Dating Patients

Nurses Relations

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Anyone here ever date/go out/marry a patient. I personally have never done it, but have seen it happen....i recall one time a male nurse dated a patients daughter...We got her on our floor one day after she attempted suicide, he had cheated on her.

Another employee dated a patient and married them........They both were married prior.......

Just curious if anyone else has seen this

So this is an old thread, but I thought I'd go to allnurses.com for some insight and opinions on this topic. I've been caring for a guy who is 6 months older than I am who came into my unit with a broken jaw a couple of days ago. I had him on my shifts his entire stay. Anyways, he's mentally competent and is quite a good looking young fella despite his puffy, wired jaw. We had a good, therapeautic, professional relationship during my shifts with some witty banter thrown in for good measure. On my last shift (which ended this morning), he said he wanted to cook me dinner when he's able to open his mouth and that he wanted to give me his number. I said I couldn't accept either because it'd be unprofessional. He said he was going to make me take his number, which I did wind up with at the end of my shift. He has been discharged from my unit now. So this all got me thinking, am I cruel, unethical nurse if I did wind up taking this guy up on the offer or by calling him? Who is it hurting? What is unprofessional about it? If I did either, I don't really see me taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable physically or emotionally. He's not mentally ill or addicted to anything and the only thing remotely physically awkward I saw was his right butt cheek when I gave him an IM for pain control. I never really thought I'd be entertaining going on a date with an ex-patient. Never really thought it'd come up...

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Specializes in ER/ MEDICAL ICU / CCU/OB-GYN /CORRECTION.

Should you decide CoolHandLu, I hope he is a good cook !

Marc ;)

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

My first response was IT'S UNETHICAL then I remembered...

My father married the nurse who took care of his mother before she died. They've lived happily ever after. She worked for an agency, doing in home care because the family would not put grandma in a nursing home. I don't know how long they waited to start dating after the death. I know they flirted while she was grandma's nurse.

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Once when I was working in the ER as a tech a guy came in short of breath and his heartrate was really rapid. After triage I took him to his room and helped him undress so I could hook him up to EKG (wow he was buffed and handsome!).

I've been reading/posting to the "male nurse" forums and related topics... as a male nurse, imagine the responses I would get if I said regarding a patient:

"... I took her to her room and helped her undress so I could hook up the EKG (and wow, was she stacked!)."

Sorry to be off-topic, but this just illustrates the double standard. If a famale nurse has a young, attractive male patient and takes a peek at and/or evaluates his exposed body... well, it's no big deal, it's understoood that she is a professional, etc. If a male nurse does EXACTLY the same thing with a famale patient he's a deviant predator.

I would guess the same double standard would apply to dating patients. If a female nurse does it it's cute, if a male nurse does it, it's abusive.

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Specializes in critical care transport.
Once when I was working in the ER as a tech a guy came in short of breath and his heartrate was really rapid. After triage I took him to his room and helped him undress so I could hook him up to EKG (wow he was buffed and handsome!).

I've been reading/posting to the "male nurse" forums and related topics... as a male nurse, imagine the responses I would get if I said regarding a patient:

"... I took her to her room and helped her undress so I could hook up the EKG (and wow, was she stacked!)."

Sorry to be off-topic, but this just illustrates the double standard. If a famale nurse has a young, attractive male patient and takes a peek at and/or evaluates his exposed body... well, it's no big deal, it's understoood that she is a professional, etc. If a male nurse does EXACTLY the same thing with a famale patient he's a deviant predator.

I would guess the same double standard would apply to dating patients. If a female nurse does it it's cute, if a male nurse does it, it's abusive.

I totally understand your point of view, and yes, I'm female.

Yes, I get the "every man is a predator" point. I am sorry that society has set you up for it. :o Seems like we have to lump 'em all in the same catagory because of a few bad apples. I personally am sick of everything having to be super sexualized in tv, media, and film. It makes men look like animals which are incapable of controling themselves, and makes women's highest calling looking like being a big busted bimbo.:angryfire

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Specializes in NA, Stepdown, L&D, Trauma ICU, ER.

