opinions on a nurse/patient interaction

[livintall]

So recently I was requested by a family to take care of their father on any shift that I worked. I built a strong rapport with them and they were very comfortable in asking questions. One day the family approached me with the staff working that night and asked me about one particular nurse that they did not know. They asked what my thoughts were. I gave them a simple indifferent shrug. The family then asked me if I would want this particular nurse to care for my family member. I stated no. The family asked me why and I responded with that I don't care for her demeanor and her frequent lacking of complete patient care. The next day this family once again asked who was working that shift (I was not there) and in that discussion the family stated to the supervisor that they did not want this person caring for their family member. They further told the supervisor that I had said that I would not want this nurse caring for my family member. The other nurse in question has no idea any of this went on. So now I'm facing a disciplinary action with my facility. They have not been specific yet as to what they are disciplining me for and I will clarify it when I meet with HR.

So, what are your thoughts on this? I did not seek out an opportunity to demean someone nor did I do anything malicious. My perspective is that I honestly answered a specific question that was presented to me by a family member. To have answered otherwise would have been not only a lacking of honesty and integrity, but a compromising of my own self integrity and values. It was mentioned that this "disciplinary action" was happening because I had not up managed another nurse. I countered that it was wrong to compel someone to talk up another nurse if they do not feel comfortable doing so. It's no different than being a job reference for someone. Would you lie just to "talk them up"? Would an employer appreciate that quality about you or them? If I told a patient that the nurse taking over for me was "going to take great care of you" knowing that my past experiences that RN have shown otherwise, then I risk losing all that rapport that I earned with that family due to me looking dishonest or not forthcoming. Further, avoiding this would have required me to compromise my morals, ethics, and values. I would hope that others would not compromise their values to talk me up when they don't feel comfortable doing so. This other nurse has no idea any of this has happened so there is no damage done really. So please tell me what you think.

[toomuchbaloney]

I haven't read all of the posts so forgive me if this duplicates something already said.

If I was your manager I would be looking to remove you from the team.

What you did erodes trust in a very effective way and makes it impossible for you to remain a team member.

We would be meeting to discuss where else you might like to work so that I could help you to arrange that transfer.

[ktwlpn, LPN]

Looks like this thread was a "hit and run"

[Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN]

Looks like this thread was a "hit and run"

Yep. OP hasn't been back since about post #6. Guess they didn't like the responses.

[psu_213, BSN, RN]

Yep. OP hasn't been back since about post #6. Guess they didn't like the responses.

Well, he/she from the get-go thought that he/she had the high ground and was right. When, as best I can tell, 100% of the responses told him/her he/she was wrong…well, that was end of his/her participation in this discussion.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

If you have to be "special" at the expense of others than you are not really special at all. You were 100 percent wrong and deserve whatever disciplinary action you get. That family suckered you in,you bought it and now have to pay the price for not being wise about the situation. You undermined the entire healthcare team by not supporting your teammates and the family now lacks trust that their loved one will be taken care of. You created a mess and if I was that employee that you slandered I would be furious and look at my legal options and would down at HR filing a complaint against you!

[PurpleLover]

Come on...that statement you made could only end up biting you in the bottom and it did. I hope the punishment is not severe.

[idialyze, BSN, RN]

I was once the director of an in-hospital dialysis unit. We were on a contract with the hospital, provided our own staff, etc. to complete in-house dialysis treatments. We were not employed by the hospital, but had interaction with their management.

We were in a meeting one day, our company nurses, and the hospital administrators, and when questioned, an older, very experienced nurse voiced her opinion that she or her family would never dialyze in our unit. I had to relieve her of her job the very next day.

It seems as though the OP is a very new nurse, but this may also be her fate.

Would like to hear some more from her.