Dear British "Hoaxed" Nurse: - page 2

by BostonTerrierLoverRN

12,518 Visits | 55 Comments

Dearest British "Hoaxed" Nurse (Nurse Saldanha): As an American Nurse I know our scope may be different, but we are both "nurses" none-the-less. There is more that is in-common, than is different. We both have strengths and... Read More


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    Quote from ThePrincessBride
    I'm thinking there is a bit more to this story that doesn't meet the eye. The hospital stood by this nurse AND the royals insisted that she would not be retaliated...so I think she was already mentally unstable to begin with.
    Good point.
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    Beautiful tribute. I don't know how tough the privacy laws are over there, but I'm pretty sure if the Queen was on the phone (especially when there's legitimate reason for her to be calling the hospital and not just some random day), you don't question Her Majesty. I hate that this happened and pray for strength and comfort for her family, friends, coworkers, the royal couple, and even the DJs and the radio station. Maybe people will stop and think before they speak or act.
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    Quote from blondy2061h
    The media is out of control. Their ceaseless pestering led to Diana's death, and now just a few short years into Will and Kate's marriage there's already been a needless death.
    The Paparazzi aren't totally blameless, but Diana and Dodi Fayed might have lived if their chauffeur hadn't been legally drunk.
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    Quote from ThePrincessBride
    I'm thinking there is a bit more to this story that doesn't meet the eye. The hospital stood by this nurse AND the royals insisted that she would not be retaliated...so I think she was already mentally unstable to begin with.
    Really, that is just speculation. One need not be mentally unstable to be entirely overwhelmed by unexpected, world-wide attention.

    Even assuming, for the sake of argument that this nurse was fragile, how does this change the situation? If one is going to devise and execute a hoax, shouldn't one think out in advance the likely possible consequences. I'm not suggesting that the media-types could have predicted suicide, but it was likely that innocent people, which includes the Duchess (?. I'm not up on my royalty titles) would be distressed by their self-serving hoax.

    An ordinary prank is expected to provide a good laugh, including to the "victim." I doubt very much if the hoaxsters in this case had any such intention to the royals or the hospital staff. It has the odor instead of a particularly self-centered teenager.

    My $.02 anyway.
    sapphire18, havehope, twinkletoes53, and 2 others like this.
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    Quote from Not_A_Hat_Person
    The Paparazzi aren't totally blameless, but Diana and Dodi Fayed might have lived if their chauffeur hadn't been legally drunk.
    There's a comedian who wonders what did Diana expect? Read the Old Testament. When's the last time anything good happened to an Egyptian?
    BostonTerrierLoverRN likes this.
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    I am heartbroken over this whole story, and the comments that disgust me the most are those that speculate other potential reasons why she took her life.

    1. It doesn't matter. She's gone. Her family and co workers and patients and friends are suffering. How does accusation and speculation help ANYONE at this point? How is armchair psychology gonna help bring her back or fix anything?

    2. You have NO IDEA what her reasons were. NONE. You didn't feel her feelings or think her thoughts. You have NO IDEA if SHE thought suicide was "worth it." Whatever her reasons, just the prank or existing instability - for ANYONE to question or declare if its "worth it" is crass at worst, and disrespectful at best. Maybe ending the pain seemed "worth it" to her at the time. It was her decision and her pain and her despair. It's no one's place to decide the "worth" of any decision like this. It sucks and it's tragic and sad and devastating. The least we can do is respect whatever reason brought her to that point, even if we don't feel "comfortable" with that reason. I'm sure she would appreciate us learning from this rather than seeing it as an opportunity to assign "worth" to her decision. I know everyone reacts differently to suicide and I understand often people don't know what to say, but come on.

    I speak as someone who survived a very real attempt. I wanted to scream at anyone who told me "it's not worth it." That is not for you to decide. Suicide is the ultimate selfish act but that is exactly why you cannot designate its "worth." Think about it.

    I wholeheartedly agree that media is largely responsible - the producers AND consumers who create the market demand.

    I hope she is in an eternally peaceful place.
    Armygirl7, havehope, june42, and 4 others like this.
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    Your tribute is beautifully written. Hopefully this terrible tragedy will have some good come of it. I know that I take the privacy stuff very serious and if I thought I had done something wrong with the Queen I would be scared ******** too. I mean, it's not just some regular patient, but the family of the Queen of England. And privacy violations are very serious, so I can see where this could have caused a really big problem. Worrying if you are going to get fired, etc.
    What I find interesting is that there is no discussion of the "nurse" that the call was passed to, and she supposedly is the one that gave out the information to the DJs. I'd love to know if she still has a job. If she has had a gag order placed on her by the hospital, etc. For all we know she got in a lot of trouble and that may be why this nurse took her own life.
    At the end of the day, it is a terrible tragedy and we all need to take care of each other.
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    Beautiful tribute, BTL. I pray that her family is granted a measure of peace and understanding that is above and beyond what we imperfect humans are able to confer, even with the best intentions.
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    In my state she would have been "thrown under the bus" by the hospital. She was humiliated worldwide. How could she have ever gone anywhere without finger-pointing and comments? We who do not protect our own are all to blame, if you've ever pointed a finger at a colleague for a med error, charting error, etc. Think about it......
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    I have attempted suicide before so I am well aware of what goes through a person's mind when they think about suicide and rarely is any of it rational. A mentally stable person wouldn't have taken their life over a stupid joke, especially when their job wasn't on the line time begin with.Yes it is sad and I feel for her and her family but it is silly to say that a mentally stable person would hang themselves over a stupid prank like this. And this someone who suffers from mental illness more than you could imagine.
    Quote from mclennan
    I am heartbroken over this whole story, and the comments that disgust me the most are those that speculate other potential reasons why she took her life. 1. It doesn't matter. She's gone. Her family and co workers and patients and friends are suffering. How does accusation and speculation help ANYONE at this point? How is armchair psychology gonna help bring her back or fix anything?2. You have NO IDEA what her reasons were. NONE. You didn't feel her feelings or think her thoughts. You have NO IDEA if SHE thought suicide was "worth it." Whatever her reasons, just the prank or existing instability - for ANYONE to question or declare if its "worth it" is crass at worst, and disrespectful at best. Maybe ending the pain seemed "worth it" to her at the time. It was her decision and her pain and her despair. It's no one's place to decide the "worth" of any decision like this. It sucks and it's tragic and sad and devastating. The least we can do is respect whatever reason brought her to that point, even if we don't feel "comfortable" with that reason. I'm sure she would appreciate us learning from this rather than seeing it as an opportunity to assign "worth" to her decision. I know everyone reacts differently to suicide and I understand often people don't know what to say, but come on. I speak as someone who survived a very real attempt. I wanted to scream at anyone who told me "it's not worth it." That is not for you to decide. Suicide is the ultimate selfish act but that is exactly why you cannot designate its "worth." Think about it. I wholeheartedly agree that media is largely responsible - the producers AND consumers who create the market demand. I hope she is in an eternally peaceful place.


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