Sexual harrassment? - pg.2 | allnurses

Sexual harrassment? - page 2

I had a male nurse co-worker who was actively engaging in "sexting" during the shift and showed me a very provocative partially nude female on his cell phone. As the charge nurse on duty I was... Read More

  1. Visit  Wild Irish LPN profile page
    2
    I have to agree...being the only male nurse on my team I too listen to my peers talk, at length about the men in there lives....and everything that goes with....in a way I feel happy that they feel comfortable sharing and being "real" in front of me, I feel included...it never really bothers me, in fact it has been very educational lol....but, that being said, I would never tell my tales to them....double standard, yep...but it just covers my a** from any of this nonsense....as the Charge Nurse, you should have pulled him aside and said that this is a "no go"....and conversely said the same to all of your nurses....he made a bad judgement call on this issue, but no way should he lose his job, or for that matter be suspended....
    Miss Lizzie and FMF Corpsman like this.
  2. Visit  Sun0408 profile page
    0
    I have to agree with the others. Is there more to this story; was he talked to prior?
  3. Visit  Meriwhen profile page
    1
    Unless you are directly involved in the hiring/firing/management of personnel...IMO whether he keeps his job is not your decision to make. You did what you had to do in writing him up and reporting him. Whatever punishment/consequences he will face for his actions will likely come from management and HR.

    Whatever happens to him (fired, suspended, counseled, etc.), I hope he learns from his mistake.
    FMF Corpsman likes this.
  4. Visit  Wild Irish LPN profile page
    1
    Quote from Meriwhen
    Unless you are directly involved in the hiring/firing of personnel...IMO whether he keeps his job is not your decision to make. You did what you had to do in reporting him. Whatever punishment/consequences he will face for his actions will come from management/HR.

    Whatever happens to him (fired, suspended, counseled, etc.), I hope he learns from his mistake.
    I get what you are saying, and you are actually "by the book" correct....but, as nurses we should be able to read into situations and use our good nurses gut/judgement....doesn't mean she should have looked the other way, but perhaps used some common sense in confronting her discomfort head on...I would be willing to bet that this approach would have been sufficient....
    Miss Lizzie likes this.
  5. Visit  HippyDippyLPN profile page
    5
    dear lord I just know want to know where you work where a nurse actually has time to sext or talk about last night's booty call. But I think if this was a first time thing, you should have talked to him about it first. Then if he did it again, report him and let the higher ups deal with it. Sometimes people are a lot more open than they should be, its not sexual harassment, just a matter of learning when to shut up and keep things to yourself.
  6. Visit  Meriwhen profile page
    1
    Quote from Wild Irish LPN
    I get what you are saying, and you are actually "by the book" correct....but, as nurses we should be able to read into situations and use our good nurses gut/judgement....doesn't mean she should have looked the other way, but perhaps used some common sense in confronting her discomfort head on...I would be willing to bet that this approach would have been sufficient....
    Not saying she should have looked the other way and/or that I thought she should have handled it differently. I was specifically addressing the OP's question: "Fellow collegues, do you think this employee should be able to keep his job?" Because--and I may be wrong and if so I'll apologize in advance--it seems like the OP is looking for a certain answer from us on this one.
    Wild Irish LPN likes this.
  7. Visit  RNsRWe profile page
    0
    Might be worth mentioning here that since you were co-workers, with you actually being a step "higher" than him as charge nurse, there has been no sexual harassment by ANY definition. It's not opinion, as you're viewing it....it's a legal term.

    Sexual Harassment is a condition in which a manager/supervisor/employer has been found to be discriminating against an "underling" because of sexual favors. Either they have been requested or rebuffed, but to BE sexually harassed an employee must be informed in some way (or suggestion made) that a raise or promotion--or possible demotion or other punishment--depends on some type of sexual favor or response.

    This co-worker MAY have created a 'hostile work environment', for which you'd have to sue your EMPLOYER....not the guy whose behavior you didn't like. And that's a hard one to prove and win, since you'd have to show that his behavior created such an impossible environment for you that you couldn't do your job or were afraid for your personal safety. And, of course, such a lawsuit doesn't always get rid of the guy you didn't like....but it definitely makes YOU out of a job. Ready to do that?
  8. Visit  RNsRWe profile page
    5
    ...and now I guess I'll weigh in on the questions asked by the OP:

    I believe you overreacted--highly. If I understand the situation correctly, a co-worker showed you a photo of a partially-clad woman and your response is to "write him up"? He lost 2 weeks' worth of pay, and there's even an INKLING that he might lose his job? Severe overreaction.

    ALL that had to happen here, upon Joe Nurse showing you this photo, is for you to say "Seriously, dude, totally inappropriate. Lose the photo and NEVER show me that cr@p again, okay?" That's it. Period.

