Nurses who hate patients - advice

[livelaughlove09]

I'm afraid I'm too idealistic. I'm actually reeling and so irritated I want to jump out of my skin. Here's my situation...

I want to spew all the information but of course you never know who's reading so I'll just be somewhat vague. I work on a busy inpatient unit, absolutely love my job, love my patients, love my coworkers (mostly..). We have all worked with those who are less than thrilled with patient care, but I have been working with certain nurses who hate patients. Not one difficult patient, but patients in general. All patients. Not nurses who have been nurses for 30 years and they're a little jaded or a lot jaded or tired of patient care, new nurses, nurses who haven't been nurses for a year, not even for 6 months.

Im disappointed that these people care for my patients. Sometimes, in certain circumstances, I'm afraid for my patients, because their care is entrusted to someone who will tell you from their own lips they don't want to deal with patients and they retreat to their workstation to make up their charting. Really. Does this actually happen often?? I worked with someone who was just so ethically challenged that I couldn't help but report to the nurse in charge who immediately made excuses for her and waved me off. So I decided to report to the oncoming charge nurse who said she would speak with the nurse manager.

I am not a troublemaker. I am well respected by the majority of my coworkers, highly respected by my doctors and my nursing administration. I act as a charge nurse as well, I just didn't happen to be in charge when this was all going down.

I try to be personable with everyone I work with, but I am there to do a job, as is everyone else. I get the feeling that those coworkers that I have that are less than thrilled with me (and there are only a couple) are that way because I am this overachiever, type A, go get em and do the best job you can do every minute of the day type of person. Now, that being said, I don't hold everyone else to the same standard that I hold myself to, but I have a really serious issue with people who don't care to the point that they are neglectful and dangerous (as was the case here.)

I just don't know how to handle this without blowing a stack, mostly because this isn't a one time occurrence, but a continuous problem.

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

Some patients are just plain mean. Their behavior is perfectly under their control and they're ALWAYS outwardly aggressive.

Yep! Totally true, but THAT is their problem, they are always acting out. Just because someone is downright nasty, it doesn't negate the fact that what is happening in their (sometimes illogical, even evil) minds is a battle they fight. Everyone has a cross to bear.

sn: I am not talking about the ones with sociopathic and manipulative tendencies, they operate on a whole other playing field.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

How can you be a nurse and not start to dislike the people you care for? Hate is much too strong a word though.

Somebody explain to me how that's possible.

Not all of them, but a good portion of my shift is spent with people I don't like.

Sick people are not at their best, and after 20 years I've exhausted all the reserves of understanding I had. It's gone. Caput. Empty.

I wish I were more like Mother Theresa, but I'd bet my next paycheck, there was a time or two when even she didn't like those in her care.

[nursel56]

If a nurse is being neglectful and dangerous, then you need to report this. If you get no where, there are ethic hotlines of parent companies, employee relations that are part of parent company HR departments.

My thoughts exactly. Also if you know they are making up their documentation, you have to report it. Hated that I had to do that very early in my career but I do not regret it.

[whichone'spink, BSN, RN]

On my renal floor, we get lots of patients that fit the same profile: All from the same ethnic background, but of different tribes, all in ESRD on dialysis, mostly diabetic, non compliant with most treatments and they seem to have a high entitlement mentality. It's hard not to cringe when I find I'm assigned to a patient from that same ethnic background because they all act the same. I've met only two patients from that background that were polite and respectful to me. I hate stereotyping people because I'm an ethnic minority myself, but they exist for a reason.

[nik77natural]

On my renal floor we get lots of patients that fit the same profile: All from the same ethnic background, but of different tribes, all in ESRD on dialysis, mostly diabetic, non compliant with most treatments and they seem to have a high entitlement mentality. It's hard not to cringe when I find I'm assigned to a patient from that same ethnic background because they all act the same. I've met only two patients from that background that were polite and respectful to me. I hate stereotyping people because I'm an ethnic minority myself, but they exist for a reason.[/quote']

***** "same ethnic background". Smh

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

As a charge nurse, it's part of your job to know who gives good care, who is knowledgable, who can be depended upon to handle a really heavy or really acute assignment and who cannot.

I really hate this line of thinking. I'm someone who can be depended on to handle any assignment, so charge nurses tend to dump on me when the burnout cases whine.

[ArtClassRN, ADN, RN]

On my renal floor we get lots of patients that fit the same profile: All from the same ethnic background, but of different tribes, all in ESRD on dialysis, mostly diabetic, non compliant with most treatments and they seem to have a high entitlement mentality. It's hard not to cringe when I find I'm assigned to a patient from that same ethnic background because they all act the same. I've met only two patients from that background that were polite and respectful to me. I hate stereotyping people because I'm an ethnic minority myself, but they exist for a reason.[/quote']

I think I know the ethnic background you are speaking of. I find they don't all act the same, although being confrontational and demanding is a common thread.

One tactic I use is the same with all patients with boundary issues: set boundaries. A good old "No!" PRN helps a lot here. Not "I'll check" or "I'll ask" or "Maybe," but "NO." As in, "NO the doctor is not coming back tonight. Your orders are entered and your plan is in place. I understand you are not happy with what the kitchen sends because of your diet orders, but you are free to discuss that with all your doctors in the morning."

I find this works almost astonishingly well. Some patients (no matter the background) are searching for boundaries and they are anxious when they haven't found them. So I fulfill this need.

Note that second and third generation patients and family members and patients from the category you mention almost always have assimilated local cultural norms for communication and in fact are some of the nicest people I have ever met.