Management Type

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

To Nurse Managers and RNs: I would like to know what management type the following is, if there is a particular name for it:

Your Nurse Manager calls you into the office and says "Can you tell me about your visit with patient A". Bear in mind, the nurse may have seen said patient months ago and the survey may have come back and the family may have had a complaint or concern. The name of the patient rings a bell, but you need your memory jogged, so your manager gives you the date of the visit, and tells you what the visit to the patient was for.

You finally remember the in-home visit, but you are trying to figure out why you are in the manager's office on the hot seat, and come right out and ask her "is there something wrong done at the visit?" "Do you need me to sign the write up paper, I have 3 patients left to see?" Manager divulges no information, and repeats, "Can you tell me about the visit?"

You jog your memory, open your work computer, read your charting, and recite details about the visit. The manager asks you a few pointed questions about the visit, seeming to be looking for something in particular, but never tells you what the concern is. YET. Finally after 30 or 40 minutes of going around in circles, she divulges bits and pieces of what the family was upset about, and you are asked to explain your rationale of how you dealt with the issue or the family.

Finally, close to the end of the meeting the manager tells you what the complaint was, tells you what you should have or should not have done, says you will be called back in the office in the upcoming days, but that the issue will be further investigated first. God, I hate this manager. Later, after being called back into the office, you are written up.

She says, "We just wanted to get what you had to say" as she hands you the paper you must sign.

The meetings take forever because this style I find very disturbing and I am not giving the manager exactly what she wants---I get the feeling she wants me to say I did something wrong at the visit right up front so she won't have to do it, I believe--that's nonsense. She wants me to trip myself up and have my stories not match. I've been to law school. That will not happen.

SO WHAT THE HECK IS THIS MANAGEMENT STYLE? HOW CREEPY! AND HOW DO I GET HER OFF MY BACK. I AM 49 years old for heaven sake!

I am used to a former manager at this same job taking you into the office and saying, "Okay, the reason why you are here is because patient x's family said this and that, what can you tell me about the interaction?" And she never had the HR person in the room. I much prefer this approach as it is efficient and not embarrasing; and the manager in this case is not trying to get you to implicate yourself. She comes right out and tells you what the issue is IN THE BEGINNING. Also, you don't necessarily get written up at the end of the meeting because she has BELIEVED your side of the story. The other management style is a type of "baiting" that I do not appreciate because after an hour-long meeting I still get the feeling she is upset that she could not "trip me up". I also feel like she doesn't believes a word I am saying. She also has the human resources manager in there with us the whole time, writing every thing out on a pad of paper. They are friends. I just get the feeling this manager really enjoys this aspect of the job and it is driving me nuts. I spend every day wondering if I will get a page, email, text, or phone call asking me to come into the office again. It's funny; she seems like a nice person otherwise. I don't want to hate her, but this has happened four times in the past year(when our census climbed and nurses left in droves and the rest of us were over-worked).

It's a shame; I have worked here almost three years and my problem started when this manager took over about a year ago. Recently she had a health problem that kept her out of the office over a month and I was in heaven. She has a lot of drama in her family with loser kids, etc...she's raising a grandchild--How do I know this? Because she chit-chats with me before the HR manager comes into the meeting. I am so hoping the drama of her life and health will get her the ax so I won't have to put up with her anymore.

When I leave this job I will specifically state in my resignation that I am leaving just because of her management style. What is the name of this exasperating management style? Anyone?

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

I really have no clue what to call it except exasperating. Maybe beating around the bush? She should have just asked you about the pt up front. You did ask her if you did anything wrong , and right then and there she should have said "the family of Pt A had some concerns about how you handled something." What is so hard about that?

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

Why does this style need to have a particular label? Is there some sort of industry standard for mgmt style labels? If there were one, how would you use it?

Sounds to me as if somebody went to a management and/or HR seminar and learned that you should let the "accused" speak first. It's always been standard practice to have an HR "witness" for any sort of disciplinary action or firing; this is, of course, a CYA maneuver but also a way to document that policy was followed in whatever ensues.

This too shall pass.

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

Sounds like an interrogation. Yikes.

[hope3456, ASN, RN]

Passive aggressive? Tyrannical? Overly punitive? i have been in a similar situation where, IMO, NM seems only concerned with you signing the write up rather than correcting the situation or objectively listening to your side of the issue.

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

Passive aggressive? Tyrannical? Overly punitive? i have been in a similar situation where, IMO, NM seems only concerned with you signing the write up rather than correcting the situation or objectively listening to your side of the issue.

Then just hand me the paper to sign and tell me what I did from the outset. Her style is very inefficient and frustrating.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Accusatory? Rude? Ineffective...You can use whatever descriptive words you want to, however, if you have been to law school, then you do know that you do have the right to remain silent. I would have asked for a detail of the information that the NM had against you. I would have asked for time to reflect on the meeting and the information you received, and make another appointment for you to discuss your side of the issue once you have reviewed all of the accusations in writing. Review, contact your malpractice insurance to discuss specifics with them.

