliesue said:
One other thing,I have a southern nurse friend who calls everyone

" sugar". She has been overheard telling her rehab pts who don't want to do anything for themselves (not can't but don't want to)

I work in a hospital that tends to have a large "underserved population. (I expect many of our frequent flyers "home" for the holidays!) I'd love to answer the phone "Radisson of the homeless, this is athflvr, may I help you."