So angry and annoyed!

Wanna_BA_Nurse · Mar 14, 2011

You take him out of there! That is so unprofessional of her to hang UP on you! What nerve! Poor guy.

BluegrassRN · Mar 14, 2011

You only have your father's version of events. The nurse's perspective may indeed be completely different.

I have had family complain before that their loved one said no one checked on them all night and they had a horrible night. I round at least hourly on all my patients, and if they are comfortable, I don't disturb them except for routine vitals and meds. Perhaps no one has seen him; or perhaps his idea of a terrible time is that he sleeps intermittently, and doesn't realize that his nurse has been in several times while he is sleeping. If the patient doesn't say he's having a hard time, and appears to be resting comfortably on hourly rounds, how is the nurse supposed to know?

I know your frustration and anger is borne of love and concern for your father. Please remember you will get better information if you do not immediately accuse the nurse of lying and put her on the defensive. Please calm and control yourself before you speak with the nurse.

BluegrassRN · Mar 14, 2011

You take him out of there! That is so unprofessional of her to hang UP on you! What nerve! Poor guy.

If someone gets truly nasty to me on the phone, I tell them to call back when they are calm and hang up, too. That nurse was merely covering another nurse on break, and she fields a phone call where a nurse and family member gets "nasty" and accuses her of falsifying medical information.

If you've been on the receiving end of such phone calls, you know there is rarely anything you can say to help, and typically the conversation just needs to end.

SweettartRN · Mar 14, 2011

If someone gets truly nasty to me on the phone, I tell them to call back when they are calm and hang up, too. That nurse was merely covering another nurse on break, and she fields a phone call where a nurse and family member gets "nasty" and accuses her of falsifying medical information.
If you've been on the receiving end of such phone calls, you know there is rarely anything you can say to help, and typically the conversation just needs to end.

Actually if you'd go back and read what I wrote the "real" nurse did call back and lie to me.

Perhaps if she were doing her job and not taking smoke breaks, we wouldn't have a problem here?

iNurseUK, RN · Mar 14, 2011

How do you know the nurse was on smoke breaks? Are you jumping to conclusions or do you have solid evidence?

I do not mean to minimise your distress over your father's illness but as others have said what the patient says can deviate from reality by some distance.

BluegrassRN · Mar 14, 2011

I'm sorry I misread your post.

I understand your anger and concern, but I don't see how screaming at and threatening the nurse over the phone is going to help this situation at all. Do you know for a fact that your father is receiving poor care? Do you know for a fact that no one has checked on him all day? Has he asked for assistance and not received it? Is he one of these fellows who doesn't like to bother anyone, doesn't give any indication that he needs assistance, and says he's doing fine when asked?

I hope your father is receiving good care, and I hope you can calm down and determine this without becoming aggressive and belligerent. I just think assuming your father's perspective on this is 100% accurate and subsequently going at the staff guns blazing is not the best means of handling this. We all have had patients who have unknowingly completely misinterpreted or misrepresented a situation. Before you demand someone's head, you should gather a little more information, in a rational manner. Good luck to you and your father.

enchantmentdis, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2011

If you are worried about the care your father is receiving then you have to take time off work--it is called pto or family leave--and you have to sit by his bedside for a few days. You have no idea what kind of care he is receiving unless you are there to see it. Making another nurse upset on the phone is not the answer. Do you like it when family members harass you on the phone? Furthermore, how would you feel if someone accused you of falsifying a chart? You could actually get that poor nurse fired for your actions, because she probably didn't falsify anything--maybe during her assessment your dad was sleeping and not coughing at that moment. Better get your emotions under control. You may think your father is the only person in the hospital, but he is not. Better you use some of that professionalism and judgement you learned in your nursing career and apply it here to get what you want--great care for your Dad, is that right?

nursej22, MSN, RN · Mar 14, 2011

I am sorry about your father's condition, diuresing 50 pounds is amazing. It's too bad that he is not feeling better.

I wonder about his cough, could it be a reaction to an ACE I such as lisinopril?

I cannot speak to the info you were given over the phone, but I hope he is calling for assistance and reporting his cough and inability to rest to the nursing staff and his MD.

I too have had patients whom I have been in the room frequently with tell their family "no one's been in all day", right in front of me.

In fact, I've visitors who were at the bedside say the same thing. Apparently, they expect a physician to round hourly or something.

enchantmentdis, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2011

He is miserable, and doesn't have health insurance, and that I can't be with him 24/7 is driving me bonkers.

And why in this day and age doesn't your Dad have health insurance at his age?

iNurseUK, RN · Mar 14, 2011

As to the diuresis SOMEONE must have been in there to give the Lasix or equivalent and have recorded the input/output so he must have had some attention.

BluegrassRN · Mar 14, 2011

And why in this day and age doesn't your Dad have health insurance at his age?

I don't know that this is relevant to the discussion, other than it causes even more stress for the OP (and perhaps explains in part his terrible CHF, since people without insurance typically have more difficulty managing chronic conditions). Maybe while he's in the hospital, social work can evaluate his situation to see if he qualifies for Medicare or Medicaid?

It seems obvious most of the knee jerk reaction is from fear and guilt (I mean, the OP states it "drives me bonkers" she can't be there with him), but taking it out on the staff isn't productive in the least.