Do you stand up for yourself to patients?

[evolvingrn]

I am just shocked with a conversation I had with a co-worker. I had a pt family member that was being rude and I asked the family member to stop talking to me that way (nicely). I was relaying the story and she said 'oh you can't do that " I said huh? I have a right to not be verbally abused and she said "no .......I don't think you do as a nurse, we have to meet pts and their families where they are"

Really? I don't think that is true. I am one to set boundaries, just like I did with this family member and usually it turns out really well and we have workable pt/nurse relationship. Not in this case, they then even got more irate and rude and I got the charge.

But I stand by my right to not be verbally abused. What do you think ? Do you stand up for yourself or do you believe its okay to let people tear you down and be verbally aggressive to you and that is our role as a nurse?

[LindaBright, MSN]

Being a nurse does not mean being a doormat. However, there are some pretty delicate situations in which it is clear that a patient or family member is not acting out of aggression, but confusion, frustration or grief. While some things may be abusive, or merely inappropriate, I try to see the words or actions from the perspective of that person. If there is no reason for those words or actions, then I definitely speak up.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

It really depends on where you work and the culture of your work environment. Where I live, we are a work-at-will state, and you can and will be fired for any reason. Also, we do not have unions. It is sad, but yes, we do put up with a lot of stuff that we should not have to put up with. I have been an RN for 24 years now, and I remember the good old days when nurses were respected. Today, we put up with crap just to keep our jobs. I have yet to see our management take the side of the nurse.

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

I remember well getting no support in hospital, when I was an RN. It stank to high Heaven, but there was no help for it. There but for the grace of God go I. I got out of it, and never looked back. I miss the great people I worked with, but I did not nor do I still miss the politics, the headache, and the fruitless endeavors just to be treated with a little common decency.

[SaoirseRN]

I think it's truly sad when there is an expectation that we should simply take verbal (or other) abuse from people simply because we are nurses and they are "custromers". I don't work in the USA, so the culture of health care here is different. We get the same types of personalities, and administration deals in numbers and budgets, but this "customer is always right" attitude isn't so prevalent. I will not allow people to speak inappropriately to me, and I think it's a sorry world when a nurse would be fired for reminding somebody to use their manners.

[tewdles, RN]

Establishment of professional boundaries for delivery of nursing care is important.

Patients and family members who are abusive to staff should be educated as to the expectations for their behavior. The patient and family Rights and Responsibilities of your agency should define those expectations.

Document!

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I don't know why nurses feel they have to fall victim to this. It is not in your job description. Even someone who is confused has no right to treat you like that. If you have self-confidence issues or self-esteem issues, do some soul searching. Practice what you would say when someone is unreasonable. Write down how you would respond, it will help you gain confidence when the time comes. And most importantly, if your manager will not back you up in a situation like this, is this really somewhere you want to work? It will make a hell of a story in your next job interview

^ not only is it NOT a part if our job description, but in most states anyone threatening (assault) and attempts to cause bodily harm (battery) is a FELONY in most states.

I will call the police, fill out incident reports (I have filled out incident reports for pts who were out if control, as well as with people as a witness) and do whatever it takes to make my job a safe environment. And If management fires me for trying to maintain a safe environment, they will be in hot water...they will be paying ME AND the FEDS...that's their loss.

So if you ever THINK or HEAR someone tell you that nurses are supposed to "take IT," give them this info: http://www.ena.org/IENR/Documents/State%20Survey%20-%20Criminal%20Laws%20-%20Misdemeanor%20and%20Felony.pdf

and THEN say "Your Welcome...now let's fund a way to establish some boundaries for the sake of our pts!!!"

[Music in My Heart]

Still reading through this thread but just wanted to post: I'm happy to get the charge... none of them are the types to put up with loud, obnoxious people either.

First the charge, then the cops.

[rn2be73]

one of the many reasons i no longer have any desire whatsoever to continue in the nursing profession....the "customer" is NOT always right and since when did healthcare become customer service anyway? One of the reasons our healthcare system is broken

[medic0681]

you must, but I have seen "the suits" throw nurse under the bus for it..sad

[canned_bread]

Absolutely, as long as you are polite and professional, you have the right to stand up for yourself. One time I needed to give a push of IV antibiotics to a young patient (in his 20's) that was rude all the time, and he proceeded to say swear words to me and what not. A few hours later he asked me if anything was wrong (I had been silent around him and must have been giving off a bad vibe!). I told him, politely, that I felt disrespected by his behaviour earlier and I didn't like it. He apologised. That nipped it in the bud and we were "mates" for the rest of his hospital stay.

I think you have a right, as long as it is professional, to ask for basic manners. Australia also has a policy that states no violence towards health professionals in hospitals. This basically translates to no forms of any form of aggression will be tolerated. Verbal or otherwise.

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

I thought of an exception; my TB patients. Sometimes I let them shoot the messenger. I make them swallow an enormous number of pills for 6 months straight, & I tell them they can't leave their home for weeks at a time. Thus, I let it slide if they get a little testy with me!

[tewdles, RN]

I agree, Mariebailey, we do have to let good amounts of bad behavior slide...these people are generally not well and pretty stressed by the time they get to interact daily with an RN.

Let it slide while orienting them to their responsibilities as a patient...