Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 194

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   Hygiene Queen
    Quote from gitanorn
    ...sometimes they don't realize by them touching the equipment or fooling around with any medical machine, they give us more work to do on account of their good intentions
    ... or that they can kill somebody!
  2. by   NACAT
    True words. On both counts.

    I get my panties in a bunch when the family clog up the room with NO regard for any of the other patients/ residents. So help me, one of these days, as I'm providing care for resident and a roommates family member peeks through/ opens the privacy curtan, I'm going to throw a soiled wet wipe at them.
  3. by   AngelfireRN
    "No, ma'am. Yes, I'm quite sure."

    To the craniorectal inversion who asked if I could do a UA on her to see if she had an ear infection. No, I'm not making it up. I was proud of me. I held it together. The rest of the clinic was already out the back door, howling.
  4. by   nrsang97
    Quote from AngelfireRN
    "No, ma'am. Yes, I'm quite sure."

    To the craniorectal inversion who asked if I could do a UA on her to see if she had an ear infection. No, I'm not making it up. I was proud of me. I held it together. The rest of the clinic was already out the back door, howling.

    How did you get through that with a straight face? I would have lost it LOL
  5. by   AngelfireRN
    Quote from nrsang97
    How did you get through that with a straight face? I would have lost it LOL
    Shock, initially. Then I was looking for the camera. I was sure she (or someone) was shining me. By the time I realized she was serious (ANY infection in your body will show up in your urine, dontcha know), it was a struggle, lol.

    And once she left, I laughed till the tears ran.
  6. by   luckynurse_1234
    I am not a faceless robot that exists to wait on you hand and foot! I bother to learn your name and treat you like a human being so please do the same!
  7. by   tenjuna
    Yes, I am a male nursing student. I have a "nursing student" patch on my scrubs, am 6'1", weigh 280, shaved bald, and have fists the size of hams...what gave it away?

    No, I am not smart enough to go to med school. Actually, maybe I AM smart enough to not go to med school.

    No, I am not gay...why do you ask, are you interested?

    No, I am not interested in meeting your granddaughter, who is likely a bridge troll with lip hair long enough to braid with a personality to match.

    No, I will not clean your hoo-hah again whilst you close your eyes with a grin on your face. Besides, I have seen roadkill that smells better.

    No, I cannot sneak over to the med cart and swipe "just a little" and keep it between us. But here is a hammer, feel free to smack yourself with it until you feel a rush...I will even help you and "keep it just between us".

    No, I do not know when your care provider will be here, but I will make sure to call him/her and tell them to take their time.

    No, I will not go and fetch your family some McDonald's...here is a chair lift so they can attempt to get their combined weight of 13 tons off the floor.

    No, I do not know what I am doing...see these books? I am a nursing student you dumba** OF COURSE I don't know what I am doing (yet).
    Last edit by tenjuna on Aug 15, '12
  8. by   star.crush
    I would like to tell some of the family members that are mean a thing or two.
    Last edit by star.crush on Aug 15, '12 : Reason: misspell
  9. by   star.crush
    Hmm ok
    Last edit by star.crush on Aug 15, '12 : Reason: Misspell
  10. by   AngelfireRN
    Heron, I just love you.
  11. by   tnbutterfly
    This thread has gone way off track with many personal attacks and name-calling.

    Closing for a time out.
  12. by   tnbutterfly
    Many off-topic, rude, and divisive posts removed.

    Thread reopened.

    Please stay on topic.
  13. by   RNsRWe
    Hmmm, this thread is so old I can't remember if I've even posted on it!

    What do I wish I could actually SAY?

    Here goes:

    You've had a colonoscopy, barium enema, two upper endoscopies, and a capsule endoscopy, all showing negative-zero-zilch. You've complained about nausea, vaguely-moving abdominal pain, and 'sometimes I get headaches' for over a month now, trying every med known to man, all with no relief (except, of course, when we SEE you, since you always seem perfectly fine for your visits--lonely much?). You claim you can't keep any food down, but you haven't lost so much as an ounce in the last two months. Since there's NOTHING wrong with your GI tract, might I recommend a good psychiatrist?!

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