How do you handle inappropriate touching from patients?

uRNmyway, ASN, RN · Aug 13, 2014

Last night he tried to grab my crotch and yes I feel "that violated". He is completely cognitive and knows what he's doing. He only does it with me and told a fellow staff member he doesn't like me because "that ******* ***** won't let me touch her tits". I am not only the charge nurse, I am the only nurse. There aren't male staff members and everyone goes in that room in twos. I flat out do not feel comfortable around him and I have every right to feel that way.
I'm going to complain to the boss again and try to figure something out. I don't get paid enough to be subjected to this behavior.
I've tried everything you all have mentioned and am still hoping someone has an idea I haven't thought of.

Just to be clear, i liked your post for the fact that you are defending being uncomfortable with this behavior, and rightfully so. How is this any different than someone on the bus trying to do anything like that? Would a doctor tolerate that? Would anyone tolerate that?! I'm with others, involve police. Threats are useless if you don't act on it.

unicoRNurse · Aug 13, 2014

It's toes to boobies-are you really feeling that violated? Your reactions are egging him on. He is not giving you purple nurples or shoving his hand in your crotch. Not really appropriate to "bring in the law" Maybe a psych consult. Is he acting out in other ways? Lots of old letches on LTC-everyone has to be consistent in their approach-sterile attention is usually effective but it takes time.

Shame on you.

marvelmom · Aug 14, 2014

Abbnurse I might mention that to the boss lady. I'm still a new nurse and learning and I've never heard of using estrogen on men for behavioral intervention.

Makes sense. I'm gonna google now.

abbnurse · Aug 14, 2014

Yes, it was something I hadn't considered before, either.....the psychiatrist was the MD who suggested it, and the patient's "regular" MD agreed.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. The patient I took care of had a long history of predatory behavior, and had been in and out of prison for crimes against children. He also clearly targeted young (or young-appearing staff), and was physically imposing.

Take care of yourself....I hope things improve soon. (((big hug)))

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Aug 15, 2014

Then I would be restraining him during treatments. 4-point ones. That's what we do when pts become physically aggressive and kicking staff.

Also no amount of "knock it off that's inappropriate behavior" stops him. He doesn't care. We do go in twos into his room but that doesn't stop him either.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Aug 15, 2014

Big hugs!!!

Thank you esme. I battle with PTSD from childhood sexual trauma and normally I can handle it but then again normally it's from a patient that has no clue who he is from dementia which to me is easier to deal with because those type of patients are easily redirected. This patient knows what he's doing and I'm singled out.
I just talked to my DON and she going to discuss it with social services and try to get him admitted for an eval. Hopefully this will happen and be the end of it.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Aug 15, 2014

I wish I could "like" this a thousand times!!

If her priest was exhibiting this behavior, or a relative, or her kickboxing coach, would there even be a question?? Any hint of excusing the behavior and blaming the victim (stating that she is "egging him on.") No, it would be considered unacceptable and NOT HER FAULT. As well it should--it wouldn't be her fault, any more than being sexually battered by a nursing home resident is her fault. Not only that, but it would be expected that there would be consequences for the perpetrator.

She was NOT egging him on; she was telling him to stop. Should she not tell him to stop? Is this the latest extreme in customer service, that a pt gets to steal a servicing from staff??

OP, I meant what I said in my first reply--if he refuses to keep his hands to himself, he would either not be getting the treatments or he would be 4-point restrained during the treatments. And like Esme said, if your facility is not backing you up I would be filing a report w/ the EEOC. You do not have to be subject to sexual battery in your place of employment!!!

No one has the right to wilfully touch a woman’s breast against her will. It doesn’t matter if it’s touching/stroking/squeezing that leaves no marks or rougher handling that leaves a bruise. I can’t believe I even have to say this!
Also, questioning if a person really feels violated when she obviously does is in my opinion out of line. So is the part about her egging him on.
In my opinion it’s very reasonable to file sexual harassment charges, when a person who is aware of what they’re doing is wrong, repeatedly rubs his toes against someone else’s breast against their expressed wish.

marvelmom · Aug 18, 2014

Update: Ive convinced the other nurses to heavily chart the behaviors. A few CNAs stepped forward and said they deal with this patient doing the same things to them but they stopped reporting it because some of the other nurses just blow off their concerns and tell them to "take him with a grain of salt" and walk away. Since I spoke up, they feel comfortable speaking up and have been. His medication has been adjusted to different times because he will take them for all the other nurses but myself so now I don't have to give him meds at all.

I believe he's got an appointment tomorrow for an eval.

I'll keep updating for those interested.

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Aug 18, 2014

What irritates me is, if this guy tried to grab visitors' body parts, he'd be out on the street. If he groped the female residents, he'd be out on the street. Employees on the other hand, are expected to accomodate this disgusting behavior.

I don't know the legalities of evicting LTC residents. I suspect it's hard since nobody else is going to want this guy.

That's what needs to happen. If he won't respect the staff, he has to go.

abbnurse · Aug 19, 2014

Update: Ive convinced the other nurses to heavily chart the behaviors. A few CNAs stepped forward and said they deal with this patient doing the same things to them but they stopped reporting it because some of the other nurses just blow off their concerns and tell them to "take him with a grain of salt" and walk away. Since I spoke up, they feel comfortable speaking up and have been. His medication has been adjusted to different times because he will take them for all the other nurses but myself so now I don't have to give him meds at all.
I believe he's got an appointment tomorrow for an eval.
I'll keep updating for those interested.

Good for you! Isn't it sad (and disturbing) that the other staff was dismissive of the CNA's when they voiced their concerns..... but you empowered everyone! :up: Please keep us posted.

LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN · Aug 19, 2014

What irritates me is, if this guy tried to grab visitors' body parts, he'd be out on the street. If he groped the female residents, he'd be out on the street. Employees on the other hand, are expected to accomodate this disgusting behavior.
I don't know the legalities of evicting LTC residents. I suspect it's hard since nobody else is going to want this guy.
That's what needs to happen. If he won't respect the staff, he has to go.

Heavy documentation has to happen and ALL options must have been attempted in order to "evict" the resident; meaning psych consults, psych meds, care planning, etc.

"Evicting" a resident can be complex; usually a transfer to another facility is the option, and most facilities DON'T and WON'T take a person how has inappropriate demeanor, especially one who is exhibiting inappropriate sexual behaviors.

abbnurse · Sep 4, 2014

Hi marvelmom,

Just wondering how you're doing and how things are going? I hope things are better !