"It's Not That Special --

Nurses Relations

Published

--ty!"

Not long ago, I was admonished for posting in a specialty forum when I admittedly had never worked in that specialty. It surprised me, because the question being discussed had very little (if anything) to do with that actual specialty, but was more a general question that nursing staff in ANY specialty could have asked -- or answered.

The poster whose header screams "New to Orthopedics, and Everyone Is Mean To me" probably isn't asking for advice on how to toilet a patient with a recent hip replacement, but on how to get along with her brand new colleagues. Now I've never worked orthopedics, either, but I have been a patient there. The nurses I met working there seemed an awful lot like the nurses I've encountered in the specialties I HAVE worked, and the "politics" of the situations didn't seem to be all that much different. A Labor & Delivery nurse, an ER nurse and even (gasp!) an ICU nurse might be able to advise the poster without knowing a thing about orthopedics.

The brand new L & D nurse professes herself to be a good Christian and who posed a question about how to tolerate the immorality of her patients just isn't that different from the brand new ICU nurse fresh from a famous Bible College who announced that "The male nurses here are all immoral" and that she shouldn't be expected to work with such people. Neither question pertains to the specialty the new nurse is working in, but instead seems to be about how do you work with people whose values (morals) are very different from yours and perhaps about judging. You don't have to be a good Christian (or a bad one, for that matter), an L & D nurse or an ICU nurse to be able to shed some light on the subject for the new nurse involved.

"Failing Orientation -- What to do?"

"New LTC nurse being bullied!"

"How to deal with rude and arrogant surgeons?"

"Am I Cut Out For Nursing?"

"New L & D nurse here, can't do night shifts!"

"Is The First Year Of Nursing Really That Bad?"

"Do I really have to be a bedside nurse before I become an NP?"

"Help! I Work In ER And They Expect Me to Drive To Work In A Blizzard!" or

"HURRICANE?! I Have Small Children!"

"They Don't REALLY Expect Me to Work Christmas Do they?"

These are all questions that aren't really specialty related. They may be posted in the poster's specialty forum because that's where the poster normally starts, but when they show up in the "Get Daily" threads, anyone can answer. No, I cannot teach the new L & D nurse who is failing orientation about how to do a lady partsl check . . . but I can advise her on new ways to LEARN to do a lady partsl check, just as an experienced L & D preceptor might advise my orientee that if I'm not good at teaching her to do pacer sensing and stim tests, she might seek out another experienced nurse and ask for clarification or perhaps just a different way to look at the problem, that she might look up the procedure and read it before starting to do the checks, that she might look on AN or some other forum for tips on pacer checks, or that she might consult her nurse educator for specific advice. I can also advise her to go into the meeting with her manager humbly, ask for specific areas where she's failing and display a good attitude about improving. I don't think I'd be offended if an ED or L & D or LTC or Oncology nurse wandered onto the ICU specialty forum through the "Daily" results and made any of those same -- or better -- suggestions.

So how about the rest of you? Are you offended if an ICU nurse wanders onto (or hangs out on) your ER forum? (The ER forum is definitely funnier than the ICU forum!) Are you Oncology nurses upset if an ER nurse answers a question on your forum entitled "Where do I find the best scrubs?" If a L & D nurse answers a question entitled "Just started in ICU and my Preceptor Hates Me"?

I'm assuming that everyone would be offended if I, who hasn't worked oncology in 30 years, started giving advice about chemo protocols to a newbie or advised an orientee on a LTC unit about time management. But what about the more general questions?

Agree with the original post. If the post is general in nature and not specialty specific - I mean truly specialty specific - then I jump in when I wish. It's a public forum people! Anyone that wishes to take the time to set up an account can join. Do you think the Allnurses personnel do background checks to verify credentials? Really?

:roflmao:You crack me up...

My answer is: When I saw allnurses dot com, I took it to mean ALL nurses can chime in, because we're one big crazy family that can hopefully, generally understand and help one another!:yes:

I love people like you that are on here! It seems like more and more of the nurses on here are becoming bitter towards e/o and that is good for the site, nor is it good for those prospect nurses who are trying to find friendly advice to keep them from feeling like all nurses are mean as the ones they might encounter in person. If we turn off every newbie who comes into this forum, then we will get less and less people wanting to become nurses. I think treating each person like their feelings are important, even on here, are good values of a nurse being put into action outside of the hospital. We represent nurses everywhere.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Treating each person like their feelings are important is huge I agree. Does not mean validating them at any cost instead of being honest. I agree people need to be polite and supportive, but at some point you have to become direct and honest.

