Stamp out Gossip today - pg.2 | allnurses

Stamp out Gossip today - page 2

Discrimination, sexism and bullying in the work place appear to be on the increase which concerns me a great deal. It comes under many guises and is not always easy to see. It is like a virus and it... Read More

  1. Visit  anotherone profile page
    1
    alot of gossip where i work is people mentioning poor nursing care of others. sometimes it is blown out of proportion or greatly embelished. MANY times it is not! if you are a sloppy nurse, people are going to talk. Personal issues ;I hate discussing. anything from car i drive to bfs, hobbies. i will out right ignore or change the topic sometimes. the less people know the better. Dont tell a coworker about your drug addict bf .I know this isn't the case all the time, but from what i have seen it is often based on truth or personal issues someone brought up. again do not tell one coworker anything unless you would tell them all.give them nothing. if they make it up, confront them publicly. some people talk about everyone and thats what they are known for.
    madwife2002 likes this.
  2. Visit  tacomaster profile page
    3
    I'm working on finishing my nursing degree so I have seen this from a student's perspective and I'm already nervous about what I will encounter as an actual nurse. I'm not going to go into much detail because I don't want this coming back to me but I will say that I've seen incidences of gossip on the floor just from an outside perspective and how it effects team cohesion.

    I've also seen how clique-ish, mean, and backstabbing the girls in my class can be, and yes it reminds me of junior high. Some of these people are in their late 30s, early 40s doing this nonsense. I just can't believe how evil they can be to other people especially since they want to go into a profession that is all about compassion and taking care of people. There is a lot of power in words and I was the target of their gossiping for the first semester because I told a group of girls I would not help them cheat on paperwork. I pretty much got a big target on my back after that one. Now I just talk to one girl in class and she only talks to me. We are just trying to survive until we graduate.
    cp1024, RedneckGrl, and madwife2002 like this.
  3. Visit  RNikkiF profile page
    3
    While I agree that gossiping/bullying NEED to stop NOW, I agree that in some cases/facilities, it is just too risky to put your neck out there.

    I feel that I am being targeted at work by a charge nurse and a new grad (who is also a brand new prn charge nurse!) who happen to be "best friends" and who also work together outside of our facility as EMTs. They've accused me of doing something that I did NOT do. This supposed "incident", according to these two people, occurred two months ago... Friday was the first time I had EVER heard of it. I took it to my DON (who also happens to be friends with these two people outside of work) and he has said he'll look into it. I had my 90 day eval Friday and it was not good... the only things that were addressed were "situations" that these two people were involved in. None of the descriptions were 1)accurate or 2) documented... I asked for copies of paperwork that might have been filed about this alleged incident... none could be provided. The eval didn't address any of the positive things I've done while I've been there.

    Sorry to ramble, but the point is, that you can't always put a stop to things because they just might be endorsed by management. If there is no resolution to this situation, I will be taking it further up the chain of command, and I will verbally defend myself when necessary, but to get involved in other situations will only make people a target themselves.

    Don't participate in the gossiping/bullying, but keep your head low, otherwise, you'll be on the radar. It shouldn't be that way, but that's how it is. And watch what you say... even a "vent" to a "trusted" co-worker can and WILL get twisted and come back to you. I see it happen to co-workers all the time. Don't trust anyone at work.
    cp1024, madwife2002, and anotherone like this.
  4. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    0
    Quote from anggelRN
    Some people thrive on gossip. They love making others feel as bad about themselves as they do. I especially dislike the way I see some nurses demean other nurses.

    Whether it's talk about their work performace, their personal life, or any of the other countless things you can be targeted for. It really just creates a toxic work enironment. I worked with a charge nurse who made it her mission in life to demean certain nurses. If you didn't participate/agree, you were on her list. Sometimes I felt like I was back in highschool. As you can imagine, I didn't last very long with that organization.
    Sadly, often it is a means to an end for some. Put someone down, make yourself look great--or undermine whomever you have summed up as "competition."