"Dating a patient would be unprofessional behavior at its worst IMHO and one would risk their job and their license. I'm sure it happens (hopefully loooong AFTER the nurse patient relationship ends) but people wisely keep mum."

The unit I worked before I transferred to babyland was the designated "adult CF" unit in the area. Once pts outgrew childrens hospital (I think they get kicked out at 22) they came to us for their tune ups. A pt who was a fairly frequent flyer was married to one of his nurses from childrens :uhoh3: We never asked how they came to be a couple...I'm sticking to he was 21 and she was a cute lil thing, straight out of nursing school. Anything else is just yucky.

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Coolhandlu,

Are you truly struggling with trying to decide what to do next? Are you in this situation voluntarily or was it forced upon you?(rhetorical question). You did not "wind up" with his number at the end of your shift, you accepted it and it is in your possession. You know what your options are already: you toss it, you keep it and contact him, or you keep it and never contact him (so why keep it?). I am only asking that you evaluate your intent in this circumstance. You told this patient you would be unable to take his contact information because it would be unprofessional, yet you took it.

Dating a patient is unprofessional behavior on the part of the nurse. Why? Because the patient you are caring for is in the vulnerable position of receiving care from a healthcare professional. You can argue "he's mentally competent" and ask "who is it hurting?" but the fact remains the fact. You'll go out with him or you won't. You'll be a professional or you won't.

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Once when I was working in the ER as a tech a guy came in short of breath and his heartrate was really rapid. After triage I took him to his room and helped him undress so I could hook him up to EKG (wow he was buffed and handsome!).

I've been reading/posting to the "male nurse" forums and related topics... as a male nurse, imagine the responses I would get if I said regarding a patient:

"... I took her to her room and helped her undress so I could hook up the EKG (and wow, was she stacked!)."

Sorry to be off-topic, but this just illustrates the double standard. If a famale nurse has a young, attractive male patient and takes a peek at and/or evaluates his exposed body... well, it's no big deal, it's understoood that she is a professional, etc. If a male nurse does EXACTLY the same thing with a famale patient he's a deviant predator.

I would guess the same double standard would apply to dating patients. If a female nurse does it it's cute, if a male nurse does it, it's abusive.

I agree with you, too. I've been married my whole career, too, but even if I wasn't, it's kind of a hang-up with me - once they are in the bed, they lose all sexual appeal to me. I've heard some of the girls mention how cute someone or other is - and I can never see them that way.

I've had a few old gents come on to me:lol2: but I figure that they're looking for a nurse to care for them in their old age!

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Specializes in home health, neuro, palliative care.

Sorry to be off-topic, but this just illustrates the double standard. If a famale nurse has a young, attractive male patient and takes a peek at and/or evaluates his exposed body... well, it's no big deal, it's understoood that she is a professional, etc. If a male nurse does EXACTLY the same thing with a famale patient he's a deviant predator.

I would guess the same double standard would apply to dating patients. If a female nurse does it it's cute, if a male nurse does it, it's abusive.

It IS a double standard, but I like to think of it as payback for women not being able to walk alone at night. ;)

~Mel'

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.
It IS a double standard, but I like to think of it as payback for women not being able to walk alone at night. ;)

~Mel'

Excuse me?!
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I don't think that is in the Nurses Code of Ethics

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.

Since this is a resurrected thread with a new twist on the question, let's stick to that question. Specifically, the poster wishes to know if it's OK to date a now-former pt. I suspect that *somewhere* in her hospital's policies this is referenced. It was actually spelled out in the rules for our psych unit that, should one choose to pursue a social relationship with a patient where none previously existed, there should be a lapse of six months from time of discharge.

Granted, as I heard the entire time I worked there, "Psych is different." Your mileage may vary. I would tread lightly, check into the existence of such a policy, and should you choose to pursue this, be discreet. And should he return to the unit for care for any reason, request you not be assigned to care for him since there are clearly feelings going at least one way, and probably both directions :). Good luck and be careful.

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