Stamp out Gossip today - page 2

by madwife2002 Asst. Admin

Discrimination, sexism and bullying in the work place appear to be on the increase which concerns me a great deal. It comes under many guises and is not always easy to see. It is like a virus and it multiplies and gets out of... Read More


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    Thank you for posting this well said article, it sounds like you can see through what's going on with me right now. As a newly graduate as well as new in profession this article is an encouragement.Finally, i feel, at least there is someone out there who wants to do things right. I work in cardiac surgery and its been 2 1/2 months, I only know now there are so many evil nurses on the unit. They are so unprofessional, gossip about me and others all the time. There was this time this foolish nurse drown in gossip, so drown that she couldnt see i was right there. I am a victim of criticism, in a way I am being bullied. They talk, laugh or do whatever I will continue on working, progressing, growing in profession and leave them behind. The foolish people will stay foolish, their heart condition is rotten ,they have fogotten their begining, so at the end they will be left behind in their own misery. As for me I will grow, because in life I've been a fighter and sucessful whenever there is challenge. In away I've always needed someone to mock at me to thrive, because I wanted to show them what I can do. Their misery is my fuel to success.
    madwife2002 likes this.
  2. 4
    I don't listen to what others say about someone. I like to form my own opinion.

    Too many people will listen to a person's opinion about someone and then it's like they're almost looking for that quality.

    Example: Judy says, "Suzy is so lazy."

    Betty's first experience meeting Suzy is when Suzy is taking 5 minutes to cram her lunch down while Betty is drowning on the floor. So, Betty thinks, "I heard she was lazy. Here she is eating when I'm drowning. Hmph."

    Nevermind the fact that Suzy hasn't peed all day and Betty never even asked Suzy to come help. I've seen it happen a million times and it's frustrating.

    I don't know that I go so far as to confront people while they gossip, but if people are saying something negative about someone and that hasn't been my experience with that person then I'll speak up and say, "She's never been that way to me."

    I've been treated poorly in the past by a co-worker who I had never, ever had a bad experience with so I'm almost certain it was the result of gossip and the type of scenario I just gave. The woman was friends with someone who I had a personality clash with so without ever even trying to get to know me, she formed an opinion about me. I've seen a lot of this in the nursing world, and it's sad that grown ups still act this way.
    cp1024, anotherone, madwife2002, and 1 other like this.
  3. 2
    Gossip starts with small simple sentences,

    'did you hear about (put in anybodies name)' gossip gossip gossip

    'do you think 'Mary' knows what she is doing' Obviously the person asking doesnt think so!

    'I was drowning yesterday and I saw Mary stood chatting at the nursing station' to this one I want to say, did you ask her for help? Did she know you were drowning? 'I doubt she can read minds yet!'

    'what do you think about the new grad?' Why? is it because you want to talk about her or is it because you want to criticize her! I doubt you wanted to help her adjust because why are you not asking the new grad, 'how are you settling in? Is there anything I can help you with'
    OnlybyHisgraceRN and BrandonLPN like this.
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    alot of gossip where i work is people mentioning poor nursing care of others. sometimes it is blown out of proportion or greatly embelished. MANY times it is not! if you are a sloppy nurse, people are going to talk. Personal issues ;I hate discussing. anything from car i drive to bfs, hobbies. i will out right ignore or change the topic sometimes. the less people know the better. Dont tell a coworker about your drug addict bf .I know this isn't the case all the time, but from what i have seen it is often based on truth or personal issues someone brought up. again do not tell one coworker anything unless you would tell them all.give them nothing. if they make it up, confront them publicly. some people talk about everyone and thats what they are known for.
    madwife2002 likes this.
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    I'm working on finishing my nursing degree so I have seen this from a student's perspective and I'm already nervous about what I will encounter as an actual nurse. I'm not going to go into much detail because I don't want this coming back to me but I will say that I've seen incidences of gossip on the floor just from an outside perspective and how it effects team cohesion.

    I've also seen how clique-ish, mean, and backstabbing the girls in my class can be, and yes it reminds me of junior high. Some of these people are in their late 30s, early 40s doing this nonsense. I just can't believe how evil they can be to other people especially since they want to go into a profession that is all about compassion and taking care of people. There is a lot of power in words and I was the target of their gossiping for the first semester because I told a group of girls I would not help them cheat on paperwork. I pretty much got a big target on my back after that one. Now I just talk to one girl in class and she only talks to me. We are just trying to survive until we graduate.
    cp1024, RedneckGrl, and madwife2002 like this.
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    While I agree that gossiping/bullying NEED to stop NOW, I agree that in some cases/facilities, it is just too risky to put your neck out there.

    I feel that I am being targeted at work by a charge nurse and a new grad (who is also a brand new prn charge nurse!) who happen to be "best friends" and who also work together outside of our facility as EMTs. They've accused me of doing something that I did NOT do. This supposed "incident", according to these two people, occurred two months ago... Friday was the first time I had EVER heard of it. I took it to my DON (who also happens to be friends with these two people outside of work) and he has said he'll look into it. I had my 90 day eval Friday and it was not good... the only things that were addressed were "situations" that these two people were involved in. None of the descriptions were 1)accurate or 2) documented... I asked for copies of paperwork that might have been filed about this alleged incident... none could be provided. The eval didn't address any of the positive things I've done while I've been there.

    Sorry to ramble, but the point is, that you can't always put a stop to things because they just might be endorsed by management. If there is no resolution to this situation, I will be taking it further up the chain of command, and I will verbally defend myself when necessary, but to get involved in other situations will only make people a target themselves.

