Recovering after bullying

[SombraRN]

Noting that a recent journal article published that at some point in a nurses career approximately 33% of nurses will leave a job due to workplace "violence" and 37% will actually be terminated due to the same, how does one recover professionally after that event occurs to you?

Do you upfront tell future potential employers the circumstances regarding why you left?

How did you deal with this event in your professional life?

[FlorenceNtheMachine]

I usually have a coffee, and jot down other insults to hurl at my coworkers when they make mistakes.

:)

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Bottom line is that as adults, we should be at the level of functioning where we are able to be professionally intact without conducting ourselves much like a child that hasn't matured or been taught basic communication skills. There is no reason for adults to be inappropriate at work.

So until we have managers that say "your behavior is unacceptable on my floor" there will be people who need to move to a position that is professional in atmosphere. Then one is often times "left" with being oriented to a floor that is full of people who have deep psych/social issues that as adults, I am not sure we would hear from kids, never mind other adults.

There is so much education and resources. In this day and age, if one is a bully then there's all sorts of ways one can learn how not to be one. Even teasing at school is inappropriate.

If one has self esteem issues that they need to engage in what amounts to the emotional torture of others--and co-workers at that--then you need to get a grip, and get some counseling/life skills. If not for yourself, the people who have to deal with you because they have no immediate choice--like your co-workers or heaven forbid your children--we have to be a captive audience. And really, you do know better. So cut it out, get a plan, and find a character,

Managers are afraid or apathetic to start weeding out the workers who are perpetuating drama and unease. And who knows why that is. And there are co-workers that this type of a constant stress begins to grate on one's last nerve, turns to chronic stress, which can make one physically ill and emotionally drained. Victim is a noun or a verb. And to be put in the position where I even have to think about being a victim is astounding.

For me, I am so taken aback by the apathy of the powers that be regarding co-workers who are so over the top, so unprofessional, so nasty and deeply troubled that it wears on my mind. We all have to think about caring for patients. It is sad that we also have to deal with thinking about how to deal with co-workers who need to learn how to behave and act.

And "standing up for one's self" is a nice thought, but without support of managers--who call the shots, unfortunetely, we do not--it is like peeing in the wind. " Victim/consent" line of thinking as well as "you can only control your reaction" line of thinking can work in one's personal life--depending on any number of things--however, at work one is NOT in control of the enviroment--so that puts one at a disadvantage--unless you are a manager.

And personally, there are far more important things the nurses need to be doing. Dealing with co-workler's nasty behavior because THEY need to get a grip and stop acting up is not one of them. If it was, we'd all become managers. And clean house. Cause as the saying goes "there's 100 more applicants who would like your job".

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

Not a manager, but...

How can you let someone go for not playing nice? Is that something you can get written up for?

[lmccrn62, MSN, RN]

Our facility has professional behaviors as employees must adhere to and you can get fired. I just spoke with a employee last week for telling at 2 employees. She knows that she needs to get it together or we will proceed with discipline.

About 5 yrs ago I fired someone got being negative. She was rather shocked but had been warned. Sooty if you can't be nice then you are not welcome here!

[LaRN]

when I detect someone is trying to bully me, I try to turn it around and ridicule their attempts without anyone else hearing me.

[SombraRN]

Being the OP, I have had private emails. Thank you to those who wrote. However, I am too new to the site to directly message anyone yet, but your comments were appreciated.

As I originally wrote, I wasn't really referring to the usual disagreements that occur between people from time to time. I was referring to such behavior (Workplace violence occurs horizontally and vertically) as dragging someone into a hearing based on what a confused person said which was not true, letter writing by co-workers to management who drag you into hearings over nonspecific issues, being drug into hearings for not guessing what was on a physicians mind when you have gone over your plan with an PA and it had been approved, and so on. When co-workers that you trust come up and tell you that you are being targeted, all these things that go beyond just disagreements and affect your ability to even keep your job, you have moved into the realm of harassment and bullying.

I think it is true that we need to narrow what is meant by workplace violence or how it is defined. But when one unit has an unacceptable rate of firing people for non-specific stuff, it makes you wonder just a bit.

[LaRN]

I consider myself a fairly tough individual and not much bothers me but I worked at one facility where one of the long time nurses bullied me. She would confront me over every mistake or perceived mistake I made, at one point I thought the cow was going to jump on me. I became so irritated and backed into a corner, that after 3 months of it, I turned on her and became the aggressor. I won't go into some of the nasty things I said to her, but she backed off of me for the most part. however, it had gone on so long that it just ruined my perception of the place, and I resigned. I sometimes wish i would run into her at walmart, I think I would kick her buggy.

I regret not saying something now because I'm pretty sure that whoever got that position went through the same thing I did.

[dance4life]

Not a manager, but...

How can you let someone go for not playing nice? Is that something you can get written up for?

Not yet. But, I did read somewhere that work place bullying will be something that you will be able to sue for in the future. Or, something they are "looking" into because, it really isn't harassment but, it can surely lead into that direction. I certainly believe it is a pattern. That is someone does this and an employee complains that if nothing is done they will do it over and over again to the next person they seek until well it becomes serious. People have a hard time believing that adults are being bullied but, it does happen.

It has happened to me in several jobs. I am a Traveler. I can say often enough that I have been bullied for being the newbie or what I call "fresh meat". I mentioned in another thread that I have gotten use to it, as I really have no say in what goes on as I am in a guest in someone's house, so I put up with it. For one I really do ignore it. I mean sticking up for myself does not work as if I cough wrong I can lose a contract. Did that before too, lmao!

Usually, I tend to drop what happens at work the minute I leave the hospital. I am not going to say that it doesn't affect me mentally because, sometimes I am counting the days before my assignment ends. I try to think of what my job entails. I am not there to make friends and my job is to take care of patients. For the most part I will not extend a contract or, continue on a permanently with a hospital if they have employees that do this. The places that I do want to stay at usually aren't hiring, lol!