Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 197

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   uRNmyway
    How about:
    "If you can't afford to take care of the children you already have, for God's sakes, PLEASE either go to the local Planned Parenthood clinic for some free birth control, or learn to keep those darned legs closed! I am TIRED of having my tax dollars go to supporting you and your kids because you 'can't' work! And when your kids grow up thinking its normal to sign that welfare application the day of your 18th birthday and never attempt to work a day in their ****ed lives, it is NOT ok!!!"
  2. by   uRNmyway
    OOOh, and:
    "When you go get plastic surgery in a third world country, please do not be surprised at the sub-par care you receive. Please do not be shocked when you come back home with severe infections. Please do not be amazed when your breasts look like they are rotting and start to fall off. And then please do not be startled when some of your healthcare workers comment on the perils of getting said procedures in those lovely third world countries."
  3. by   uRNmyway
    I have also told a patient who was driving us nuts with her complaints:
    "Do you want to know why you are constipated? Its probably because you are on more narcotics than most hospice patients I know. Yes, I know your stomach hurts. It hurts because you are constipated. You know what would help? Stop abusing narcotics.
    Do you want to know why you are always out of breath and need people to wheel you back to the unit after every ****ed time you go to the smoking area? Well first, it might be the fact that you smoke 3 packs a day and have been diagnosed with COPD for years now, and still haven't quit smoking. Second, it might be that you keep missing your respiratory treatments because you are out smoking. Third, it might be because every time you decide to go out smoking, you take off your 4L/min O2 that you desperately need to keep your O2 sat levels at an acceptable level. So unless you want to start being more proactive in your own health choices and try to get better, please stop complaining to us about every little thing we are supposedly doing wrong when all it is doing is taking us away from the bedside of people who actually WANT to be better and go home. Please stop insisting that we drop everything when you do come back from smoking to now call back the Resp Tech who just left the unit to continue her rounds, because you werent present for your scheduled treatment."

    I realize I am going to have to tone down the tough love now that I am in the US. Man, Im going to miss it lol. I was the brutal honesty queen at my old job. Other nurses would usually come to me when they had PITA patients no one else could handle...
  4. by   AngelfireRN
    Quote from Jeweles26
    I realize I am going to have to tone down the tough love now that I am in the US. Man, Im going to miss it lol. I was the brutal honesty queen at my old job. Other nurses would usually come to me when they had PITA patients no one else could handle...
    Don't tone it down! Come work with me, we'd get along famously, I think!
  5. by   uRNmyway
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    Don't tone it down! Come work with me, we'd get along famously, I think!
    Hey, at this point, if you can get me a job, I just might!! 3 years med-surg, with almost 2 years mother-baby in the middle of all that, know anyone who is hiring?
  6. by   Szasz_is_Right
    Quote from Jeweles26
    I realize I am going to have to tone down the tough love now that I am in the US. Man, Im going to miss it lol. I was the brutal honesty queen at my old job. Other nurses would usually come to me when they had PITA patients no one else could handle...
    I believe a big portion of the U.S. population needs your kind of "tough love".
  7. by   uRNmyway
    Quote from Szasz_is_Right
    I believe a big portion of the U.S. population needs your kind of "tough love".
    Unfortunately, I don't think your butt-kissing HR departments would be real happy with it!
  8. by   Szasz_is_Right
    Quote from Jeweles26
    Unfortunately, I don't think your butt-kissing HR departments would be real happy with it!
    Sadly, you're right. They placate idiocy.
  9. by   AngelfireRN
    I'm down in Alabama, working in a general practice/pain management practice. If you're anywhere in the area, PM me and let's chat.
  10. by   uRNmyway
    I wonder if we could have a day where nurses go sit in those cushy HR offices, and those guys come do our jobs. I think it would definitely help them see our side of the story a bit more.
    Although I guess getting people to be more proactive in their health choices is not really in their best interests, as then they would be more healthy, and go to the hospital less.
    Anyhoo, AngelFire, sorry for digressing, love this thread!
  11. by   AngelfireRN
    "Yes, honey, this is what I deal with EVERY DAY."

    To my DH, who came to pick up our son at lunch yesterday, and got to witness a dismissal and a refusal, for medication abuse and for demanding 'the med I want or I won't pay'.

    This whole time, he thought I was exaggerating. No, we didn't do them in full view of him, he got to see the patients stomp out bellowing about the injustice of it all afterward.
  12. by   AngelfireRN
    "No, Sir. Medication X does not stay in your system for 90 days. No, the fact that 'your bladder doesn't empty' will not affect the fact that you've been positive for Med. X 4 times. No, you can't 'come back after a while'. You're dismissed. Period. End of story."

    To the patient who insisted that he knew it stayed in your system that long. He read it on the Internet.
  13. by   AngelfireRN
    Quote from Jeweles26
    Unfortunately, I don't think your butt-kissing HR departments would be real happy with it!
    That's why I love my clinic. We don't have an HR department!

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