    Very disgusting. There are backstabbers in all places of work; but in nursing, for some reason, it's very hard to take, b/c the ideal is that we are there to be supportive, etc. Add to that the compounded stress, and it's ridiculous. There is stress in not making an order or meeting a customer's specs or approval. It's a whole different ball game when you are talking about maintaining vigilance in safety and efficacy that affects a person's life or death, as they case may be.

    The job is demanding enough without all the unnecessary BS and drama. I really don't care about the gossip. It's often unsubstantiated nonsense or you are getting one part of the picture. I'm not there to be anyone's judge and jury.
  5. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    1
    [QUOTE=anotherone;7054515]alot of gossip where i work is people mentioning poor nursing care of others. sometimes it is blown out of proportion or greatly embelished. QUOTE]


    Yes, and like I said, ..often it is a means to an end for some. Put someone down, make yourself look better or great--or undermine whomever you have summed up as competition.

    See through it. If someone is doing something that is questionable, I look to see if the other person is truly trying to find a productive way in which to deal with it--or if they are trying to make it look productive and position as a sneaky way to make points for themselves. I'm pretty discerning, and in time, I can pick up on where the person is going.

    Now some nurses just do it out of frustration or bad habits. They may just need a kind but firm reminder--especially one in empathy regarding fellow nurses--especially the newer nurses (GNs or nurses that are new to the institution).

    I say if people continue to even sneakily talk smack about other nurses, maybe HR, NM, and the unit nurses need to get together are make an intervention. Don't make that person the enemy either. Just put them on notice that it won't be tolerated. Now after you have attempted x amount of interventions, then maybe HR and NM need to show that nurse the door. Once again, a more objective system and objective method of documentation on this is the key. Don't try to weed a nurse out that is basically a good nurse, b/c he or she doesn't get how to work and speak productively with others. That's just as wrong. Be fair and objective, implement productive approaches and give them some time, and only as a last resort should you show someone the door. Most people will get the point if the point is made in the right way, regularly, without favortism, and consistently.
    Once again, the leadership sets the tone for this.
    madwife2002 likes this.
  6. Visit  OnlybyHisgraceRN profile page
    2
    So grateful for this post. This should be posted in every break room for nurses. Gossip is a terrible, terrible thing.
    cp1024 and madwife2002 like this.
  7. Visit  nursel56 profile page
    1
    Quote from RNikkiF
    While I agree that gossiping/bullying NEED to stop NOW, I agree that in some cases/facilities, it is just too risky to put your neck out there.

    I feel that I am being targeted at work by a charge nurse and a new grad (who is also a brand new prn charge nurse!) who happen to be "best friends" and who also work together outside of our facility as EMTs. They've accused me of doing something that I did NOT do. This supposed "incident", according to these two people, occurred two months ago... Friday was the first time I had EVER heard of it. I took it to my DON (who also happens to be friends with these two people outside of work) and he has said he'll look into it. I had my 90 day eval Friday and it was not good... the only things that were addressed were "situations" that these two people were involved in. None of the descriptions were 1)accurate or 2) documented... I asked for copies of paperwork that might have been filed about this alleged incident... none could be provided. The eval didn't address any of the positive things I've done while I've been there.

    Sorry to ramble, but the point is, that you can't always put a stop to things because they just might be endorsed by management. If there is no resolution to this situation, I will be taking it further up the chain of command, and I will verbally defend myself when necessary, but to get involved in other situations will only make people a target themselves.

    Don't participate in the gossiping/bullying, but keep your head low, otherwise, you'll be on the radar. It shouldn't be that way, but that's how it is. And watch what you say... even a "vent" to a "trusted" co-worker can and WILL get twisted and come back to you. I see it happen to co-workers all the time. Don't trust anyone at work.
    I went through a similar situation a few years ago that I've talked about here before. I think that when a dysfunctional pair-up occurs with a manager and a subordinate, or a newer, often weaker personality who target others your options become pretty limited, and that a situation like this is different from the gossip mill most workplaces are to at least some extent, but usually not involving a supervisor who draws others into her circle to feed off each other's negativity. I'll never get why some people enjoy destroying others, but there it is.

