Quote from not.done.yet
4. Relationship issues between us and the family. We want this to be a good experience for the family and to feel their loved one is being well cared for. Hard to build that relationship when the first thing we do is hurt the patient/make them cry or cry out from the pain of being moved from a stretcher to a bed. It is easy for families to misinterpret this as callous or careless on our parts, when in fact it is simply unable to be helped. We do all we can to make it swift, smooth and painless, but sometimes all the logistics and medications in the world can't make that particular moment more pleasant. For a stressed family already struggling with what has likely been a long, horrible day, this can put them over the edge and create a mistrust that is hard to recover from.
I once asked a daughter (who was one of the owners of the LTC facility we were actually at in this story) to leave the room while a coworker and I transferred her mother.
I did it because the daughter was hypercritical (she never let us forget she was an owner, the wife of a doctor and a former nurse
), which made it things stressful enough...
Add that to the fact that her mother was a cancer-ridden, pain-wracked mess. It was always very stressful for us move her (even when the daughter wasn't around) because there was no way
to do so without her being in extreme pain and crying out.
The daughter was standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, attitude cranked high and waiting.
My partner gave me a nervous glance and I knew then, that if this daughter did not leave the room... oh, geeze
So I asked her to please step out.
She raised her voice and demanded to stay.
I said, "Turning your mother is extremely stressful due to the amount of pain she is in. With you watching, it makes it hard for us to really concentrate to do it right
. No matter how we do it, she will cry. We really need you to step out so we can focus."
The daughter stomped out and promptly reported me to her siblings-- all co-owners of the LTC (one was the administrator).
And you know what? They told that sister to back off and actually came to me and backed me up!!
They "got it" and I, as a very young CNA, was so grateful that they understood and didn't fire me (because that sister was mad
My point is illustrate what not.done.yet pointed out.
That daughter (even though she had been a nurse and, perhaps, because of it) was looking
Where you look, you will find it.
I didn't need her finding it with us and not when we were working so incredibly hard to treat her mother as gently as possible.
What we were trying to achieve and what she would have perceived were not likely going to be the same thing.