I guess I am getting burned out from bending over backward to be supportive and give helpful advice and then if that is not what they wanted to hear they react by being spitting mad and saying everyone is being "mean". Even to people who like the advice given it has become extremely rare to even hear a thank you.

Not disagreeing with you at all NeoNatMom. Just recognizing that it is a 2 way street.................................

I love people like you that are on here! It seems like more and more of the nurses on here are becoming bitter towards e/o and that is good for the site, nor is it good for those prospect nurses who are trying to find friendly advice to keep them from feeling like all nurses are mean as the ones they might encounter in person. If we turn off every newbie who comes into this forum, then we will get less and less people wanting to become nurses. I think treating each person like their feelings are important, even on here, are good values of a nurse being put into action outside of the hospital. We represent nurses everywhere.

I'm sort of a newbie. I first came here for support and advice from those of you who have 'been there done that'. Some of the first questions and postings offended more than I had intended or imagined. That being said, I still enjoy coming here to kind of chat with others in the profession. There's just certain things all nurses can understand.:yes:

All you can do on your part is give advice. If they wanna react like children, then let them learn how that works in the real world on their own. Who cares if they react in another way? You did your part, and nothing will change that. It's like trying to educate a patient to be responsible with their treatment of medication. You do all you can to tell them how to get better, but you might see that same person come in the following week because they chose to sell their drugs for some cash or whatever the reason is. All we can do is our job. Can't help those who don't really want it.

When people do not like your answer because it was not what they wanted to hear and does not reinforce their perception of themselves as right and everyone else as wrong they complain that way.

Drives me nuts.

I have choked back some replies to those posters that just about killed me.:rolleyes:

Right. I would respond (or not), then brush it off and keep moving...

People CAN give support and helpful advice on here, but that doesn't mean they HAVE to. So, it doesn't mean I'm counting on it. And, if I give what I feel to be good advice, I don't NEED the intended to receive it. It's up to them what they wanna do with any given info.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
When people do not like your answer because it was not what they wanted to hear and does not reinforce their perception of themselves as right and everyone else as wrong they complain that way.

Drives me nuts.

I have choked back some replies to those posters that just about killed me.:rolleyes:

I guess my problem is that I'm not as successful at choking back those replies as you are. I need to let it go rather than try to convince people . . . .

Treating each person like their feelings are important is huge I agree. Does not mean validating them at any cost instead of being honest. I agree people need to be polite and supportive, but at some point you have to become direct and honest.

This.

Not everybody can handle honesty/criticism from people without getting their feelings hurt. I've noticed those who believe they are righteous can't take anything with a grain of salt. Pride is a hard bubble to bust.

But you know, expecting people to receive honest opinions without acting ridiculous is a little too much to ask!:wacky:

Specializes in Rehab, LTC, Peds, Hospice.

I think it's only a benefit if you have something to contribute, and seriously, why not? If you don't think it's beneficial, move on to the next post. Getting affronted that someone is posting in a forum without that background is fairly silly and territorial. We can learn from each other if we only have open minds. And Ruby - for the record - I always enjoy your posts. :yes:

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

I agree; if it's a general question, it doesn't matter if a nurse from another specialty chimes in. When they give advice in a specialty they have no experience in, that's a different matter.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Peds, Geriatrics, Home Health.

Oh my gosh this is funny. I do agree with you on this. The way I see it is that if it comes up in my feed and if it pertains to me in some way and I have something to add, I will add. If not, I won't. Now I did read something the other day and somebody wrote a response that was very rude and at the end of the response that they said "now I'm not a nurse but.." and I was thinking "well what the heck, who does this person think they are?" Now I could understand if it was a conversation concerning med techs and it was a med tech or if it was concerning CNA's and it was a CNA, but NO, it was about the legalities of narcotics.... and it was very in depth... they had no business butting in to state their opinion in this area because they were not educated in this particular area. I think if people just follow the rule that if it pertains to them and/or if they have knowledge and/or education/experience then they can add their two cents. :yes:

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