    I spent months ruminating and blaming myself, until I finally blew up and went over these people's heads. I was offered a transfer, but decided the best thing to do was, for the only time in my career for a reason like that, resign.

    It's very true that speaking up can backfire in some environments. I find that with certain people I don't confront them, I just don't really participate in the conversation. They often crave a response, which I don't give, and then I never repeat anything they told me. I'm sorry you've been put through this. I know it's hell and hope you find the nurturing environment you deserve.
    cp1024 likes this.
  8. Visit  RNikkiF profile page
    2
    Thank you for your kind words. I am hoping that something will be done about it because I am far from the only person they're doing this stuff to. Idk if I mentioned it but one of those people is friends with the DON outside of work. So I have no idea if anything will be done but at least I followed chain of command so I can go above the DON if needed.
    madwife2002 and nursel56 like this.
  9. Visit  timmedico profile page
    2
    Thank you so very much for posting! This needs to be repeated many times as often as possible. Gossip has no place in our profession. It does nothing more than degrade others. LOVE IS ALL WE NEED!
    cp1024 and madwife2002 like this.
  10. Visit  amygarside profile page
    1
    Thank you for this article. I am also very saddened with this kind of situation in the nursing profession.
    madwife2002 likes this.
  11. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    1
    Quote from Phoenix36
    As a new grad I really rely on the nuturing environment that we as nurses are supposed to create. I had that in school and with all the stress we have in nursing I hope I can expect good things from my co-workers. I was recently told that when a nurse 'stops asking questions' that's when she becomes a bad nurse.

    I can't ask questions of people who emanate tension. Please for the patients sake and for mine can we show a little nuturance for each other. I bruise easy, be nice. Sometimes people bruise just listening to others bashed. Makes me feel unsafe. Thanks to all the nurses who make me feel safe. Anxiety sucks. It kills braincells--I need mine.
    Yes, there is sure enough stress in many areas already. Nurses cannot do the best job for the patients, for the hospitals, or for themselves if there is animosity and no teamwork. People are going to disagree. That is just life. So what?

    Nurturance. . .it's a beautiful thing, and it should be given to all in nursing freely. Unfortunately not everyone sees it that way. It makes me very sad. I fail to see how running through the unit or bay or floor or wherever and dealing with multiple codes and screaming family members and unfamiliar staff, and the whole nine yards, isn't stressful enough for folks. Why add more to it? I mean are people trying to see how many people they can push toward early stroke, lol?
    madwife2002 likes this.
  12. Visit  FranEMTnurse profile page
    2
    A rumor from gossips who started a story about me and a male friend who is completely devoted to his wife who is in a nursing home. The gossips said that I was having an affair with this man. So I went in front of the room where they were, and related the false story that got back to me purposly out loud and laughed about it, asking: "Can't you imagine, him with one leg and me being fat" and laughed some more. That was the end of the gossiping about me and my friend.
    madwife2002 and hecallsmeDuchess like this.
  13. Visit  hecallsmeDuchess profile page
    1
    Gossip is the route of all evil, I firmly believe if you are in a break room and you hear co-workers talk in any way about another co-worker then you are as guilty as the person who is doing the gossiping.

    @Madwife, while I agree with all you have written, I have to disagree with what I quoted above. When I'm in the break-room, that precious time for me is when I eat my food, drink some water and look at pictures of my kid on my phone. There is only one break-room on my floor and we can't eat at the nurses' station (rightly so). If other folk choose to use their break time to gossip and that happens to be the exact time I'm eating, then too bad because I will not yield my break time to them. What I usually do when everyone is gossiping about some other co-workers and I'm in the same break room, I just sit and eat in silence and when they laugh and expect laughter from me (never mind that I was not contributing to their tales) and get silence and a blank stare, it tends to stop them cold. When people know that you are not going to join their yak fest, they don't enjoy it much. This little strategy, dare I say, has always worked for me.


    Like most people here, a lot of gossiping is going on on my unit and most of it isn't exactly harmless. Thank you, Madwife2002, for addressing that topic. The best thing we can do is to keep out of it, it usually takes one person at a time to make a difference.
    madwife2002 likes this.


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