Spouses/Visitors In Patient's Beds

[jpmrt]

I just finished a shift, where while giving report, once again the nurse I was reporting to blew a gasket when she discovered that one of the patient's boyfriends was in the bed with the patient. She had the same reaction last week when a patient had her husband in bed with her. She says it is inappropriate and unacceptable. I personally have no problem with it, as long as: they are acting appropriate, the patient wants the visitor in their bed, the patient is not in critical condition, the visitor is not impeding on patient's care, and there are no major open wounds/sources for infection.

I came home today searching all over the internet for some sort of policy guidance as to how other hospitals deal with this sort of thing and found nothing, so I decided to open this thread to see how you all felt about this situation.

Why do we think it's cute when a 90 year old lady curls up with her dying husband so he can finally get some rest, but flip out when its a 20 year old who finds comfort having her partner curled up beside them? Is this a privilidge that only belongs to the married, the dying, the heterosexual adult norm? What about the lesbian or gay couple... if you create a policy that says "married or spouses" then you've just excluded that population. It seems too situation specific to create a broad policy i.e. the reasons I stated above as contraindications or things like hospice or new baby as "acceptable".

But the problem comes that when there isn't a policy in place, and you have inconsitency in nursing judgement patient's get an unclear message. I can guarantee you that after I leave, that nurse will go in the room, chastize the visitor and make him get out of the bed. Then, I come on in the morning and suddenly it's okay? Mixed messages for sure.

My feelings are that allowing the visitor to share the bed with patient in "appropriate situations outlined above", regardless of marital status, sexual orientation, etc. the patient has the RIGHT to share their bed. It goes within the core values of nursing... THE RIGHT TO AUTONOMY, NON-MALEFICIENCE (damage their level of comfort or security and trust by being told no one can be in their bed) and BENEFICIENCE (if the patient is able to benefit from the comfort of the closeness of a loved one, a stuffed animal, a pet, (without causing harm) then it is our duty to respect this opportunity for improved outcomes.

Honestly, there's only been 2 nurses I've met who have problems with this. They both were super conservative, had some control issues, very opinionated, and were very outspoken. What are your thoughts on whether it is appropriate or not, or whether policies should be put in place? ~MN RN

[Sparrowhawk]

She needs to get over it. Patients are supposed to heal, and if having your loved one in bed with you to comfort you is gonna help that process..then so be it...straight, gay or purple.

[Samantha79]

I don't have a problem with it, unless the pts medical condition makes it dangerous for them or the other person. I will say that in school we were taught that pts have the right to have sex in their room if they want to . We were taught that there is no law against it and as adults they are allowed to make that decision. That is a little bit creepy to me, but I certainly don't have a problem with people lying in bed together. I know when I'm sick, the thing that comforts me the most, is having my husband's arms around me.

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

they are paying for the bed. Let them decide

[LeeniesMomRN]

Actually, having another person in the bed makes you liable for that person. They trip, fall out, hit their hands on the handrail, etc etc etc, the company and your licensor may be asking you why 2 people were in a sick bed built for one. Our policy is strict against it.

[GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

NOT something I am going to blow a gasket over. I don't care. Let people be comfortable and comforted. Just keep your clothes on, as I can not guarantee privacy, being a hospital and being there for nursing/medical care. I don't really care if people are having sex if their condition allows for it, but I wouldn't want to embarass them by walking in on the act. People could fall off of a chair or out of a recliner just as easily as falling out of a bed, so eh, I don't worry about it.

[workingmama77, BSN]

It is a fine line, especially if you think about what LeeniesMomRN says in her post. I myself do hope that if I were sick or dying that my husband would be allowed to lay next to me and especially my kids, as long as it was not going to hurt me or put me in danger.

[I_OYVEY]

Private rooms yes, semi private rooms depends. Three times I have been in a semi-private room twice with a couple of 20 something year olds and once with a couple in their 40's I had to ask the nurse to move me or move them. The curtain drawn between the beds and the tv turned up did not block out the noise. A mother sick and her kids want to crawl in bed with her is okay. A hospital is a public place and people should act accordingly I guess, that is just my opinion.

[merlee]

This is a difficult situation. Certainly if it is an end-of-life time, no problem. If it is requested as a comfort measure BY THE PATIENT then ok.

But actual intercourse in a hospital bed? Whose call is that? How many sick people, really ill, want to make love in a public setting?

If there is a way to obtain/maintain privacy, then at least a patient can have some intimate time with a partner or child.

Where does it end?? (sigh)

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

My hospital allows it, and as an employee of that hospital I allow it. I don't discriminate in any way. Man/woman woman/woman man/man child/adult old/young dog/patient.........No I did kick the dog out and sent it on it's way.

But, I consider it inappropriate.

"The times they are a-Changin"

[mcleanl]

Crazy, isn't it...the things people get bent out of shape about!!!!!

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

NOT something I am going to blow a gasket over. I wouldn't want to embarass them by walking in on the act. People could fall off of a chair or out of a recliner just as easily as falling out of a bed, so eh, I don't worry about it.

I would bet that anyone bold enough to have sex in a public place, would not be embarassed if discovered;)