Demeaned by a Doctor

Nurses Relations

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I work as a PCT at an ICU and just currently started nursing school. Last Thursday towards the end of shift I was waved into a room by a doctor. I rarely talk to the doctors at my job. It's not personal or anything like that. They know they don't need to confer with me and I know I don't need to confer with them. This was a peculiar set of events and I was curious to say the least. As soon as I arrived in patients room I was immediately talk to in a way I have not been talked to in a long long time. I was immediately demeaned as she badgered me about how nobody on this unit follows the rules and the patient should not be sitting in a recliner in from of thousands dollars worth of equipment (she was referring to the bedside computer). I was calm and asked if she would like me to move her up a little so she could use it. She immediately barked back 'yes' and that would be needing a chair. I walked over past the cabinet and told her there is usually a chair hanging on the wall in every room but this time there wasn't and she barked back again. I wish I could paint the picture of how she talked to me because I'm not doing her any justice on this post. What's comical is I've never seen a doctor (Ever!) on this unit chart by the bedside. The hospital is brand new and they were given their own private office full of computers where they can chart but they instead use the ones the techs and nurses need. Her high and mightly attitude blew me away. The daughter of the patient was even the one who put her in the recliner but that didn't matter and that isn't the point. Where the patient was, was an ideal spot because it allowed her to be right in front of her television. In my head while I was in the room I was thinking..."Sorry Massa, I don't know how the chair got in front of the computer massa, how can I help Massa?"

My dad was a doctor and didn't treat people like that. You treat everyone equally in my book. Your profession is a huge part of you but it is not who are. Everyone from every aspect of life should be treated exactly as you would treat a doctor, the pope, or Jesus Christ reincarnated. I can't seem to let this thing go. It's been three days and I still have not let go of this. I could use some advice.

As soon as I arrived in patients room I was immediately talk to in a way I have not been talked to in a long long time. I was immediately demeaned as she badgered me about how nobody on this unit follows the rules and the patient should not be sitting in a recliner in from of thousands dollars worth of equipment (she was referring to the bedside computer). let go of this. I could use some advice.

I probably would have said, "Rule # 1 for me is I don't tolerate verbal abuse. I'm going to return to the desk, come let me know when you've had a chance to calm down and I'll be happy to talk with you."

You teach people how to treat you.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I used to be somewhat intimidated by doctors when I was a new nurse. Luckily, I got over it when I realized that a) they are made just like regular humans; b) they eat, drink, eliminate, reproduce, and put their britches on in pretty much the same manner as the rest of us; and c) they have mortgages and bills and screaming kids like everyone else. Therefore, doctors are no better, and no worse, than you and I.

Truth be told, I've been really fortunate throughout my career to work with physicians who treat me like I have a brain. But the respect goes both ways; I learned early on to have my ducks lined up, and the patient's chart in front of me, BEFORE I call the physician. One of the surest ways I know of to irritate an MD is to waste his or her time. Of course, some of them are jerks like the one in the OP, and all you can do with people like that is to ignore their ugliness with the contempt it deserves (and never, ever take it personally!). But I'd venture to say that the vast majority of doctors are decent folk with horribly busy schedules who are drowning in paperwork and who have too many patients to give any of them the attention they really need, and that makes them tired and cranky. We get tired and cranky too. :sleep:

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I'm sorry that happened to you - you will run across a few like that in your career. The first time it happened to me I was in shock. Because, like you I was just the nearest person when a dysfunctional individual had an infantile need to unload their miserable selves on somebody else. Hopefully it will just be someone you don't encounter very often as it was with most of the people who did it to me. Just be glad you don't have to be that person because they may wonder why it seems life is always handing them a **** sandwich and never figure it out -- or they do know and can't like themselves very much for that type of behavior. If you had to cross paths every day it would be a different story.

I know that some hospitals have instituted report forms for these encounters - basically they start a paper trail that can be seen if one person habltually demeans and abuses others.