    If he persisted, made it a habit then fine, go ahead and complain. But one single incident in which he had no way of knowing you wouldn't find it humorous (or whatever)? Too much, too strong, too fast.
    anotherone, morte, 37 C, and 2 others like this.
  9. Visit  Whispera profile page
    0
    Since you're charge nurse, besides telling him he's inappropriate, telling him to stop wasting time he's being paid-for, would have been a good idea. I do think you over-reacted, especially if you didn't talk to him about it before you reported him. That's not following the chain, is it?

    I also wonder....has the rule to not have cell phones on the floor, because they can interfere with things, flown out the window?
  10. Visit  Altra profile page
    1
    Quote from RNsRWe
    Might be worth mentioning here that since you were co-workers, with you actually being a step "higher" than him as charge nurse, there has been no sexual harassment by ANY definition. It's not opinion, as you're viewing it....it's a legal term.

    Sexual Harassment is a condition in which a manager/supervisor/employer has been found to be discriminating against an "underling" because of sexual favors. Either they have been requested or rebuffed, but to BE sexually harassed an employee must be informed in some way (or suggestion made) that a raise or promotion--or possible demotion or other punishment--depends on some type of sexual favor or response.
    That is not the EEOC's definition of sexual harassment. The harassing party does not have to be a superior to the party being harassed.

    Sexual Harassment

    "It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
    Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.
    Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.
    Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).
    The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer."
    musingmom likes this.
  11. Visit  JZ_RN profile page
    1
    How do you "right" someone up? Hahahahaha. I just get such a kick out of people in "charge" positions who do things like mix up words or use words improperly.
    anotherone likes this.
  12. Visit  RNsRWe profile page
    0
    Quote from Altra
    That is not the EEOC's definition of sexual harassment. The harassing party does not have to be a superior to the party being harassed.

    Sexual Harassment
    "It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.
    Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.
    Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.
    Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).
    The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer."
    Hmmm, I'm going to have to do some more checking! If this is the most recent and correct information, well....I stand corrected, and I thank you. However, I remember this being in the news not long ago, and the reason why it WASN'T considered "sexual harrassment" was because of the very nature of the situation the OP described: the "harasser" was actually subservient to the "target". Thought I had remembered it pretty well, but maybe not.

    Beyond that, even if the employer/employee situation is exactly as you describe, what is painfully evident is that this WAS a single incident. It was not severe, it was not prolonged. It wasn't illegal for him to make a single comment, joke, or show her the photo.

    Her consideration, therefore, of this being "sexual harassment" is unfounded.
  13. Visit  rivershark2005 profile page
    3
    It may very well not be my place to chime in here, but I'm going to anyway.

    Until very recently, I was the only male on my shift (I'm a CNA). It amazes me how people can miscontrue things like this. Is what he did wrong? Yeah, he shouldn't have shown you that picture and you shouldn't have known he was "sexting" rather than just texting. But, seriously, a write-up? It would have been so much easier for you to tell him these things were inappropriate, for everyone involved. Now he gets to lose two weeks of pay and quite possibly start looking for another job IF he gets to keep his license.

    Every night I go to work, I get to listen to one particular coworker tell everyone at work the things her new boyfriend did to her the night before. Seriously, who cares? But the other girls eat this up. There's a lot of "Oh, I wish my husband would..." and "If my boyfriend would do [this] I'd do [that] more often." Seriously? When did this society become so sexually engaged that we feel the need to tell every person we know about our sexual exploits? I don't go around bragging about how many girls I've been with, what I'm going to do with whoever next time we go out, or talking about the experiences I had with so-and-so or what's-her-name. If I did, those girls would have me fired in a heartbeat. Yet when they make ME uncomfortable by talking about this and that, there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

    Somehow we have gotten to the point that if a guy brags about or shows off the things his partner/friend/whatever does for him, he's a stud, in general society, but in a society of primarily women (such as the nursing field) he's a dog. Okay, so men are dogs, but women are what? Apparently goddesses. The girls I work with are taking turns reading the 50 Shades of Grey books, mostly while at work. From what I've heard, some of that stuff is probably a lot raunchier than "sexting." Yet this is acceptable. "Oh, it's just fantasy." Yeah, but it's SEXUAL fantasy.

    Do I partake in "sexting"? Not really. Do I partake in my coworkers' sexual conversations? Not at all, even when asked. I've been having problems with the girls I work with, anyway. I don't want to do anything that can be miscontrued as harrassment. I have ONE girl I talk to at work. We're about the same age, have been in similar situations, and get along very well. We don't talk about who's doing who. For the past couple of days we have worked directly together, we have talked primarily about my ex and how I feel about her.

    My point here? Dude, you overreacted. BIG TIME. I can almost promise you that guy meant nothing more than "Hey, I trust you, what do you think of this chick?" when he showed you that picture. He didn't ask you for similar pictures, did he? Or is there the possibility that he just needed a friend to say "She seems kinda skanky..."? Seriously glad I don't work for you. I'd smile and you'd swear I was making lude comments. How do I know this? Guess what I got reported for Wednesday night?
    anotherone, FMF Corpsman, and Alana R. like this.


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