Dumbest thing said to family

Nurses Relations

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So, I had an admission on Tuesday. 19 year old unresponsive with a right and left craniectomy..currently on a vent..scheduled to start weaning this past Wednesday. I forget what the mom and I were talking about...mom is really fragile btw (of course!)...the event happened early November. I said something like "I thought that I read in the chart that they removed one of her lobes". After I said it the mother freaked and started saying that the doctors didn't tell her that. She was pretty hysterical and I felt like an idiot. I really did think that I read it in the chart. I told her that I would double check...because I really hope that I wasn't telling her the wrong thing. Sure enough, I found the operative report and it said that a craniectomy was performed without lobectomy. What a douche I am! I went back to the mom and profusely apologized for saying what I said...the mother practically fell down in relief. I feel really bad. I've been thinking about this patient and her family since I left work on Tuesday. I am really nervous about going into work on tomorrow. I don't know if I will have her again. Should I stop beating myself over this? I am devastated. I am a first year nurse (5 months in) and I really do want to be great. I've really learned from this...learned to read more about my patients before blurting things out...

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Specializes in ICU / Urgent Care.

Well? You said you learned from it, you're human. Lesson was learned move on don't drag your knuckles over it, look at it as a positive thing and a learning experience.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

You will never make that mistake again!

I have one...a 19 year old college kid living at home, was in a car accident with a head injury. He was intubated on the vent and I was chit-chatting with the Mom when I mentioned that his tattoo was cute.

She raised her eye brow and said ..."what tattoo?" I wanted to swallow my tongue. The sibling in the room choked on the coffee they were drinking.

I spattered and stammered and finally I said "Well....the tattoo on his hip"

Which by the way were big red lips down low on the abdomen by the nether partsRed.jpg

Mom whipped back the covers and said "thank goodness he's injured when I found out about this...for if he wasn't I'd beat the crap out of him"

We finally all bust out laughing ....but it taught me to mind my big mouth!

The patient recovered and we all had a big laugh...he thanked me for taking the heat for him.

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When I answered the phone in the ICU I had just spent almost an hour talking with a patient and his family from the drawlin' Soufland and had sorta picked up some of their speech patterns. So when the voice on the other end asked me about how was Aunt Lily, I drawled, "I expect she's jus' fine," (she really was jus' fine, thank goodness), and got this horrified response, "What do you mean, you expect? Don't you know?" Oh, God, I wanted to fall through the floor. :chair:

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

well, if we didn't have such high expectations of nurses this would not be an issue. For the most part, it ends up being funny

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Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.

We had a walkie-talkie long term boarder patient on my unit for a few weeks. He was married. They had several young kids so she only showed up on day shift and then would leave before we came on for night shift. At night, the guy had one of three or four rotating women "staying the night" with him that he would variously introduce as friends, sisters, cousins, etc. (I did get a "this is my girlfriend" out of him once!) Obviously they weren't. But whatevs.

Anyway, one of the ladies and I had hit it off the night before -- her dog was sick, and we talked about that for a while. Did I mention that I'm really bad with faces? Couple of nights later, I'm taking care of him and swear it's the same lady in his room that night.

"So how's your dog doing?"

"WHAT DOG?!"

I left the room in a hurry. Might have made an apology in regards to thinking about the wrong patient. I can't remember.

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We had a walkie-talkie long term boarder patient on my unit for a few weeks. He was married. They had several young kids so she only showed up on day shift and then would leave before we came on for night shift. At night, the guy had one of three or four rotating women "staying the night" with him that he would variously introduce as friends, sisters, cousins, etc. (I did get a "this is my girlfriend" out of him once!) Obviously they weren't. But whatevs.

Anyway, one of the ladies and I had hit it off the night before -- her dog was sick, and we talked about that for a while. Did I mention that I'm really bad with faces? Couple of nights later, I'm taking care of him and swear it's the same lady in his room that night.

"So how's your dog doing?"

"WHAT DOG?!"

I left the room in a hurry. Might have made an apology in regards to thinking about the wrong patient. I can't remember.

Omg hahaha!!!

And Esme that is too good!!

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Specializes in ER.

Ha ha, my dumbest remark is turning to the woman accompanying the old man to the ER and stupidly saying "So you are the wife?". Uh, no, it's his daughter. Whoops. Never assume relationships, always ask!

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I once had a patient who was male, early 20s. There was a woman always with him in his room who I just assumed was his mom because she seriously looked like she was in her 50s. Anyway one day talking to them said "you and your mom..." The patient got this little grin on his face and said "this is my wife..." They were really nice about it and laughed but I never ever make assumptions about relationships anymore. I ask "is this your family?" And let them explain :)

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Ha ha my dumbest remark is turning to the woman accompanying the old man to the ER and stupidly saying "So you are the wife?". Uh, no, it's his daughter. Whoops. Never assume relationships, always ask![/quote']

I had one like that. I asked a guy if he was the patients husband...turned out to be her son...

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Specializes in ER.
I had one like that. I asked a guy if he was the patients husband...turned out to be her son...

Or, you have two young women, and say "So are you sisters?", and one of them says, "No, she is my wife"!

Awkward!:o

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I always say...Hi My name is Esme...you are the patient and you are...as I look to the family member

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