On being someone's breakfast....

Nurses Relations

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Hi, all...

... Thanks for taking the time to read my entry. Third level nursing student here. I have a lot of the typical glamorous plans that I won't bore you with. I'm writing today because I wanted to share my burdens, I guess, and reach out to those who've maybe been in my shoes, or plan on being in my shoes.

I just started an aid/tech position at a local LTAC facility. I really wanted this for the experience and the networking, and I'm sad to say I've had better jobs. Don't get me wrong; I love working with the patients. The patients are the best part of my day. My relationships with all of them have been rewarding in ways that I can't touch with words.

I've had a bit of a rough start for many reasons, one being my partial deafness (which has its own headaches); another being my lack of experience; another being a total lack of guidance from said facility; I could go on and on. There are nurses who are so happy to have me in the unit, but there are other nurses who, for whatever reasons, treat me with such disdain and total lack of respect that I sometimes walk away feeling like, "...w t h just happened?"

I'm a pleasant person, for the most part. In professional settings, I mind my Ps and Qs, I work hard and have a pretty great rapport with colleagues. I don't drink too much at Christmas parties. I don't post passive aggressive squabbles on FB. I'm silly when it's appropriate, and my relationships with people are generally rich.

My take-away from where I am now is that I know who and what I never want to be as a nurse, and as a person, but mostly as a nurse. I can't imagine what anyone else has gone through, because I honestly don't know. I know I can't change how people will treat me, but I know I can control how I respond.

There are so many nurses out there that I know I don't have to worry about that though, because I can genuinely be nascent, and curious, and ignorant about so many things and feel comfortable that it's ok, because they love to teach and have the compassion to do it well. It's scary to be ignorant, especially when someone else's life is in your hands. What makes it less scary, though, is a leader who can say, 'It's ok. I've been in your shoes before. It's good that you got to experience that so now you know what not to do. I'm glad I was here to save your ass. In the future, xyz would be a much more appropriate action to take.'

I know who you are. I've worked with you. I've read your posts here. All of you are a beacon of hope for this community. I want to be you one day. Thank you for your wise and compassionate guidance, because honestly, I can't be a good nurse without it.

I really hope that I can withstand the test of the nurse who eats her young....

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.

Mean people are everywhere...

good luck

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

There are those kind every where. I just don't allow them into my space. They are so swallowed up in their own miserable little world I don't waste my time. I ignore them whenever possible.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

I think that you need to keep in perspective as well. When I was a student I was chewed out good by an older nurse on the floor. I was in tears because of that "mean nurse". I was very sensitive ANY criticism. Very nervous and unsure of myself. Ironically I now work on that same floor and that nurse is a dear friend.I hate to say it but I likely earned the chewing out that she gave me.I am sure she didn't mean to terrify me the way she did, she's really a very nice lady.I don't think that most experienced nurses mean to terrify the students/new grads. Everything is just so new and scary that you tend to take it all pretty personally.

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I've gotten so much feedback as a new aid! Lol Not chewed out at all, and typically I follow it with a 'thank you for letting me know.'

The nurse who scares me is the nurse who rolls her eyes when I approach her to relay pt request information, or have a question about how to handle a task. Just yesterday, a nurse snapped at me (actually raised her voice) in front of peers AND in front of a patient (two separate occassions).

I would never ever even talk to my kids that way, let alone another adult professional in a work setting, but that's me.

I just am flabbergasted that it happens.

Thank y'all for your encouragement. Water under the bridge at this point, but it will happen again. Sometimes I just wonder how the bigger person would respond.....

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Hang in there. Sometimes all you can do is ignore those people. it's nit your fault there are the way they are. I totally know what you mean about the unprofessional behaviour.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Come work for us. We need you. ;)

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

You sound like someone I would like to work with. When I was new I did the same mental hall of shame and hall of fame when I encountered a particularly impressive nurse or equally bad nurse that I remember to this day.

We need people who find working with patients rewarding and you seem to have a pretty balanced perspective on the personalities around you. It's people who are all unicorns and rainbows or are all "everything sucks" that we worry about...:-)

Best wishes to you!

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Mean people are everywhere...

good luck

And mean people suck.

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You are quite articulate in writing( very useful in nursing school BTW)...

Use that skill in real time.

Please be aware that the rolling of eyes and raising of the voice is NOT acceptable in any facility.

The eater of the young knows this, but is attempting to push you around.

Stop dead in your tracks, make eye contact ( with a smile) and say to the muncher " I do not want you to yell at me or roll your eyes at me. You maybe be unaware that my hearing is low in my (whichever) ear. "

Should give Ms. Ratchet some food for thought.

Good luck, have a feeling you will be a tremendous asset to nursing. PM me anytime.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I love that advice. I have found that eye contact and sometimes directly addressing the person about the behaviors stops them...because 9 times out of 10, they are really insecure and cowardly deep down. And the other 1 time out of 10 they didn't realize their crabbiness was so obvious from the outside.

I hope this resolves for you quickly. You sound very much like someone I would like to work with.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
I've gotten so much feedback as a new aid! Lol Not chewed out at all, and typically I follow it with a 'thank you for letting me know.'

The nurse who scares me is the nurse who rolls her eyes when I approach her to relay pt request information, or have a question about how to handle a task. Just yesterday, a nurse snapped at me (actually raised her voice) in front of peers AND in front of a patient (two separate occassions).

I would never ever even talk to my kids that way, let alone another adult professional in a work setting, but that's me.

I just am flabbergasted that it happens.

Thank y'all for your encouragement. Water under the bridge at this point, but it will happen again. Sometimes I just wonder how the bigger person would respond.....

I make direct eye contact. Raise one eyebrow and politely say...I beg your pardon? A simple explanation will do thank you.

People like this are essentially insecure so they attempt to dominate. Take away their power and they cease pretty quickly.

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