Dating Patients

smartnurse1982 · Jul 11, 2012

Oh my gosh,I said it would never happen to me,but I actually have a crush on one of my patients!I don't want to tell anyone either,so that's why I'm typing it on here.He is my homecare patient,32 years of age,a quad,cute face,still very muscular,vented,trached,foley,colostomy,but the thing is I'm only sexually attracted to him(yeah I know,weird). He is AAOx3,and intelligent with an Iq of 130. He told me I was cute and asked his uncle "do you think she would want me?

He curses most of the nurses out,but he doesn't curse me out. I sweat everytime I see him.This is really weird to me and scary. He isn't the type I go for either. I really don't know wwhat the heck it is,but I'm just attracted to him. I have never felt this way about any guy before. Please help with some suggestions.

Asystole RN · Jul 12, 2012

:eek:

Dating a patient or their family is a grievious violation of the nurse-patient relationship. It is completely unprofessional and I am speechless that nurses here can even consider it.

Daisy_08, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2012

Oh my gosh,I said it would never happen to me,but I actually have a crush on one of my patients!I don't want to tell anyone either,so that's why I'm typing it on here.He is my homecare patient,32 years of age,a quad,cute face,still very muscular,vented,trached,foley,colostomy,but the thing is I'm only sexually attracted to him(yeah I know,weird). He is AAOx3,and intelligent with an Iq of 130. He told me I was cute and asked his uncle "do you think she would want me?
He curses most of the nurses out,but he doesn't curse me out. I sweat everytime I see him.This is really weird to me and scary. He isn't the type I go for either. I really don't know wwhat the heck it is,but I'm just attracted to him. I have never felt this way about any guy before. Please help with some suggestions.

I think you need to stop seeing him as a pt.

smartnurse1982 · Jul 12, 2012

I think you need to stop seeing him as a pt.

I think that might be the problem.I want to see him as a "just another patient" but cant due to the crush. When I first oriented,his Mom and the other nurse told us to see him as person and not as a patient.

smartnurse1982 · Jul 12, 2012

I looked through the policy manual and have not seen any info about dating a patient.Does that make it ok?

Sacred eagle · Jul 12, 2012

It is a violation of the nurse practice act and if you are found out,the Bon will come down on you hard.

WSteven1 · Jul 12, 2012

Apr 14, '05 by erroridiot

There are two sides to every coin. I guess that I can't see anything to joke about when human emotions and lives are involved.......but I did notice - IMHO - that you are displaying some ambivalence about this subject.....

Erroridiot...I understand and appreciate where you are coming from. However, are you not taking this a bit TOO seriously? After all, isn't the purpose of this thread (and others) to bring about non-judgmental discussions by all parties involved regarding this issue? Not downplaying the seriousness and/or implications of anyone's actions should they cross the line, but, I have found this thread to be VERY thought-provoking.

Although not a Nurse (and I do NOT play one on tv...:chuckle), I can understand and appreciate BOTH sides of this issue. As an embedded information professional working with Nursing programs, I too am bound by policies and procedures when dealing with both, especially females. Does that mean that I am EXTRA-CAREFUL when so doing? You betcha!!! I have rearranged two of my offices (I work six different campuses in two states) to where my desk and chair are in a corner with open access to the rest of the room, OR, the students sits at a 90-degree angle to me with the desk/conference table between us.

Our facility has a policy dealing with fraternization between professors and students if the student is taking a course the professor is teaching. That having been said, I was working with a soon-to-be graduating RN student to help her improve a paper she had written so she could pass a given course (at the faculty member's request), and graduate that semester. We worked together very closely and I became overly fond of her, although NOTHING happened until AFTER graduation, when I asked her to lunch one afternoon (with my wife's full knowledge beforehand). She, another former female student and I have become fast friends and have met numerous times for lunch (again, with my wife's full knowledge beforehand).

My wife has never expressed concern over this situation because she knows I tell her EVERYTHING (even about the 'secret crush' on a female Nursing Faculty member) beforehand. We have even discussed both situations mentioned above (as well as with my therapist). In conversations with both individuals (my wife and my therapist) the response has been that to be aware of it (and verbalize it) is one thing but to act on it is totally something else...just my $.02 worth.

smartnurse1982 · Jul 12, 2012

It is a violation of the nurse practice act and if you are found out,the Bon will come down on you hard.

How? I see anything about dating patients in the nurse practice act. I don't see anything on the Nj state Bon website.I'm thinking maybe its more of an ethical dilemma?But yeah,it does seem kinda gross when I think about it.

tara07733 · Jul 12, 2012

It's so funny that you ask this. A few nights ago I was watching a new hospital 'reality' show. There was a segment where an attractive nurse was treating a guy. She was going to check his BP and the guy made a comment, something like her being attractive and affecting his BP or something (gag!). Days after he was released he came back to the hospital with a dozen flowers in tow to ask the nurse --during her shift--if she wanted to go on a date with her. This was all on camera and I thought the whole thing was so inappropriate. I'm not even a nursing student yet and I could still see how outsiders could look at that and think certain things about nurses (not that it would be true). Of course I take reality TV with a grain of salt but for some reason this annoyed me. I'm sure people have hooked up with healthcare workers in the past and i have no problem with that whatsoever. But it all seemed unprofessional.

Asystole RN · Jul 13, 2012

How? I see anything about dating patients in the nurse practice act. I don't see anything on the Nj state Bon website.I'm thinking maybe its more of an ethical dilemma?But yeah,it does seem kinda gross when I think about it.

Dating patients is extremely unprofessional. In my state they have and do strongly discipline nurses for this. You are in a place of authority over a vulnerable person. Taking advantage of the nurse-patient relationship and dating a patient is a form of sexual predation.

To even seriously consider dating a patient demonstrates a profound lack of moral fidelity. Call your BON and ask them what they think about it and post it here.

Stop seeing the patient immediately.

scimajor · Aug 10, 2012

Never thought I would ever find any patient attractive.

A couple nights ago I did have a very pleasant admit on a nerdy (my kind of cute) younger patients. I very rarely like admit but with most questions he would have a story or two some about people that we both knew (former patient and his wife/new coworker) and about life in general, his nephews, strokes-his and my moms came up when I told him that I understood his frustration and that things do get worse when your exhausted. Also just in doing his physical assessment his wanting kids in the future came up, being able to relate to their acne. The whole night I did his assessment, a bedside swallow, the history/meds, vs x2, nuero check and got him a scrub top (totally against the rule by the way but I will do it for any patient no just the cute ones).

Anyway did I say anything to him that I thought he was cute no, will I do anything to pursue this, no. Would I object if I ran into him outside of the hospital a bit down the road, no, would I immediately have a physical reationship, no not with anyone.