Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 32

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   One Flew Over
    To 10B: If making trouble for me is what gets you through the day, than by all means. But I really tune out everything you say
    Last edit by One Flew Over on Jun 24, '08
  2. by   AngelfireRN
    Go away. Please, just go away. I am sick and I am sore and I do not have the patience nor the inclination to deal with you tonight. I'm so sorry that that microscopic piece of metal that I have to have a magnifying glass to even see is paining you to the point of distraction. It's called being careful. Look before you grab that part, and wear your racking-fracking gloves!

    OK, I'll admit it, I really should NOT be here tonight. I have pharyngitis, sinusitis, I have a torn muscle in my back, I can not take my meds because half a blamed Flexeril puts me on my rump, and I still have an hour's drive home. I'm febrile, and I feel lousy. Thank GOD it has been relatively quiet, and I only have 1/2 an hour to go.

    But, in spite of my bad day, the kid my age that I worked on in the wreck I barely missed on my way to work, that had to be life-flighted to a Level 1 trauma center, had it so much worse. Restrained, ejected, airbags didn't deploy, found him face-down in a parking lot. Paralyzed on his left side, point tenderness in his c-spine, likely a fx. I beat the ambulance there and was late to work, but I did not care, and I prayed for him all the rest of the way. So for what I'd like to say to him....get well, hon.....please, please, get well.
  3. by   Ms Kylee
    For crying out loud.. when I tell you to stay in bed, STAY IN BED. I don't have time to run into your room every 10 minutes to make sure your sorry butt isn't on the floor. I have 18 other and sicker patients that need help that I can't help because I'm too busy running into your room. Go.To.Sleep.Right.Now.

    And a BIG Thank You to the VA for dumping him on us. We're never going to get rid of him now.
  4. by   gwapalicious
    TRUST ME I'M A NURSE
    rdnrs:
    CLEAR THE WAY, I"M A NURSE

    I'M NOT CLEANING THAT UP, AM NOT A NURSE AID, I'M A NURSE.


    hahaha... I'm just kidding! : )
  5. by   jessiern
    Why do we always assume it is about drugs? (asked by a patient to me after I ask if he takes illegal substances)

    Well, possibly the urine that I saw ejected from your penis-we actually *gasp* did a tox screen. Yep, it gave it away. All those positives make us "think its about the drugs".
  6. by   cursenurse
    Quote from Babs0512

    Me: what medications are you on? Patient : gives long list

    Me: do your have any allergies? Patient: Yeah, Tylenol, MOtrin, Toradol, Compazine, Nubain - the only thing that works for my Migranes is Demerol, Morphine or Dilaudid"

    Me: Yeah okay, so what your telling me is your drug seeking again!!

    Never said these things, but sure would like too

    Honestly, I'm just happy if they know what medicines they take. Most act like I'm stupid- like they should really know the medicines they take everyday!

    Also pt's will tell you they almost died when they took some ABT. Of course they don't know which one- that's irrelevant.
  7. by   santhony44
    Get a job. You'd have a lot less time to sit around thinking about what might be wrong with you if you were working. If you were working, instead of sitting around watching TV all day, then you might not even need those pills for the swelling in your feet and legs. You could breathe better, too, because you wouldn't have time to smoke all those cigarettes you smoke while you're sitting there watching TV.

    Seriously, get a job. There are people right here in your little town who are actually less able to work than you, who go to work every single day. It really grinds my gears that those folks are supporting you.

    Get a J-O-B.
  8. by   rph3664
    Quote from santhony44
    Get a job. You'd have a lot less time to sit around thinking about what might be wrong with you if you were working. If you were working, instead of sitting around watching TV all day, then you might not even need those pills for the swelling in your feet and legs. You could breathe better, too, because you wouldn't have time to smoke all those cigarettes you smoke while you're sitting there watching TV.

    Seriously, get a job. There are people right here in your little town who are actually less able to work than you, who go to work every single day. It really grinds my gears that those folks are supporting you.

    Get a J-O-B.
    "Oh, but I can't get a job! I'll lose the SSI benefits I get for my primary diagnosis of alcoholism and morbid obesity, as will my kids for the ADHD they were diagnosed with before their first birthday."
  9. by   BlueRidgeHomeRN
    Quote from rph3664
    "oh, but i can't get a job! i'll lose the ssi benefits i get for my primary diagnosis of alcoholism and morbid obesity, as will my kids for the adhd they were diagnosed with before their first birthday."
    :yeahthat::yeahthat:and my dh teaches all those
    poor"mentally ill" kids..one parent (morbidly obese -anxiety primary for ssdi) has five kids with adhd, bi-polar, or both. funny, they're fine at school.....and during the summer:angryfire
  10. by   gentle
    To the family,
    "Your family member is only alive because of the high etoh level in his blood stream. Otherwise there is know way he could have fallen from the top a 2story house and only sustained a broken arm, questionable cracked lumbar vertebrae, and pneumo (no icu stay for this one). Seriously, I really do think it was the ETOH which made his body so limber that when it bounced on the ground, there was very little damage. I'm sure he didn't feel the bounce."

    To the patient, "Hey, did you feel the bounce?"

    To the patient, "it is never a good idea to roof a house after you've been drinking."
    Last edit by gentle on Jul 5, '08
  11. by   gentle
    I do get concerned about family dynamics when you are willing for me to use restraints on the spouse and don't want to visit.
    Last edit by gentle on Jul 5, '08
  12. by   gentle
    Quote from santhony44
    Get a job. You'd have a lot less time to sit around thinking about what might be wrong with you if you were working. If you were working, instead of sitting around watching TV all day, then you might not even need those pills for the swelling in your feet and legs. You could breathe better, too, because you wouldn't have time to smoke all those cigarettes you smoke while you're sitting there watching TV.

    Seriously, get a job. There are people right here in your little town who are actually less able to work than you, who go to work every single day. It really grinds my gears that those folks are supporting you.

    Get a J-O-B.

    After you get this job, please stop telling me how hard your life is.

    Seriously, I understand that you were up since 5am this morning but so was I -- insomnia.

    Yes, I heard you when you said, you've been on your feet all day --so have I.

    Yes, I realize that you have been engaged here in aphysically demanding environment -- so have I.

    Oh, and the mental fatigue you've encountered today. Wow those were some serious discussions with the canned food, or . . . was it the bananas that you put on the shelf before I purchased them.

    Except for the last sentence in the last paragraph, this actually happened.
  13. by   talaxandra
    Yes, I know you're hot. I heard you tell me that the first six times you buzzed to tell me. You're not febrile, you're not hot to the touch, I've given you a damp wash cloth and turned on the fan I searched the store room for.

    Right now, though, I'm a little preoccupied with the patient next door who suddenly developed 9/10 abdo pain, shot his BP up to 215/118 (from 125/80 two hours ago) and has dropped his Hb from 122 to 81 in twelve hours, all two days post renal biopsy.

    So concerned am I that I've got an ICU nurse, the clinical coordinator, the covering resident, the med reg and the ICU reg with him. It would be fantastic if you could stop pressing the $%^^!@# bell every three minutes so I could be with him too. Thank you for your understanding. And yes, I'm very sorry we woke you attending to this little problem.
    Last edit by talaxandra on Jul 12, '08 : Reason: typo

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