My God, these family members!!

Nurses Relations

Published

They are just killing me. Why is it that so many of them feel so entitled to sit in their aging parents rooms and just boss us nurses to HELL and back, while they sit there, fully able to do much of what we're doing for their parent, but simply do NOT have the time to do when we have other patients and issues to deal with. i MEAN -- can't they get mom up at least perhaps ONCE during the day? Does it have to be a nurse doing it every single time, ten times a day??

I just came off a shift tonight where I literally waitressed all day long, making and fetching coffee and water and 100 millions cups of juice for these patients (because we're always short a tech) -- and a patient's daughter was literally screaming at nurses at change of shift to come in and do something or other for her mother. It was absolutely NOT an emergency. (She was actually screaming -- "Good thing it WASN'T an emergency!!" These people have been on our unit for over 2-3 weeks, running every nurse on the unit ragged. Their mother is far over 80 years old and is only going to head to weeks of rehab after being on our unit. They want a private nurse -- that is what they want and need. But they can't get that on a floor. I think their call light was on for perhaps five minutes, max.

I am just SO tired of family members not understanding what we do -- and our managers from the floor to the corporate headquarters not backing us up to explain it to them. We are simply to treat everyone as our "family members" and go above and beyond 1000 percent of the time. Who goes above and beyond FOR NURSES??? DOES ANYONE???

We have no private space to do our charting, we are like fish in a bowl for these family members. If they see you at the nursing station -- that's it. They are ON YOU like flies. If they don't have a reason to bug you, they will find one. So, you don't get your charting done on time and are left to stay after a shift for an hour.

I am just so tired of it. So burnt out. Is it any wonder why they can't keep nurses for long? I mean -- come on, management -- take a LOOK at what you are doing to nurses nowadays. Put some LIMITS, please, on these family members. It is OUT OF CONTROL. :madface:

Specializes in Psychiatry.

Dang!

I knew I should have minored in hospitality management.... :lol2:

0 Votes
Specializes in school nursing.
I might have charted something like "Summoned to room, requests ginger ale. States he has been waiting for "over an hour". This nurse explained inability to immediately fulfill request due to emergent situation, but offered to do so now. States "I don't care, you *****. I wanted a drink and I am putting your name on my survey because I am dissatisfied!" Ginger ale provided, no further requests at this time. Will continue to monitor." :D

Love your way of thinking!

Actually, this is one (of many) reasons I left hospital nursing. It takes a lot of sweat and high level of critical thinking skills to even make it through nursing school. If I wanted to be a waitress .......I would have saved lots of time, money, and heartache and just gotten a job at Chili's!:angryfire

New admits are oriented to how to use their call button.......but very little on when to use it. I understand the need for good customer service. However, I think things have gone a bit too far when we are geeting cussed out over a ginger ale.

Sometimes, I just want to scream "Nurses are humans too! They need to eat, drink fluids, use the restroom, take breaks and they even have feelings too!!!"

0 Votes
Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

Sometimes, I just want to scream "Nurses are humans too! They need to eat, drink fluids, use the restroom, take breaks and they even have feelings too!!!"

God forbid we say that, we'd all be in the manager's office with a write-up in our files. :uhoh3: I just don't care. If a family is acting totally out of line, I'm gonna say what I need to say.

0 Votes
Specializes in Geriatrics, Cath Lab, Cardiology,Neuro.

I love the HHA clients I had who claimed they had no energy, and they were in pain, but would stand over me like a hawk while I cleaned their house, and one had "glaucoma" but miracously could see 1 piece of lint on the floor I just vacuumed and he would call it "dirty"

0 Votes
Specializes in SICU,CVICU,ER,PACU.
ridiculous...customer service should be something you get at a restaurant or a hotel, not a hospital. :angryfire

doesn't it just drive you nuts?? we can thank our "wonderful" hospital admins for it!

wait! it can get much worse! i know of an hospital where they provide .*.*.*
:wshgrt:.*.*.*.(clue: it's pink)

(the :devil:funniest:angryfire part is how i've learned about it)

~the patient asks her nurse: "when will i be served breakfast?"