I know you'll shake it off sooner rather than later and best wishes to you in nursing school! :)

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

I don't tolerate verbal abuse and will confront it head on. The last doc who thought he was going to take a chunk out of my behind got a very rude awakening. I simply said calmly and professionally "Will you come with me please?" and grabbed another RN. We went into the nearest available area and I shut the door. Needless to say, we had a nice "fellowship" and I never had another problem with this doc's attitude. Most of these types will back down when they see their behavior won't be accepted or ignored. If you choose to confront someone like this, always have another person with you simply as a witness. There is also strength in numbers. (((HUGS)))

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I don't tolerate verbal abuse and will confront it head on. The last doc who thought he was going to take a chunk out of my behind got a very rude awakening. I simply said calmly and professionally "Will you come with me please?" and grabbed another RN. We went into the nearest available area and I shut the door. Needless to say, we had a nice "fellowship" and I never had another problem with this doc's attitude. Most of these types will back down when they see their behavior won't be accepted or ignored. If you choose to confront someone like this, always have another person with you simply as a witness. There is also strength in numbers. (((HUGS)))

This. I have worked with doctors for over 20 years and used to get tromped on a lot. Finally one day I had HAD it. A doctor decided to yell at me in the middle of a hallway in front of patients and co-workers. I calmly told him we would not be having this conversation until he was able to speak like an adult. He sputtered, shouted "This is ridiculous!" and walked away. The next day he apologized to me and we have been congenial colleagues ever since.

I truly believe boundaries play a big role and that there IS a proper, appropriate way to draw them.

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We have a resident's room right behind the nurses station and I hate going in there for orders. Most of those jerks won't even acknowledge our presence and it's not just me they do it to the experienced nurses too. I don't even bother standing there waiting for these demi-gods to acknowledge me. I just start speaking and if they act like they don't hear me I keep going and walk out when I'm done. If I don't see new orders in a few minutes then I page them. What gives people the right to be so unmannerly is beyond me. Everyone talks about how every other discipline is stressed out so nurses have to be understanding. Well, my job is stressful to...why can't I walk around with a huge chip on my shoulder? One time I had worked with a really rude female resident all night long. You approach her and she is like "What?" that's how she spoke to all of us all shift. The next day I saw her on the subway and we made eye contact and she started to speak to me and I deliberately turned my back on her and walked away. I don't know why that rude so and so thought I would ever speak to her outside of work. The next time I worked with her she made sure to say hello and since then her behavior has improved tremendously. I don't know why some MDs feel they have the right to be so rude.

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I'm going to adopt your philosophy throughout my career. Much thanks. I am also a large and fit man. lol.

I have two ways of dealing with doctors. For those that are professional & civil I am professional & civil in return. For those that are just bullies in white coats I let them know (without actually every saying the words) that I would be happy to find them alone in the parking lot and teach them a lesson if they choose to demean or insult myself or my fellow nurses. It works cause I am a large fit man. One should not have to stoop to such tactics but I simply will not allow any bully to abuse me or my coworkers reguardless wether they are hiding behind their white coat or not.

Usually when faced with a strong and assertive responce to their childish or malicous behavior they back off.

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Thank you everybody, again. I'm kind of at a laughing point in my process now. All your experiences are exactly what I needed to get to the laughing stage. I know I'll be faced with this again. Learning through experience has always given me the most growth. Lesson learned.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I'm going to adopt your philosophy throughout my career. Much thanks. I am also a large and fit man. lol.

Well if I'd known that I would have advised you to chuck the lady in a rolling linen hamper and give it just enough of a kick to send her on a slow ride past all those fancy computers she can't get to. :p (kidding people do not flame!)

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glad you've made it to laughing.:jester: i've heard that it's helpful to look at the person who's behaving badly and imagine him or her in a very embarrassing condition-- naked in the sidewalk in front of the hospital, with a balloon hat and spinach in the front teeth, wearing large polka dots, something that makes you smile. it makes them crazy when you smile as if they aren't bothering you and you know something they don't.

even so. some folks who maybe haven't had this experience yet, and especially if they're pcas or techs, might not be quite ok to handle it solo. always report this sort of foolishness to your supervisor-- nurse, charge nurse, nurse manager, and get it on the record.

we had a hospitalist (for whose practice i worked as an in-house case manager) who was famous for this, once went off on me standing in the middle of the icu when i told him some news he didn't want to hear about a patient family member, and would not calm down or move to a more private area; screaming, veins bulging, really gone. he also used to sometimes spout off about getting bigger bonuses at the end of the year if he got people discharged faster (1. not true, 2. illegal), and pepper with me with personal insults when i told him the patient wasn't safe for discharge yet. every time he did it i called the hospital risk manager {because yes, this is a risk-- what if a patient or family hears this sort of bs?), encouraged others to do the same (and they did, once i told them they could)} and sent a note to the practice senior partner. at the end of his year contract he was gone.

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