Nurses: Why do many of you do this?

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I've been a registered nurse for two years now. Sometimes the nurses in my unit and I get together outside of work and chat. One day, the nurses were discussing about their patient encounters (non-medical related). I do not want to write what they discussed, but they were patient encounters that many people would describe as "gross."

I believe patient confidentiality (even when patients' names aren't mentioned) should be respected during work as well as outside of work. I'm sure patients already feel embarrassed about their condition, and it ANNOYS me when nurses say they will not judge patients when giving them care, but then they go around and talk about their patients conditions.

If I was a patient, I'd be angry if an RN talked about my condition outsideof work. Patients trust nurses to give them care while respecting their confidentiality. Yes, we may encounter new and different things each day, and some may feel that talking about so-called "weird" conditions helps them "bond"with others from work, but that does not give any nurse the right to talk about patients like that.

I've noticed there was a thread on allnurses entitled, "What Is Your Most Gross,Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?" This is disrespectful in my opinion. No offense to any of the nurses that do this. Thanks for letting me vent...

I understand the OP's point. It is distasteful to discuss the personal matters of our patients. It is especially problematic when you're at work and you don't know who is listening and who is related to whom. Imagine you work on a floor and are walking by the nurses' station when you hear staff talking and laughing about a GI bleed. That person with the GI bleed may be your relative (I experienced this personally). Then you start to feel angry and embarrassed. Anyway, you have a choice of pulling one of the staff who participated in the discussion aside to talk with or you can, as other posters suggest, excuse yourself and not get caught up in worry.

If there are no names, room numbers, identifying factors, etc., then it is not violating HIPAA. I understand if they are talking about a procedure or general situation; who else but another nurse would be able to understand something like having to duck because a lob of sputum flew out of patient's trach stoma? Or the nasty smell of c diff? People need to decompress, this is a known fact, so I think this is okay. We are humans too. Unless our S.O.'s or family members are in the healthcare/medical field, they won't understand it either.

However, if the nurses are actually saying, "I had this patient today who is getting this very rare procedure done because she only has two toes on one hand and a tooth growing out of her neck," then that is HIPAA violation. If they are saying something like, "I had a patient who was so overweight--I just know she's lazy and stupid because of her size," then that is something totally different from HIPAA and is actually proving lack of empathy and compassion, and they probably should not be nurses.

Person 1: Knock Knock

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: HIPAA

Person 2: HIPAA who?

PErson 1: Can't tell you. :D

Pre nursing student here, but I enjoy hearing stories of wierd/ terrible/gross episodes. It will serve me well when I'm in that spot to remember I am not the only one this has happened too, and so many others handled it with a lot more dignity than was expected.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

OP....Welcome to AN! The largest online nursing community!

What a controversial subject for your first post! :) I respect your opinion and view on this subject and probably the best thing to do if it distresses you...... would be to not be around when others need to talk and hash out their feelings by speaking with others. Where I draw the line is making fun of the patients disabilities or weight for example.....but a particular situation that was unusually difficult to clean can be common idle talk amongst nurses.

It is not HIPAA if there are no identifiers......and HIPAA makes exclusions for academic purposes. Whether you call it venting, downloading....it is debriefing. To allow individuals in high stress jobs the ability to interact and tell their stories is debriefing. Part of the reason police hang with police and firefighters with firefighters. Rescue worker with rescue workers. Part of maintaining a healthy psyche is to talk about these intense situations so that you can work through them.

When there is any traumatic event it is encouraged to allow the victims talk about it, get it out of their systems so they can heal. If we as nurses don't get it out of our systems we will EXPLODE! I think that losing the ability to talk amongst our peers stressful, invasive, disturbing, or tragic encounters leads to an increased incidence of burnout and stress.

It is professional to vent to your peers and an important way of maintaining your sanity and bonding with your co-workers forming a tighter bond which in turn makes a better team. In no way have I ever found it unprofessional or detrimental to allow staff to "blow of steam" in the appropriate setting.

Specializes in CNA.

Report them. Obviously they are violating HIPPA. lol

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Sorry. I won't be shamed for finding a way to laugh at things that might otherwise make me cry. If it is among others in the same profession it is not in poor taste, it is decompressing, bonding, perhaps even learning. If I posted on Dear Abby about it...or on Facebook...or brought it up before my family over dinner one night....if I told my non-nursing girlfriends the juicy details, if I spoke with derision, if I made a public spectacle of the incident....then sure. Shame on me. But I don't do those things. I do, however, LOVE laughing with coworkers and fellow nurses about the oddities of our jobs. I do not feel one smidge guilty for that. Sorry.

Time for popcorn:) Op it's simple. Tell them it bothers you or you can not hang out with them. As my mother always say you can either put up with it or shut up. Which means don't complain if you continue to listen to patients stories from your co-workers.

I agree OP, most people go to after work get-togethers rather begrudgingly. Rare is it that you are gonna want to be friends with work people in nursing. It's just not the nature of nursing - way to distrustful. So you show up to be seen that you are "one of the guys" and have one drink, stay for 30 minutes and then leave. Done.

Nursing is not like the world I left. I do have many long term work friends from that other career.

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
I agree OP, most people go to after work get-togethers rather begrudgingly. Rare is it that you are gonna want to be friends with work people in nursing. It's just not the nature of nursing - way to distrustful. So you show up to be seen that you are "one of the guys" and have one drink, stay for 30 minutes and then leave. Done.

Nursing is not like the world I left. I do have many long term work friends from that other career.

I fully understand that this has been your experience ... but it is not universally true in nursing. Maybe the ED is a different breed, but in every ED I have worked in, frequent socializing of both the organized variety (parties, outings, family picnics) and impromptu happy hours/breakfast-and-beer mornings has been the rule - and it has included not only nurses but physicians and support staff as well.

I addition to destressing, I actually learn a lot from the stories. Most recently I learned that nitro paste can be used topically to relieve severe constipation but that it can work a little TOO well. My senior coworkers have decades of material to draw on and it gives us something to bond over, gets me through challenging moments of my own (if Betty could keep a calm poker face through X situation, I need to and can do the same now), and after a really rough code or trauma, laughing over silly situations reminds me that life goes on and is often funny. OP, if you don't see the benefit in sharing war stories, it's totally OK to excuse yourself when they start.

As you have said, as long as privacy is not violated, personal names or any unique identity is not revealed, a good and healthy sense of humor is not bad. Human disease, although possibly funny, is not always humorous if humor becomes laughing at people and not with people. The harm will be done not to the patient but to the degradation of human sensitivity. Clean humor is good, as long as no one is insulted or degraded, whether they know it or not.

OP, let them know how you feel. That you are sooooo much more professional than they are and no longer want to participate in this horrible practice. I'm sure they will jump at the chance to be more like you. Or they'll quit asking you to hang out with them. Either way, problem solved.

I betcha plumbers talk about the worse toilet they ever unclogged!

I'm sure they're much too professional for that. Only nurses (because they're all women) are so disrespectful as to vent about their jobs. I think it all started when we quit wearing white dresses and standing up whenever the MD walked on the unit.

Most recently I learned that nitro paste can be used topically to relieve severe constipation but that it can work a little TOO well.

Please share more. Just on the rectum, or more like a suppository? I'm thinking a few days ago I maybe could have saved a trip to the OR for disimpaction if I'd been hanging out with you more often...

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