... and i am thinking for myself "hellooo..hospital! not hostel!". the nurse turns around and with a big smile and a sweet voice says: "but my dear, you have to call
room service
to order first ". thinking that she is being sarcastic, i start laughing uncontrollably
:lol2:
....until i notice that the nurse is indeed handing the patient a
menu
, while both
are :angryfire glaring at me.

i almost fell off my chair!

the patient is on the phone passing her order for poached eggs, but when she hangs up she looks like someone has just farted under her nose.

i can't help myself but ask why she seem so....heu...upset (???)

god! i should have kept it shut! for the following 2 hours she went on and on like a broken record, repeating again and again : "can you believe this!? they don't have poached eggs!! ! that is incredible!!! it is just unbelievable!! no poached eggs!!!!"

:bugeyes:

as it turns out, that hospital has hired a well renown hilton (or some other posh hotel) ceo to be the head of the hostelpital!!

i have been having anxiety attacks ever since....:anbd:

0 Votes
Specializes in Geriatrics, Cath Lab, Cardiology,Neuro.

Alot of hospitals in my area are turning to "room service" and one has housekeeping leaving a little card saying "this room was cleaned by ________, if you are dissatisfied please call ext ______"!

0 Votes

I absolutely LOVE the idea of hiring "hospitality" staff members. This is exactly what we need. Someone to FETCH the gingerale, the crackers, the water pitchers, and, of course, the coffee -- all day long so NURSES CAN DO THEIR FRICKING WORK. The techs need it, too. They are far too busy doing vitals, turns, accuchecks, baths, etc. They don't have the time either! Family members could go straight to these people with all of their requests and be told that hospitality staff will not be available after 8 p.m.

I spent probably a total of 30 mins to one hour of my shift the other day either taking the coffee request, making the coffee, serving the coffee, running around trying to find supplies, spoons, sugars, etc.; then making more coffee because the first pot was consumed so quickly. Then there was the time spent putting in the diet order so the coffee could be ON THE TRAYS, following up with dietary, making calls, etc, etc. And I will honestly tell you -- I missed a med order -- didn't do it the right way, because, well, you know -- I was so busy making the GD coffee all day long!! And NO, you cannot tell these people NO. THIS is what they want us to do -- deliver on this so customer satisfaction ratings will remain at acceptable levels.

And you can NEVER ask a tech to do any of this. We're not to overburden them. They don't make enough money and are already so physically overworked it's not even funny. We are the nurses. We make the "big bucks," so it's our job.

Meanwhile, our managers will float around filling those coffee requests, oh, maybe once a month to "demonstrate" to us that good old customer service with a smile -- but then will be utterly ABSENT when you're busy with a full load and have a "coffee" requester all day long.

And I could really use a quiet spot to do my charting for at least 10 minutes before I get interruped again for another package of crackers. I'm sorry. I'm treated and held responsible for others lives, expected to BE a professional -- YET, I'm treated like I don't even have a quiet SEAT at my workplace.

I just hope some admin type somewhere reads this post, reads allnurses.com. Do they even know what we're going through?

We have already also instituted the "room service" cards also on the beds. I hear "room service" is also coming. And, to add, our management has just finalized plans to add an extra three pages fo paperwork at discharge so we can be more "jhaco" compliant.

I'm ready to explore jobs at government run hospitals -- hoping to see if it's any different.

0 Votes

wait! it can get much worse! i know of an hospital where they provide .*.*.*
:wshgrt:.*.*.*.(clue: it's pink)

(the :devil:funniest:angryfire part is how i've learned about it)

~the patient asks her nurse: "when will i be served breakfast?"

... and i am thinking for myself "hellooo..hospital! not hostel!". the nurse turns around and with a big smile and a sweet voice says: "but my dear, you have to call
room service
to order first ". thinking that she is being sarcastic, i start laughing uncontrollably
:lol2:
....until i notice that the nurse is indeed handing the patient a
menu
, while both
are :angryfire glaring at me.

i almost fell off my chair!

the patient is on the phone passing her order for poached eggs, but when she hangs up she looks like someone has just farted under her nose.

i can't help myself but ask why she seem so....heu...upset (???)

god! i should have kept it shut! for the following 2 hours she went on and on like a broken record, repeating again and again : "can you believe this!? they don't have poached eggs!! ! that is incredible!!! it is just unbelievable!! no poached eggs!!!!"

:bugeyes:

as it turns out, that hospital has hired a well renown hilton (or some other posh hotel) ceo to be the head of the hostelpital!!

i have been having anxiety attacks ever since....:anbd:

[/quote

did they tell her why? when i worked food service (many) many years ago......you would need a docs order for them, they werent considered safe.....

