Quote from aznurse1
What I don't like, as an nurse, is how unprepared and unaccepting we are as a society in regards to death. So that frequently when I meet a patient that is dying, my experience is that there is no preparation or acknowledgement or acceptance of the event. This especially true for family members.
Please note, I'm am not talking about an untimely death or emergent situation. I am talking about death from old age or death from the natural progression of chronic multiple disease processes or illnesses associated with certain death. This is the most frustrating for me when I am working with a very old patient with heart disease, copd, diabetes, cancer, stroke , etc, etc and family members who are suprised and opposed to death.
It is stressful when a patient or family member does not understand/accept/have any interest in knowing about DEATH. Instead, in the hospital, its made to be some kind of emergency on a physical/emotional basis for the nurse. I find that extremely stressful for myself because the family members want something done right away so that the patient doesn't have to die....The kind of thoughts that go through my mind sometimes include, "are you kidding me?" when I'm told to get the doctor "NOW" to "FIX" someone who is dying.
as a hospice nurse, i get extremely frustrated that we as a society, are so anti-death.
more often than not, people seem to be more focused on the dying's quantity
of life, and not quality.
that yes, we will do everything possible to prolong the dying process.
it is even evidenced on the forums, where a poster will start a thread about dying/death, and there is little response to it.
plenty of readers, but little response.
over the years, i have also learned that families for the most part, ARE unwilling to let go.
it doesn't matter if mom is 103yo or that dad has mets ca, arf, advanced chf, etc.
we/drs are expected to do everything possible to work God's miracles.
otoh, (too) many doctors are grossly inexperienced with eol issues, and for whatever reason, will aggressively treat til the pt's last gasping breath.
i have no problems working with the dying.
for me, it's a privilege and often a challenge...
as each death is unique to the person, their etios, their psych, their attitudes, fears, etc.
op, my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your mom.
may time bring you comfort and healing.