Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 136

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   canoehead
    I actually did say today, "No I don't know when the doctor is coming. I doubt even he knows when he's going to come."
  2. by   whichone'spink
    No, threatening to keep coming to the ER until you are admitted to the hospital will not get you admitted sooner if at all. And please don't steal our wheelchair if you want to leave.
  3. by   LA♥Nurse
    "yes, i do mind if you ask how old i am"

    "i'm 17, but i work for 1/2 price, so the hospital just overlooks my lack of education and experience."
  4. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from la♥nurse
    "yes, i do mind if you ask how old i am"

    "i'm 17, but i work for 1/2 price, so the hospital just overlooks my lack of education and experience."
    i've always looked much much younger than i am (still do at almost 61) and when i was just starting out it was a swift pain!

    one time, after many repeat questions by the same family, got fed up and answered, "don't worry, because my mom is in the lounge just waiting to bail me out if i make any mistakes! she's a lawyer."

    that rendered them absolutely totally speechless! no more questions about my age from them.:d
  5. by   emilymkr
    patient: I'VE BEEN WAITING ON YOU!!

    Really, because I've come to your room more than once and was waiting for YOU "to be ready"

    ugh!
  6. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from emilymkr
    patient: i've been waiting on you!!

    really, because i've come to your room more than once and was waiting for you "to be ready"

    ugh!
    and, of course, my other favorite:

    patient: "i've been waiting for you forever! where the **** have you been?"

    me: "well, at least, you're still as inept at killing yourself as you always are and screwed it up
    yet again."

    before you get out your brickbats, this young man kept being readmitted over and over and over again
    to our psych unit. he would do things like take four advil, then go tell his mom and she'd panic and rush him back to us. another time, he cut his arm (not wrist) just enough to break the skin and bleed a bit, the way i do from a cat scratch. thing was, he made his incision from elbow to wrist topside.

    every admission, the shrink would say about 72 hours later that all he needed was outpatient tx, but i guess that wasn't dramatic enough for him to impress his former girlfriend with, and, unfortunately, mama panicked when outpatient therapy wasn't an instant cure and wanted him to be readmitted at every feeble attempt.

    if i sound callous and cold, i'm not.
    Last edit by dianah on Sep 20, '10 : Reason: Terms of Service
  7. by   Brainiacster
    Quote from twinkerrs
    I will definitely make sure that my autistic son does not come to your clinic. He often hits and bites doctors who invade his space and touch him without appropriate warning especially if he is sick. He is 3.5 and medicated for his aggression. At this point he does not understand discipline. Looking at him he appears normal so you would make such judgment that he is just unruly, but remember you cant judge a book by its cover. I can remember the days I judged people based on their kids behavior, but boy oh boy do I have a different attitude now. I hope you dont have to go through what I did to get that change of heart.
    Quote from twinkerrs
    I agree that you can tell the difference between lack of discipline and an issue, but I have had a million and one people who have made comments about my parenting skills in public before and thinking that educated healthcare workers are just as judging about a childs behaviors the uneducated person at wal mart who says something ugly is kinda disturbing..

    Sorry your kid has probs, but we didn't cause those probs. People are naturally going to assume. You'll have to deal with it GRACIOUSLY. This attitude of self-righteousness is sickening. (Not to mention the nasty attitude towards "uneducated" Walmart workers...as though they're the scum of the Earth or something.) As if anyone cares if you "take your business elsewhere." Basically, I'd be thinking "good riddance." Betting this one also feels "entitled" to HC too. You are NOT entitled to ANYTHING at OTHER people's expense. If applicable, BUY your own HC and QUIT MOOCHING off tax payers. The world does not revolve around YOU! (Where IS that puking icon?!!!).
    Last edit by Brainiacster on Sep 19, '10
  8. by   Brainiacster
    Quote from sharpeimom
    and, of course, my other favorite:

    patient: "i've been waiting for you forever! where the **** have you been?"

    me: "well, at least, you're still as inept at killing yourself as you always are and screwed it up
    yet again."

    before you get out your brickbats, this young man kept being readmitted over and over and over again
    to our psych unit. he would do things like take four advil, then go tell his mom and she'd panic and rush him back to us. another time, he cut his arm (not wrist) just enough to break the skin and bleed a bit, the way i do from a cat scratch. thing was, he made his incision from elbow to wrist topside.

    every admission, the shrink would say about 72 hours later that all he needed was outpatient tx, but i guess that wasn't dramatic enough for him to impress his former girlfriend with, and, unfortunately, mama panicked when outpatient therapy wasn't an instant cure and wanted him to be readmitted at every feeble attempt.

    if i sound callous and cold, i'm not.
    sounds like the typical overindulged brat kid who has now morphed into a non-functional young adult. mama is still there enanbling him now. is it any wonder he's such a problem?
    Last edit by dianah on Sep 20, '10
  9. by   pca_85
    "What do you mean you can't remember what you wanted after I practically died getting to your room????" You'd better come up with an emergency!"
  10. by   VicksburgNurse
    Quote from gentle
    Why do you smell like kitty-litter every time you come to the hospital?
    OMG this is my patient
  11. by   talaxandra
    To the able-bodied 25 year old admitted with query H1N1, who on three consecutive occasions buzzed for something just after removal of full PPE despite his nurses asking "Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" - are your freaking arms painted on? Because you can raise the bed head all your own just by pressing that button there, on the control right the **** next to your buzzer handset, just like we showed you when you were admitted two hours ago!

    I feel so much better now
    Last edit by dianah on Sep 21, '10 : Reason: Terms of Service
  12. by   pca_85
    Quote from talaxandra
    To the able-bodied 25 year old admitted with query H1N1, who on three consecutive occasions buzzed for something just after removal of full PPE despite his nurses asking "Is there anything I can do for you before I go?" - are your freaking arms painted on? Because you can raise the bed head all your own just by pressing that button there, on the control right the **** next to your buzzer handset, just like we showed you when you were admitted two hours ago!

    I feel so much better now
    Sounds like my BF, I'll have to give him a talking to lol.
  13. by   pca_85
    "Yes, I know it's a stupid rule. The person that came up with it is a moron unfit to manage a plant garden, much less a nursing home. However, they are also the moron signing my check. It's not big enough to get myself yelled at for breaking this rule. The moron in question has awful breath so them opening their mouth for any reason while I'm in the room is bad. "

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