Here is a great article!!!!
Dealing With Complainers
(excerpt from article)
The things we normally do about complainers and why they don't work.
There are several strategies people use around complainers, none of which really work.
1: Cheering them up doesn't work
As in "Oh, it can't be that bad", "Come on, cheer up!" or the perennial favorite: "Time heals all wounds".
Saying things like this shows the complainer that you're not taking their pain seriously. When you tell a complainer "it's not that bad", he wilpainten complain even harder to convince you (and himself) that his problems are very serious indeed.
2: Suggesting solutions doesn't work
"Why don't you...", "have you tried..." or even worse "You should really have..."
The complainers' problems are really serious and can't be solved by a few smart-ass suggestions from you. Or so they've convinced themselves. The more you try to suggest solutions, the harder they will work to convince you and themselves that these solutions could never possibly work for them.
3: Telling them to pull themselves together doesn't work
"Quit complaining and do something about it" or one of my favorites: "You either want the problem or you want the solution".
Yeah, telling them that their problems are trivial and they just need to pull themselves together is going to work juuuuust fine. All complainers magically stop complaining at this. Or do they?
4: Complaining about the complainers doesn't work
"Damn, that Sally complains a lot doesn't she?"
Guess what, you just became a complainer
5: Ignoring them / avoiding them doesn't work
This makes complainers clamor for attention even more - which usually makes people ignore them even more. That's a vicious cycle right there.
6: Complaining along with them doesn't work
"You know what, you're right, the boss IS a jerk. And the weather sucks. In fact everything sucks."
This can be kind of cosy because it creates bonding and an us-against-the-world feeling. But ultimately it's a bad idea because the more people complain the less prone they are to doing something about their problems.
I remember one of the first jobs I had where my manager was a complete dolt. My co-workers and I couldn't start a meeting, go out for a beer or just meet in the hallway without spending 15-20 minutes complaining about him and his stupid ways.
But all those man-hours spent complaining changed nothing and none of us ever did anything about it. Except quit the company one by one
7: Confronting them doesn't work
You can drive the complaints underground where you don't see them, but they will probably still be going on. And repressed complaining is worse than open complaining because it gets to stew and grow while it's hidden.
*To add, Also, I have worked with complainers in the past and I would say a lot of them have Anger issues that really need to be addressed and/or undiagnosed Depression.