I would respectfully decline signing anything, ask if you can include a statement of your side for your personnell file, and the you will sign an acknowledgement of receipt only. Advocate for yourself, protect your job.

Manager's style and managers as people are two different things. As is anyone's life outside of the facility. I hear what you are saying, but you lost me with the "loser kids" and "raising a grandaughter" It is a bit excessive, and should not have been called into play in your post. Don't attack her character as a person--and as you stated in your post "she is a nice person otherwise". Her management style may be way off base, however, I don't see that she outwardly disrespected you in the same fashion.

[IRF-Nurse]

I am used to a former manager at this same job

First problem... yes, you are used to a former person's way of doing it... from your comments I take it that person is gone. Truly you need to get over this part... it is not fair to yourself, nor your manager to keep comparing the new manager to the prior one.

"You can't move forward when you're holding onto the past"

Also, you don't necessarily get written up at the end of the meeting because she has BELIEVED your side of the story.

THAT sounds like the problem truly... you don't appear to feel believed/supported. SAY that to her, and to the corporate superior of HR. That's not a judgement nor a complaint, but an information that manager needs in order to better benefit herself, the company, the team, and the patients.

Then really look at it honestly... are you the only one feeling unsupported? Do others also describe this? Or is it possible that you have had a series of complaints and the manager is becoming convinced that you do not seek to improve/grow in response to guidance? Is the entire team missing the mentoring portion of the management role?

She also has the human resources manager in there with us the whole time, writing every thing out on a pad of paper. They are friends.

OK, so therein is another piece of the problem... if you're right and they are "friends" not just peers with a good working relationship, then both may be stepping into unethical bounds... and the corporate HR person should look to see if that is the case.... if you're NOT right and you're assuming this based on a good working relationship, you're subconsciously putting yourself as an 'outsider' to the leadership.... and in general, putting up a barrier between you and your manager that will likely not go well for you.

** You have choices... heck maybe your history of studying law has made her approach you differently out of defensiveness and wanting to be sure she isn't being "snowed" by someone who knows how to win an argument.....

[gcupid]

It has occurred 4x's. How many more times does it take before you realize you dont have to play that game? Instead of being frustrated, you can transfer that stress to your manager. If the manager does not say the purpose behind the meeting with in 5 minutes, I'd directly state I don't recall the patient but is there is something specific you'd like to discuss....

The next step would be your manager handing you documentation papers to jog your memory. Your next step should be, I can't remember the patient. No matter what the manager says, you don't give information (if u remember) until she states specifically what the hell the matter is concerning. I wouldn't waste more than 3 minutes going over documentation papers. I'd say I don't recall the patient. There's no pondering needing. "I don't remember."

I'd get to the point in which I'd start having small talk with the HR manager before the meeting. Hey, how are u? I don't know what occurred this time but hopefully it doesn't take too long cause I'm hungry, there's this new restaurant... Etc. how are the kids? Just any dumb thing.

If asked, how come u remember so vividly now after the manager gives the true intent behind the meeting.... You can say, it just came to me all of a sudden or plainly say the last 4 meetings lasted too long and I wanted to get to the point of solving this problem right away...

[morte, LPN, LVN]

Yup, play her, instead of being played.

It has occurred 4x's. How many more times does it take before you realize you dont have to play that game? Instead of being frustrated, you can transfer that stress to your manager. If the manager does not say the purpose behind the meeting with in 5 minutes, I'd directly state I don't recall the patient but is there is something specific you'd like to discuss....

The next step would be your manager handing you documentation papers to jog your memory. Your next step should be, I can't remember the patient. No matter what the manager says, you don't give information (if u remember) until she states specifically what the hell the matter is concerning. I wouldn't waste more than 3 minutes going over documentation papers. I'd say I don't recall the patient. There's no pondering needing. "I don't remember."

I'd get to the point in which I'd start having small talk with the HR manager before the meeting. Hey, how are u? I don't know what occurred this time but hopefully it doesn't take too long cause I'm hungry, there's this new restaurant... Etc. how are the kids? Just any dumb thing.

If asked, how come u remember so vividly now after the manager gives the true intent behind the meeting.... You can say, it just came to me all of a sudden or plainly say the last 4 meetings lasted too long and I wanted to get to the point of solving this problem right away...

[morte, LPN, LVN]

Manager's style and managers as people are two different things. As is anyone's life outside of the facility. I hear what you are saying, but you lost me with the "loser kids" and "raising a grandaughter" It is a bit excessive, and should not have been called into play in your post. Don't attack her character as a person--and as you stated in your post "she is a nice person otherwise". Her management style may be way off base, however, I don't see that she outwardly disrespected you in the same fashion.

The import of her comment on the manager's life style is relevant and not disrespectful, re: to the fact the manager was inappropriately sharing this info with the OP.

[hope3456, ASN, RN]

I agree and it lends evidence to her character in general.