0 Votes
Specializes in ER.

Amazingly JCAHO hospitals don't all have the same requirements. All those extra questions are just what administration feels needs to be done. I've worked 7 hospitals and it's amazing what is passed off as JCAHO's fault when a hospital up the street is accredited too and has (for example) medications, syringes and needles in every patient room. I'm not kidding, and they were surveyed, and passed, while I worked there. Makes you wonder what it would take to flunk the survey.

0 Votes
Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
Love your way of thinking!

Actually, this is one (of many) reasons I left hospital nursing. It takes a lot of sweat and high level of critical thinking skills to even make it through nursing school. If I wanted to be a waitress .......I would have saved lots of time, money, and heartache and just gotten a job at Chili's!:angryfire

New admits are oriented to how to use their call button.......but very little on when to use it. I understand the need for good customer service. However, I think things have gone a bit too far when we are geeting cussed out over a ginger ale.

Sometimes, I just want to scream "Nurses are humans too! They need to eat, drink fluids, use the restroom, take breaks and they even have feelings too!!!"

It KILLS me when a family member comes to the desk asking for the nurse of their loved one and when told that nurse is at lunch they get angry and pitch a fit. i couldnt help myself one day and said "did you eat lunch today? it's 2pm and she is just now eating hers so NO i wont call her to come back to the floor. she'll be back in 30 minutes" (it was NOT an emergency..was something stoopid i cant remember now)

0 Votes
Specializes in Staff nurse.

Will hospitality staff make sure of a patient's dietary restrictions or NPO status if they are there to fetch coffee/drinks/snacks? Will they document what was given to the patient, and if the patient consumed said coffee/drinks/snacks?

We have to be careful not to "deligate" duties that have to be documented.

0 Votes
Specializes in ER/Trauma.

A few thoughts::

* When I worked night shift on a busy Ortho-Neuro-med/surg unit, more often than not, I was thankful to have a family member spend the night. Most of my patients were over 70 years of age and prone to sun-downers/dementia/confusion.

Now, generally speaking as a nurse:

* I have no problems assisting family members. However, I will not compromise "patient care" in order to serve "family care". Family members are more than welcome to raid the vending machines and I'm more than happy to point directions.

* One of the frequent complains I get from irate patients/family members in the Emergency Department is "when am I/pt. getting a room?!" If they're in the hallway, I politely explain that I'll have a room for them in the ED as soon I can. If they're waiting for a bed upstairs, I patiently explain that things are really out of my hands since I'm not in charge of writing orders and assigning beds.

I've had family complain about their relative lying in a stretcher in the hallway - believe me, I understand. Heck, I wouldn't want to lie in a stretcher in the hallway! However, I'm also not averse to pointing out to said family members to look around - "I'm sorry but we're full. As you can see, there are other patients in the hall way too. I'm sorry I don't have a room for the pt. yet but we do not operate under a first come-first served basis. The second a room opens up, I'll move the pt. in. Until then, I'm sorry but my hands are tied."

By the By: I've also noticed that by and large, these kind of complaints generally grow muted and silent when they see EMS wheeling in a patient with CPR in progress....

* I have often informed my patients of where I might be tied up for the next few minutes before I attend to their needs. E.g.: "Hey Mr. Smith. I understand your pain level is increasing and you need some more pain medication. However another patient urgently requires my attention right away. I promise to return ASAP and if I can't I'll get a colleague to talk to the Doctor about more pain medication".

* I make it a firm point of mine to impress upon the family members that they are NOT to give anything to the patient without my consent - be it food, water or medicine. If they break this rule, it goes in the chart. If they repeatedly break this rule, either the doc has a "chat" with them or security 'escorts' family out.

* I'm generally not in favor of family members doing ADLs on my patients. Lay folks don't usually know to see/recognise signs/symptoms of potential complications (e.g.: Syncope. Not every patient complains of "diziness" before passing out etc.) But hey, if family wants to get the pt. an ice pack or a glass of juice etc., feel free by all means!

* There have been numerous ocassions when I've had some family vaccate a patient's room. Our ER rooms are only so big - cramming 6 family members in there only serves to impede my job. One (at the most 2) family members only, please. There's more comfortable seating in the waiting area and you guys are welcome to rotate.

UNLESS, we're talking about a code (or a recent pronouncement) - then it's a case by case basis...

cheers,

0 Votes
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