Recovering after bullying Recovering after bullying | allnurses

LEGAL NOTICE TO THE FOLLOWING ALLNURSES SUBSCRIBERS: Pixie.RN, JustBeachyNurse, monkeyhq, duskyjewel, and LadyFree28. An Order has been issued by the United States District Court for the District of Minnesota that affects you in the case EAST COAST TEST PREP LLC v. ALLNURSES.COM, INC. Click here for more information

Recovering after bullying

  1. 0 Noting that a recent journal article published that at some point in a nurses career approximately 33% of nurses will leave a job due to workplace "violence" and 37% will actually be terminated due to the same, how does one recover professionally after that event occurs to you?

    Do you upfront tell future potential employers the circumstances regarding why you left?

    How did you deal with this event in your professional life?
  2. 19 Comments

  3. Visit  RNdynamic profile page
    #1 2
    Just be careful about what bosses you end up working for. I made the mistake of transitioning from an excellent manager to a department with a horrible one. It really affected me that year.
  4. Visit  Been there,done that profile page
    #2 6
    Professionally, I moved on as soon as possible.

    I would not try to explain lateral violence as the reason. The one time I did.. I could see it was NEVER going to be seen as a valid reason.
    After all, It's YOUR fault when someone doesn't play nice in the sandbox , right?

    Personally, (even though you didn't ask) it took years to recover from that below the belt sucker punch.
  5. Visit  Ruas61 profile page
    #3 6
    Victim is a strong word.

    The context in which you experience and perceive it likely are going to wildly vary from the next person.

    One can be a victim without their consent.
  6. Visit  Caribbean Character profile page
    #4 0
    Quote from Been there,done that
    Lateral violence is just what it describes.. VIOLENCE. When you come up against violence.. you lose your choice to "respond" . That is TAKEN from you.
    If by "respond" you mean defend yourself, you are completely wrong. Whether or not to defend yourself is a choice that YOU must make and that no one can take away from you.
  7. Visit  klone profile page
    #5 9
    Someone who is on the receiving end of lateral violence i.e. bullying IS a victim. That doesn't mean that they have to take on a victim mentality. But that doesn't negate the very real fact that they were victimized.
  8. Visit  sas8536 profile page
    #6 2
    In my first RN job, I was denied my full 12 week orientation and was constantly bullied by the charge nurse and other staff on my floor. I left after barely 3 months after being in tears both before, after, and during my shifts. I wrote a resignation letter to my manager, (who did nothing during my employment despite approaching him 2x- even calling him while he was out of town at a conference). I outlined my reasons for leaving and then copied the letter to his supervisor and HR. I put that 3 months of experience on my resume to initiate discussion in interviews about staff relationships and bullying and the kind of environment I want to work in. I now have a great job at a hospital where the culture is very respectful and the staff here are awesome!
  9. Visit  CapeCodMermaid profile page
    #7 0
    Perhaps we need to define our terms. What we call bullying by kids today is the same thing we called teasing when I was a kid. Violence is quite a strong term for someone giving you a hard time at work.
  10. Visit  DeLanaHarvickWannabe profile page
    #8 5
    Quote from CapeCodMermaid
    What we call bullying by kids today is the same thing we called teasing when I was a kid.
    There is a huge difference between "Haha! Your name is Jasmine! Where's Aladdin!" or even teasing a child for having, say, a lot of freckles and kids making graphic observations regarding the possible qualities of other kids' genitals and using this as a "nickname" that is followed throughout school years, pouring hot soup on a kid's head and laughing when the child cries, kids telling other kids they should kill themselves...I could go on (and yes these are real life things that have happened to me or people I knew). Sorry, but the latter is bullying.
  11. Visit  CapeCodMermaid profile page
    #9 1 made my point. There IS a huge difference between name calling and physical violence.
  12. Visit  DeLanaHarvickWannabe profile page
    #10 2
    Quote from CapeCodMermaid made my point. There IS a huge difference between name calling and physical violence.
    So 11 year old girls telling other 11 year old girls that they should kill themselves isn't bullying because it's not physical violence?
  13. Visit  LadyFree28 profile page
    #11 0
    Quote from DeLanaHarvickWannabe

    So 11 year old girls telling other 11 year old girls that they should kill themselves isn't bullying because it's not physical violence?
    That, to me, is violence.

    I think the issue where people regardless of what we are talking about..."violence" to many is the physical ACT that makes it identify as such; many people for years had the same issues when Domestic Violence was a subject that needed to be introduced.

    The issue with lateral violence, is that for me, there are plenty of people in this business have strong personalities; especially when dealing with complex patients or needing that particular personality to get things done, especially in Critical Care, Stepdown, even in L & D where you never know when a delivery will be complicated.
    Being an advocate requires to be EXTREMELY assertive at times.

    I recently realized my aloofness and my impatience with people who freeze up and prefer to pass the buck combined with my experience of having to step up when I've seen people sit back and freeze or not know what to do could make the most sensitive person, or one who may have self-doubt, etc. make them feel "lateral violence"; however, I will not modify that part of my personality for the sake of patient safety. Despite that personality aspect, I am very approachable about nursing knowledge, and learning, and a good person to vent to. If one is stuck on my perhaps, "annoying" aspect of my personality that is needed, what should I do??? Risk pt safety for a co worker who should come to me and state how they feel about it?

    What I would suggest, is to COMMUNICATE because I will surely have a "come to Jesus moment" with them to enlighten them that it's NEVER personal; I'm grown enough and wear my big girl panties EVERYDAY; but my focus is on the patient; if that is your focus,we never will have an issue.

    I think the first step is if you think it's happening; ASSESS the situation; then go through the proper channels; if it's not working; and that is going to depend on leadership as well.

    I still suggest counseling.
    Last edit by LadyFree28 on Sep 28, '13
  14. Visit  FlorenceNtheMachine profile page
    #12 0
    I usually have a coffee, and jot down other insults to hurl at my coworkers when they make mistakes.