Indenial

I know it must seem wierd to a lot of people, probably everyone. I'm asking on a forum rather than speaking to the hospital, because I would be embarrassed to ask the question in person. I know it's silly to be concerned about something like this, and no-one else would be remotely bothered by being asked to leave the room. I have tried to tell myself this and let this go, but as I explained in my opening post, I have a couple of mental health conditions that make it difficult to cope with even small things. This situation wouldn't have bothered me at all 10 years ago. I just wouldn't have given it a second thought or even a first thought. Anyway, all your replies have helped me see that it was not personal, and I feel much better about the situation now. Thank you!

Thank you for your reply; yes I am in the UK! Just to clarify, the consultant didn't ask me to leave the consulting room; he just pulled the curtain accross during the examination My husband just started taking his shirt off on the way to the bed, obviously unconcerned that I might see his chest, but the consultant almost barged my husband to the bed before he could take his shirt off. As I said in my latest post, my husband was having difficulty remembering all that had happened over the previous weeks. He'd been back and forth to A&E several times, and had been in severe pain equivalent to when he passed a kidney stone. His memory was understandably hazy.

I'd just like to say that I'm not an overbearing interfering wife who takes over the situation and answers for her husband. I'm a quiet, reserved, and respectful person. At no point did I answer a question that was put to my husband, and I was not asked to leave the room at any point during the consultation. I was present at the consultation in order to support him, and fill in the gaps where he had left important information out, which he did several times, as he knew he would. He couldn't remember the order things had happened, or what medication he had at what time, whereas I could. At all times, I was careful to state that my husband "was complaining of [symptom] at around 10pm", rather than telling them how he felt. My query was not about the consultation, or about sharing information, just being asked to leave the room during the examination, and transfer to bed.

Thank you very much for all your replies! My husband suggested that perhaps it was a space issue, or that the staff don't necessarily know the state or dynamics of our relationship. It seems he was right! He was sedated (but conscious) at the time of the transfer to the bed, and didn't think of asking if I could stay. He said he will try to remember next time, if the situation arises again (hopefully it won't!). I must point out that the consultant was fine with me being present for the consultation. I was actively involved in the consultation, because my husband was in pain, and so was not able to give a full account of his symptoms on his own. It was just the examination part where the consultant protected his privacy. Also, I fully appreciate the need for visitors such as parents and siblings to leave the room. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with them seeing my body. I just thought it was taken as normal that a partner or spouse would not present any dignity or privacy issues. I would feel uncomfortable if I was in hospital and body parts were exposed, but that would be because of the Dr or nurse seeing me, not my husband (if he was in the room). I suppose everyone is different though, and I understand that what seems normal to me, is not necessarily the case for everyone, and medical staff have to be cautious. Thank you for clarifying this for me.

Hi I'm not a nurse, but I'm hoping someone can clear something up for me. I accompanied my husband to hospital several times over the past few weeks, and a couple of things have really puzzled and slightly annoyed me. First off, we went to see a consultant, who had to examine my husband's abdomen. The consultant asked my husband to remove his shirt and lie on the bed, so my husband started taking his shirt off as he was walking to the bed. The consultant hurriedly ushered my husband towards the bed, and closed the curtain as if trying to protect my husband's privacy (from me - his wife?!). I found that a bit odd, especially as he only had to remove his shirt. Does he not think I've seen my husband's chest before? Secondly, when my husband went into the same hospital for a procedure, the porter asked me to leave the room whilst they (four people including two females) transferred my husband from the trolley to the bed. In both these situations it struck me as a little odd that a spouse would be asked to leave, and I felt a bit annoyed that the staff wanted to shield him from me, as if me being there would upset him somehow. When in fact he would feel no loss of dignity or privacy if I saw any part of his body at any time. He is more comfortable with me seeing his body than anyone else in the world, especially female hospial staff. If he was going to suffer any loss of dignity, it would be from them seeing him, not me. I should think that would be the case for most couples (except perhaps the odd vicar / nun combination). Shouldn't the patient be asked? All staff knew we were married, because he introduced me as his wife to all staff members who assisted him. I realise I'm taking this way too personally, andpeople will think I'm getting upset over nothing. I've tried to put this out of my mind, but unfortunately it's not going anywhere, and I'm hoping someone can enlighten me as to the rationale behing asking spouses to leave in the situations described above. It might help me feel a bit better. I don't want to ask the hospital, because they might think I'm neurotic and paranoid, which I am due to a couple of mental health conditions. Thank you for reading; I hope someone can help.