    Don't participate in the gossiping/bullying, but keep your head low, otherwise, you'll be on the radar. It shouldn't be that way, but that's how it is. And watch what you say... even a "vent" to a "trusted" co-worker can and WILL get twisted and come back to you. I see it happen to co-workers all the time. Don't trust anyone at work.
    cp1024, madwife2002, and anotherone like this.
  7. 0
    Quote from anggelRN
    Some people thrive on gossip. They love making others feel as bad about themselves as they do. I especially dislike the way I see some nurses demean other nurses.

    Whether it's talk about their work performace, their personal life, or any of the other countless things you can be targeted for. It really just creates a toxic work enironment. I worked with a charge nurse who made it her mission in life to demean certain nurses. If you didn't participate/agree, you were on her list. Sometimes I felt like I was back in highschool. As you can imagine, I didn't last very long with that organization.
    Sadly, often it is a means to an end for some. Put someone down, make yourself look great--or undermine whomever you have summed up as "competition."

    Very disgusting. There are backstabbers in all places of work; but in nursing, for some reason, it's very hard to take, b/c the ideal is that we are there to be supportive, etc. Add to that the compounded stress, and it's ridiculous. There is stress in not making an order or meeting a customer's specs or approval. It's a whole different ball game when you are talking about maintaining vigilance in safety and efficacy that affects a person's life or death, as they case may be.

    The job is demanding enough without all the unnecessary BS and drama. I really don't care about the gossip. It's often unsubstantiated nonsense or you are getting one part of the picture. I'm not there to be anyone's judge and jury.
  8. 1
    [QUOTE=anotherone;7054515]alot of gossip where i work is people mentioning poor nursing care of others. sometimes it is blown out of proportion or greatly embelished. QUOTE]


    Yes, and like I said, ..often it is a means to an end for some. Put someone down, make yourself look better or great--or undermine whomever you have summed up as competition.

    See through it. If someone is doing something that is questionable, I look to see if the other person is truly trying to find a productive way in which to deal with it--or if they are trying to make it look productive and position as a sneaky way to make points for themselves. I'm pretty discerning, and in time, I can pick up on where the person is going.

    Now some nurses just do it out of frustration or bad habits. They may just need a kind but firm reminder--especially one in empathy regarding fellow nurses--especially the newer nurses (GNs or nurses that are new to the institution).

    I say if people continue to even sneakily talk smack about other nurses, maybe HR, NM, and the unit nurses need to get together are make an intervention. Don't make that person the enemy either. Just put them on notice that it won't be tolerated. Now after you have attempted x amount of interventions, then maybe HR and NM need to show that nurse the door. Once again, a more objective system and objective method of documentation on this is the key. Don't try to weed a nurse out that is basically a good nurse, b/c he or she doesn't get how to work and speak productively with others. That's just as wrong. Be fair and objective, implement productive approaches and give them some time, and only as a last resort should you show someone the door. Most people will get the point if the point is made in the right way, regularly, without favortism, and consistently.
    Once again, the leadership sets the tone for this.
    madwife2002 likes this.
  9. 2
    So grateful for this post. This should be posted in every break room for nurses. Gossip is a terrible, terrible thing.
    cp1024 and madwife2002 like this.
  10. 1
    Quote from RNikkiF
    While I agree that gossiping/bullying NEED to stop NOW, I agree that in some cases/facilities, it is just too risky to put your neck out there.

    I feel that I am being targeted at work by a charge nurse and a new grad (who is also a brand new prn charge nurse!) who happen to be "best friends" and who also work together outside of our facility as EMTs. They've accused me of doing something that I did NOT do. This supposed "incident", according to these two people, occurred two months ago... Friday was the first time I had EVER heard of it. I took it to my DON (who also happens to be friends with these two people outside of work) and he has said he'll look into it. I had my 90 day eval Friday and it was not good... the only things that were addressed were "situations" that these two people were involved in. None of the descriptions were 1)accurate or 2) documented... I asked for copies of paperwork that might have been filed about this alleged incident... none could be provided. The eval didn't address any of the positive things I've done while I've been there.

    Sorry to ramble, but the point is, that you can't always put a stop to things because they just might be endorsed by management. If there is no resolution to this situation, I will be taking it further up the chain of command, and I will verbally defend myself when necessary, but to get involved in other situations will only make people a target themselves.

    Don't participate in the gossiping/bullying, but keep your head low, otherwise, you'll be on the radar. It shouldn't be that way, but that's how it is. And watch what you say... even a "vent" to a "trusted" co-worker can and WILL get twisted and come back to you. I see it happen to co-workers all the time. Don't trust anyone at work.
    I went through a similar situation a few years ago that I've talked about here before. I think that when a dysfunctional pair-up occurs with a manager and a subordinate, or a newer, often weaker personality who target others your options become pretty limited, and that a situation like this is different from the gossip mill most workplaces are to at least some extent, but usually not involving a supervisor who draws others into her circle to feed off each other's negativity. I'll never get why some people enjoy destroying others, but there it is.

    I spent months ruminating and blaming myself, until I finally blew up and went over these people's heads. I was offered a transfer, but decided the best thing to do was, for the only time in my career for a reason like that, resign.

    It's very true that speaking up can backfire in some environments. I find that with certain people I don't confront them, I just don't really participate in the conversation. They often crave a response, which I don't give, and then I never repeat anything they told me. I'm sorry you've been put through this. I know it's hell and hope you find the nurturing environment you deserve.
    cp1024 likes this.


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